Fraud 40
by Mackiecam
Summary: Helen is taken in by a con man, and she asks Steph for help in sorting it all out. Meanwhile, Steph struggles with her mental health and Ranger and Julie struggle with supporting her. Definitely a babe.
1. Chapter 1

_The following story is a work of fiction_ _that features characters developed by Janet Evanovich. No money has been earned through writing this story. Any similarities to real events or persons are entirely coincidental. _

_Although a stand-alone, this book builds upon the previous books in my series. Because it is a stand-alone, however, there is a lot of review in the first chapter and a lot of explanation of how I have changed the characters and storylines from JE's. I know some people find that a bit tedious. If you are sensitive to that and don't want the review, feel free to skip reading the first chapter._

_Out of the previous books in my series, the first one is a bit cupcake-y, but the rest are pure babes and develop the relationships between the characters. For maximum enjoyment, I suggest that you read them in the following order:_

_22 Caliber_

_Trigger Happy 23 _

_Morelli's Argument 23.5_

_Ranger 23.75_

_Threatening 24_

_Fixation 25_

_Security 26_

_Sneaky 27_

_Date Night at the Movies 27.1_

_Meeting Maria 27.2_

_The Intervention 27.3_

_Envious 28_

_Dickie's Demise 28.1_

_Mob Matters 28.2_

_Altercation at Giovichinni's 28.3_

_Numbskull 29_

_Toxic 30_

_Obit 31_

_Tamper 32_

_Theft 33_

_Forced 34_

_Fiesta 35_

_Step 36_

_Snatched 37_

_Exhumed 38_

_Nativity 39_

_My posting is a little all over the place, as my father died a week ago and I've been busy doing family things. I will still try to post two chapters a day – but please be patient if I miss a day or only post one chapter. _

_Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated. I have a few people who regularly review for me, and I'd like to thank you for that. Your reviews have given me the confidence to write another story. I appreciate all reviews and try to respond to each and every one. Please note that I cannot respond to reviews that have been posted by guests. _

_Thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoy it!_

_~ Sarah ~_

**Chapter One**

I finished nursing Tia and left her snuggled into my bare chest to have a nap. At three weeks old, she was growing like a bad weed. She'd only been four pounds, three ounces when she was born and had gained two ounces since. Of course, she was born six weeks early, and that explained her small size.

My name was Stephanie Plum, and Tia was my newborn daughter. Her daddy, Ricardo Carlos Manoso or, more commonly known as Ranger, was on his way to the airport to pick up his thirteen-year old daughter from his first marriage. Julie was incredibly excited about meeting her sister for the first time, and I was incredibly excited for Julie to meet her.

Ranger had been my husband for four months, but we'd been best friends for five years. However, it was only a year ago that we had started going out together. It was a decision that neither of us regretted. We moved in together nine months ago, found out that I was pregnant seven-and-a-half months ago, got engaged six months ago, and got married four months ago. With Tia's birth added on, it had been a whirlwind relationship and a lot had changed for us.

Our family situation wasn't the only thing that had changed for us. Work had changed quite a bit as well. Ranger was the sole owner of Rangeman, a private security company that did all things security-wise. With seven locations and over fourteen hundred employees, it was a small but growing player in the security field. We had clients ranging from a variety of the alphabet agencies, multinational corporations and Mom-and-Pop businesses. We did everything from looking after security needs to private investigation to cybersecurity to research. The last function was in my wheelhouse. I was the Research Director. We were responsible for conducting background checks for a number of bond offices, policing organizations, real estate offices and real estate lawyers, and a mutual fund company, in addition to our own in-house needs. We created capture plans for various bond offices and policing organizations as well.

Creating capture plans was my area of specialty. I had been creating them for the past five years. Before I was a researcher in Ranger's company, I was a bounty hunter and, since I liked my job as a bounty hunter, when I went back to work I would be chasing skips one day a week and doing research for the remaining four days. No matter how much I liked being a mother, I was looking forward to getting back.

I got a lot of personal return from working outside the house. I had been off work for the last ten weeks of my pregnancy because I had preeclampsia, a condition characterized by high blood pressure, protein in the urine and swelling in the hands and face, and this meant that I was put on complete bed rest. Being off work had just about killed me.

I'd had a traumatic pregnancy. When I was just over two months pregnant, someone tried to kidnap me. I fought back but, while I was fighting back, I was kicked in the stomach and almost lost the baby. Three weeks after that, I was shot twice. Luckily I was wearing a bulletproof jacket and only had a couple of broken ribs and bone bruises, but being shot made an impression on both Ranger and me. Ranger had seen both times when I was shot and he developed PTSD. His anxiety levels went through the roof and, when my bodyguard was shot in January – luckily not fatally – and my hand was stabbed in February and I was abducted and locked in a freezer in March, he couldn't cope. He started seeing the corporate psychiatrist for talk therapy and that had been a great thing. He was traditionally calm and collected, and was the strongest person I knew, but when he was suffering from nightmares and having panic attacks he started losing his Zen. He began seeing Gabriel last January, and since then he had regained his calm and found his peace again.

I also had problems after being shot, but while Ranger became anxious, I became depressed. I began to believe that I would be a terrible mother and the danger that I was periodically in seemed to prove to me that I was worthless. I felt guilty to be putting our baby's life in danger. I wished that the bullets had killed me and the lone reason I thought that I had been spared, the sole mission I thought I had to do before I died, was to deliver Tia. I was barely keeping my head above water, and the only thing that was keeping me going was pride in doing a good job at work.

And then I was put on complete bed rest, and I no longer had work to prop me up. It didn't help that the sibling rivalry between my sister Val and me was strong and she was constantly taking pot shots at me to try to take the award for best mother and wife. Already feeling like I was worthless, her venomous comments ate away at my self-confidence. Add in my grandmother's propensity to create stories about me, and I felt like a laughingstock that had no value to offer to anyone. Despite starting therapy, my mood continued to plummet.

It bottomed out after Tia was born. Just hours old, she had been kidnapped from the hospital nursery and it had taken us several hours to get her back. Like Ranger, I had been devastated. But while it made Ranger frantic to ensure Tia's and my safety, I reacted by becoming convinced that Tia had been taken as punishment for me being the reject that I was, and I felt that I didn't deserve to have her and that's why God was taking her away from me.

That's when Ranger found out that I had been battling depression as severely as I was. I had been able to hide it until that point, but I broke down when Tia was taken. With his encouragement, I had started taking antidepressants and continued my therapy sessions, and I was slowly putting myself back together again. I was still sad, but it wasn't the crushing black pit of despair it had been. I know. I had been keeping a mood chart, and I no longer was averaging 'stupendously awful', the worst category that I could assign to describe my moods. Now, three weeks after I had started medication, my average mood was 'terrible', the second worst category of moods – but I was getting breakthrough moments of happiness. I felt like I had hope again, and that was a good thing. It would still take another three weeks before the medication kicked in fully, but I could see that it was working and I was starting to feel like me again. It was a good feeling.

Ranger would always be a little more worried about my safety and the safety of his kids than most men. Ranger was a US Army Ranger for ten years and during that time had conducted a number of high-security missions. I didn't know what they were. Ranger wasn't allowed to talk about them, and I respected that. I did know, however, that he was on the retrieval and transport team of Osama bin Laden when he was taken from his point of death to the US ship that buried him at sea. The al-Qaeda weren't happy with the team that did that, and they had targeted every member. When a few of his team members were assassinated, Ranger retired from the army and asked the government to develop an alternate identity for him like one that would have been created for someone in WITSEC or for a CIA operative. With that, Ricardo Carlos Manoso, known to family and friends as Carlos, decorated soldier and former team lead, was registered as dead, and Ricardo Carlos Manoso, known to family as Ricky and to friends as Ranger, college graduate from a business program at Douglass College, was born. The only things that stayed the same for him were his family connections – but even with his family connections, few people knew that he was the same person as his parents' child. Most people thought he was a cousin who just looked a lot like Carlos. Everything else had changed, from his social security number to his place of business.

When Ranger left the army, he not only started Rangeman, but he also started PMC – a company of mercenaries that were comprised of the best of the best soldiers in the world. They had teams working throughout a number of locations around the globe but Ranger, with his Hispanic looks and fluency in Spanish, was a natural in working in the War on Drugs. As the preeminent leader of teams into enemy territory, he had shut down drug operations in Central and South America for three years before it became too dangerous for him to continue. Not wanting to leave PMC, he took a training job and did that for two years before retiring the past January. He was now only an owner and an active member of the Board of Directors. He was happy. PMC was paid well for their efforts. Consequently, his dividend checks from the company paid his salary and didn't require much time or effort.

However, between his missions with PMC and his missions with the army, he was afraid that he would be targeted and eliminated and, more importantly, that I would be targeted and eliminated. To try to stop that from happening, he had tried to hide his existence as much as possible. We lived in the Rangeman office building. We drove company cars. We used company phones. Our internet service was offered through the company as well. His army pension was paid to the company and was classed as the purchase of security services. So were the dividend checks from PMC. He had done whatever he could to hide himself and where he was. Short of facial recognition, it would be very difficult to find him.

Ranger and I tried to hide the fact that we were together as well. I still maintained my old apartment as my official address. I didn't change my name when we got married and, in fact, we didn't even technically get married either. We had a commitment ceremony which meant that we got married in the eyes of God but not in the eyes of the state. Tia's last name was Plum and we elected not to list Ranger as the father on the birth certificate.

To further increase our security, Ranger put trackers in my purse, my phone, my car and my watch. My watch also had a panic button that, if I pressed it, would summon an emergency response team from Rangeman. With ten former special-ops soldiers, the team consisted of a bomb expert, a munitions expert, a medic, a communications expert, a sniper, and other specialties. The ERTs were qualified to do everything from attacks to extractions to eliminations to hostage negotiations. Unfortunately, I'd had a need to use their services several times since Ranger had given the watch to me a year ago. Every time I used that emergency function, Ranger became even more thankful that I had that option.

Ranger had a similar watch, as did his Executive Vice-President, Tank. Neither of them had ever had to use their panic buttons though. With having Tia, we wouldn't be able to give her a watch, so we were giving one to her nanny, Amelia. Amelia was a trained bodyguard who had an interest in childcare. She was doing her degree as an Early Childhood Educator and had been doing well in the courses, and she was greatly looking forward to working more closely with Tia. Amelia had selected her favorite style of watch, and it was currently being adapted to have the security features we wanted.

It was our intent to give Julie a watch as well. Julie was a mature thirteen-year old, and we felt very strongly that she could handle the responsibility of having the watch and respecting everything it could do. We had already picked out a sports watch for her, and it was also in the process of being adapted.

We thought Julie would especially appreciate the safety features. Two years ago she had been kidnapped by someone wanting to take over Ranger's identity. The man had kidnapped Julie and kidnapped me in an effort to create the perfect family. Julie ended up fatally shooting the man and had to go through therapy for a few weeks afterwards. When Tia was kidnapped recently, Julie's mother had reported that Julie was suffering from nightmares and panic attacks again. We had signed her up for some sessions with the corporate psychologist that I was seeing for extra support. Personally, I thought it would do her good to be able to see Tia and absorb that she was safe and unharmed.

After Julie had been kidnapped, she had legally changed her name to that of her stepfather. It was a change that Ranger had suggested to Rachel, her mother. While Julie hadn't wanted to change her name, she understood the reason why. Instead of Julie Elena Manoso, she was now Julie Elena Stone. As Ranger had told her, it didn't matter what her name was. She would still be his daughter, and he would always take care of her.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up from my nap when Julie and Ranger walked in the door. I had been particularly tired lately and was glad they had hit traffic on the way home. Ranger said that I was tired because Tia liked to be fed every two hours, and she was quite insistent about it. I didn't know if that was it. I was still sleeping eight hours at night and having a two-hour nap during the day. Ranger also said breastfeeding made me more tired. However, Livy – the psychologist – told me that part of it was probably being depressed as well. I could only hope that, if it was caused by the depression, that it would disappear as my mood improved.

Tia was a good baby and luckily didn't seem to suffer from colic at all. She cried when she was hungry and she cried with her diaper was wet and she cried when she was overtired or overstimulated. But generally she was a happy baby and often would settle easily. My favorite way of settling her, of course, was to lie down with a bare chest and have her lie on me, skin-to-skin. I think I found it just as comforting as Tia did. It worked to have her lie on Ranger's chest just as much as it worked on mine – but then, I understood that. I liked lying skin-on-skin with Ranger as well.

Of course, being physically tired and feeling hopeless and emotionally fatigued and easily overwhelmed weren't the only symptoms of depression that I had. I also – surprisingly – had been turned off food. I had traditionally been a stress eater, but the last two months I hadn't been interested in food at all. Of course, I wasn't interested in much.

It was just as well that I wasn't interested in food. I had been very quickly been able to lose quite a bit of my pregnancy weight. I had gained forty-two pounds during my pregnancy and had already lost ten of them. A lot of that might have been the fact that I was no longer retaining water. Or it might be because I was no longer carrying the baby. Whatever the reason, I was thrilled. I had wanted to gain no more than thirty pounds in the first place, and I had felt like a failure when I did.

Ranger had told me that I shouldn't worry about the weight gain. He had told me that I was eating healthy foods in healthy amounts, and if I gained weight it was solely because of the preeclampsia. After all, as he had said, it wasn't like I was eating gravy at every meal and for snacks in-between. That's what my sister did with all five of her pregnancies, and she was still losing the weight from her last baby. She had gained eighty pounds, and considering that she hadn't lost all the weight from her previous pregnancies, she still had a bit to go. She said it was thirty pounds, but I didn't believe her. Personally, I suspected that she would never get down to her pre-baby size. That made sense though. That was five pregnancies where her body was stretched out to the max, and it seemed impossible that so much extra skin would just shrink again. She had developed a kangaroo paunch.

I wanted to lose my pregnancy weight quickly – not only because I wanted to show Val up but because I didn't like being bigger. It made me feel icky. With Ranger's encouragement, I had started working with the trainer a week ago. I went three times a week for gentle exercises meant to help me regain my shape. I wasn't doing cardio yet, and hopefully I wouldn't have to. I hated cardio. But I would consider it a success if I could get back into my old clothes within the next three months. Ranger told me to give it six months, but I've always been an overachiever…or, at least, I set overachiever goals. I didn't often achieve those goals, but I did like to set them.

I sat up and pulled my t-shirt on, quickly dressed Tia in her sleeper, and walked out to the kitchen with a smile on my face. "Hey, sweetie", I said. "How are you?"

Julie ran over to me and threw her arms around me. "How are you?" she said. "Dad said that you haven't been feeling good."

"I'm getting better, and it's giving me a huge boost having you here. I have been looking forward to you coming. Would you like to meet your sister?"

Julie grinned as she looked at Tia. "She's so little", she said. "Barbie dolls are bigger than her."

I laughed and led her into the living room. I waited until Julie sat down and, when she had, I placed Tia in her arms.

"She's light", she said.

"She weighs about the same as four blocks of butter", I said. "She's just tiny."

"My mom will love her when she comes in another two weeks." Rachel and Ranger had an oopsie pregnancy with Julie. Ranger had been on leave and Rachel discovered that she was pregnant just around the same time that Ranger was ready to say goodbye. He decided the best thing that he could do would be to marry Rachel and get her and the baby covered under his benefit plan. He then left on tour. He came back for a month when Julie was born, but then he went away again and, when he returned, he and Rachel decided to file for divorce. Despite their decision to not continue with the marriage, they took co-parenting seriously and had become good friends over the years. Since marrying Ranger, I had also become good friends with Rachel and her new husband, Ron. I talked to Rachel two or three times a week, and I felt blessed that she was in my life. She was a good person.

We'd been providing a bit of support to each other as well. Rachel also was suffering from depression and had started seeing a therapist around the same time as I did. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who was going through the same thing. Rachel said that she now knew that she had been suffering from it ever since Julie had been kidnapped two years ago. I was thankful that she was finally getting treatment for it, and was glad that she felt like she was responding to her treatment well.

Rachel and Ron were planning to visit Europe for a few weeks this summer, and would be leaving for England from Newark on the third of July, and coming back to Newark from Italy on the thirteenth of August. They had booked three days on either side of their holiday to spend with us. I was looking forward to that as well.

"Your mom said that she loves babies."

Julie smiled. "She adores babies. She's the kind of person that has to go and talk to every baby in the store when we're shopping, and babies love her. They make her happy. She has been so excited about you expecting. She would have done well with having more babies, but she said that after me she was unable to get pregnant. I would have liked siblings."

I smiled. "You have one now."

Julie smiled. "I was so excited to see Tia that I couldn't sleep last night."

I grinned at her. "And here I thought it was excitement over seeing me again."

Julie laughed. "That goes without saying."

Tia yawned and started to root her face against Julie's chest. "Oh oh", I said. "She's starting to get hungry."

"Can I change her diaper?"

"Sure. Come on. A little later we can give her a bath together as well."

Julie grinned again.

"Did you bring a bikini?"

"I did. Why? Did you want to go swimming?"

"No. Tia settles best when she lies on your chest, skin on skin, and I always give her some time like that after I feed her. Normally she lies on me or she lies in your dad. But I was thinking that it would be a good idea this time to have her lie on top of you. It's quite nice."

"That sounds awesome."

"Have you already called your mom to tell her that you arrived safe and sound?"

"We called from the car. I didn't want to have to stop when we got here."

I laughed. "Go change into your bikini top, and I'll wait until you come out to change her."

Julie hustled into her room as Ranger came up to me. "I didn't get a chance to say hello", he said. He kissed Tia on the top of her head before kissing me on my lips. "Hello", he said quietly against my lips. He kissed me again.

I smiled. "Hello."

"Did you have a good sleep while I was gone?"

"Yes. I fed Tia once and we slept together the rest of the time. She's been a sleepy peanut today." Ranger and I had started calling her peanut after seeing her on our first ultrasound. At the time, she didn't have arms or legs and in fact had looked like a peanut. My grandmother was horrified and told me that, if I continued to call her something that was a food, she would call Tia the name of her favorite food as well. I wasn't as fond of that idea. Her favorite food was casu marzu, otherwise known as maggot cheese. I didn't think she'd ever tried it, but she liked the way the name sounded.

Ranger smiled. "We're lucky that she's a sleeper", he said. "She takes after you, and I am very glad about that."

"Were you a bad sleeper?" I said to Ranger. "I can imagine that you would have liked to be very active."

"I was, and like I don't need much sleep now I also didn't need much sleep then. My parents were beside themselves apparently."

Julie came out of the bedroom wearing a bikini top and a pair of running shorts. "I didn't need much sleep either, did I, Dad?" she said.

Ranger smiled. "No, pipsqueak, you didn't. You cried an awful lot. You came into this world demanding to be heard, and hear you we did. I think, in actuality, the whole neighborhood heard you. You had a very strong set of lungs on you."

Julie laughed.

"I was thinking that, if you were up for it, after Steph feeds Tia and after she has some tummy time with you, you and I could take Tia for a run. Steph could have a nap or could have a bubble bath or do something for herself."

"Don't you have to work, Dad?"

"I can't take the whole summer off, but because I wanted to be here with you at least for the first few days that you were here, I have arranged to take the next week off. Steph and I thought that would allow us to establish a pattern that works for us and it will give me some time with you before I have to go back to work. I've been looking forward to hanging out, maybe do a little running, maybe do a little cooking, do whatever. I'm open to suggestions."

Julie grinned. "That's awesome!"


	3. Chapter 3

Julie showed off her diapering skills – which she was excellent at. She said that Rachel had bought a doll from the thrift store and they'd been practicing at home – she learned how to burp Tia, and she was fascinated with the tummy time. She counted fingers and toes while Tia was lying on her, and she rhythmically brushed the peach fuzz on Tia's head in a soothing pattern. She murmured words of love to her, and I smiled at seeing her bond with her sister like that.

After a bit, Julie turned quiet. She kissed Tia on the top of her head. "Do you think", she said after a few quiet moments, "that Tia will remember being kidnapped?"

"No, I don't", I said. "She's luckier than you that way."

"Unluckier too, though. I was never in danger of dying."

"No, but emotional challenges are just as difficult as physical challenges to overcome. Your mom said that you're having nightmares again?"

Julie made a face. "I am. I get so frustrated with myself. I know that Tia is okay, but I wake up terrified anyway."

"I understand that", I said. "Your dad and I have a lot of nightmares as well."

Julie looked at me in shock. "Dad suffers from nightmares?"

"Yes, he does. Between you getting kidnapped two years ago and now Tia getting kidnapped, he's been struggling – and that's okay. It just means he cares deeply about you two and it upsets him to think that something has happened to you and that you were in danger."

"Did he have nightmares after that guy was stalking me in February?" Julie had met someone online that she thought was a fifteen-year old boy. It turned out that he was a twenty-nine year old who had been taking naked pictures of Julie through her window and threatening her. We researched him and found out that, not only was he a pedophile, but he also was a drug smuggler in the US with diplomatic immunity. We were able to get him deported back to his home country of Honduras and charged there for his actions. The last we heard, the Honduran government had made an example of him and put him in prison for many, many years.

"Yes, he did. He had been terrified of what could have happened, and he was very upset."

"He didn't seem upset."

"That's why he's good at his job. He represses his feelings and doesn't get upset at the time so that he can deal with whatever threat is in front of him. However, after the fact, he breaks down and deals with his emotions. It's all going to come out at some point, and for him, it comes out after the fact. At least it comes out though. It would be bad if he never dealt with his emotions."

She thought about that for a moment, then asked hesitantly, "does he get help with his nightmares?"

"Yes, he does. He sees a therapist once a week to help him deal with things. He says that Gabriel is an incredibly helpful person."

She looked up at me in shock. "Wow. I had been feeling embarrassed that I had to see a therapist."

"There's nothing embarrassing about it. I think it is smart to see someone if you have tangled-up thoughts and emotions and it's especially smart if you are suffering from nightmares. No one deserves to feel bad. I see a therapist as well, and she's great. She's been helping me sort through all my feelings and is one of the reasons that I am getting better. In fact, your dad and I were wondering if you wanted to see the same therapist that I see. She's very nice. In case you do, we booked a few sessions for you. We can cancel them if you don't want them, but your dad and I feel very strongly that you don't deserve to live with nightmares."

She stared at me. "Both you and dad see a therapist?"

"Yes. A lot of people here at Rangeman do. A lot of people at Rangeman, like you, have lived and survived difficult situations. To get through those situations and not break down at the time, you tend to hide your emotions. You did that when you were kidnapped. You, like your dad, were calm and able to deal with the situation. You repressed your emotions. But after the fact, if you don't deal with them you can become sick. That's what I did in December when I was shot, and I became sick as a result. I've learned that it's important to deal with your emotions. Some people think seeing a therapist makes them weak, and that is the total opposite to what you dad thinks. Your dad feels that the strongest person is the person who can stand up and say that they are having problems, that they don't deserve to suffer, and that they are willing to put the work into recovering. That's why he has two therapists on staff. He's making a statement that it's okay to talk about your feelings and, because he feels so strongly about it, when he started having nightmares he started seeing one of those therapists."

"You really see me as being similar to dad?" She looked hopeful. I knew that she had a lot of respect for her father, and that she loved him. But seeing the expression on her face showed me just how much. I was happy for Ranger. He deserved that kind of idolization.

"You and your dad are two peas in a pod. You both are able to concentrate to get the job done, and you are able to react logically and swiftly in a bad situation. You are both incredibly smart and analytical, and are able to see your way through problems. You are both very strong people. I don't mean physically, although you are incredibly strong that way as well. I mean emotionally and mentally strong. You are both extremely protective and have a good sense of right and wrong, and you care more about people and their welfare than almost anyone else I have ever met. You are both the best people I know."

Julie looked at me in shock. "That's really how you see me?"

"Definitely. Like I am grateful that your father married me, I am grateful that you are in my life. I'm proud of you, sweetie."

Ranger came through from the kitchen. He had been making some spaghetti sauce from scratch, and he wanted to let it simmer while he and Julie were out for a run. He said the flavors would meld better, or something like that.

Personally, I didn't know what he meant. I was the world's worst cook. Before I was married, if I wanted to eat something edible that didn't come from the frozen section of the grocery store – or one of the neighborhood takeout restaurants – I had to go to my mother's for dinner. My mother was a good cook and I relied heavily on handouts. Even better, when I went to my parents', my mother would often send me home with a care package of leftovers so that I didn't have to cook for the next couple of nights. It was a good system that ensured that I ate well despite being culinary-challenged.

In fact, my claim to fame, my gastronomic masterpiece, was a peanut butter and olive sandwich. However, when I was pregnant I had tried to eat them and each time had thrown them up again. Now that I had delivered Tia, I didn't know if I could eat them again. Of course, I hadn't wanted to. Every time I thought about it my immediate thought was of the stomach upset and subsequent violent upchucking that I had done and my stomach would turn again in memory. I hoped that I would be able to eat them again in the future. They used to be my favorite food.

"Are you ready to go for a run?" said Ranger.

I made a face. "Not me", I said.

Ranger laughed. "I figured that. Soon, babe, I'll get you back on the treadmill."

"Oh, goody", I said.

Ranger laughed again at the lack of enthusiasm in my voice. Unlike Ranger, I hated exercise and had to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into the gym. I didn't mind the floor exercises that the trainer, Miles, had me doing. They didn't require me to get red-faced and sweaty. They were simple strength-building exercises designed to help me get back in shape quickly. In fact, while I did them three times a week with Miles, I did them the other four days a week by myself. The program was half an hour long. Miles said that, as I recover more fully from the birth, he would get me up on the treadmill to go for a half-hour jog each day. I could hardly wait. Not.

Before I was pregnant, Ranger would train me in self-defense and, while he was at it, he would require me to run on the treadmill for fifteen minutes. I hated the running portion of the workout and the first time he required it I almost walked out of the gym. The only reason I stayed was because he bribed me with chocolate cake. Ranger didn't believe in dessert and refused to serve it at meals, so being bribed with dessert was a great incentive. After that first day, we set a pattern. For every fifteen minutes I did cardio, I got dessert. I don't know what would have happened if I had done cardio for half an hour. I didn't bother asking. Quite frankly, no amount of dessert would have made it worth it.

When I became pregnant, however, my breasts started to grow and they became more sensitive. Running on the treadmill became painful and so Ranger gave me a bye. I thought it was one of the better parts of being pregnant. However, to be honest, that sensitivity – while uncomfortable in the gym – had been great in the bedroom.

"Just let me get changed", said Julie. "I can't go running in my bikini top, and I want to put my hair back in a ponytail."

I took Tia from her chest and carried her into the nursery. "What's the weather like outside?" I said. With it being only the second week of June, the weather could be anything from cool to hot. I mean, I could see that it was sunny out, but I didn't know what the temperature was.

"It's fairly warm", said Ranger. "I'd dress Tia in a onesie and then swaddle her in her special blanket that Connie made her. That should be plenty warm enough." Connie was a friend of mine that I had worked with at the bonds office. She had knit Tia a special swaddling blanket that allowed you to swaddle the top of the baby while the bottom of the blanket was a set of legs like that would be found in a sleeper. This special blanket allowed the baby to be swaddled but still be strapped into a stroller or a car seat. Tia loved hers, and we used it nearly every day. Since Tia was still technically a preemie, she still didn't have the fat that term babies had stored under their skin. She needed to be kept a little warmer than a typical baby would need to be kept. "We'll also take the stroller cover and put it over her to protect her from the sun."

I nodded and, after I had put some clothes on Tia, I looked around her nursery. The swaddling blanket wasn't the only thing that Connie had made Tia. She had also knit her two crib blankets – a light one for summer and a chunkier one for winter – a lumbar pillow for the rocking chair, and a stuffed lamb. Connie had been very excited that I had been expecting.

The bonds office staff – Connie, Lula and Vinnie – had given me a baby shower after Tia was born. Connie was the office manager, Lula was the former 'ho that was now an inept file clerk and was frequently my backup when I went out to capture skips, and Vinnie was my cousin who was responsible for the office. They invited a few people that I knew well from my work there. Harry the Hammer, former enforcer for the mob and current owner of the bonds office, came. Mistress Melody, high-priced call girl that Vinnie frequently paid to come into the office for a little stress relief, came. Some of my regular skips came. It was the most unusual baby shower that I had ever been at. Connie had given me the knitted items. Lula gave me several boxes of condoms so that I wouldn't get pregnant again too soon. Vinnie, the pervert, gave me several different types of lube as he said that he heard that the juices didn't flow when you were breastfeeding. Mistress Melody gave me a skimpy Merry Widow as she said that, now that I had delivered the baby, I would more likely want to get back in the sack with Ranger. My skips gave me clothes and toys and books and Harry, that violent and fearsome enforcer, gave Tia a stuffed duck that quacked every time you shook it. I had been surprised by his gift. I had expected that, if he gave me anything, it would have been a child-sized hatchet or a small plastic mallet.

I had only taken pictures of Tia to the shower. Her immune system was still not fully developed and, besides appointments and when we were in the hospital, she hadn't been taken out of the house for the first three weeks. Now that she was three weeks old, the doctor told us that it would be safe to expose her to other people. It was only in the last day that Ranger had started running with her outside. Apparently, she took after her father and loved getting the fresh air. Ranger said she had happily watched the scenery flow by her stroller, and had looked entranced at the things around her.

Personally, I could take or leave the outside. I mean, I liked it outside in the fall when it was cool and there was a nip in the air, and you could kick up the leaves as you walked. I liked it in the spring when the sun was warming up and you could see the flowers pushing up through the soil. I didn't even mind it when it was cold, although I particularly hated slush. I always seemed to splash it up my leg so that my pant legs were wet and, when they dried, my hems were white and hard from the road salt that was used to melt the snow and make the slush in the first place. However, I hated, absolutely hated, the heat of summer. Once that thermometer passed eighty I was sweltering and heading for the freezer section of the grocery store. I wasn't made for the heat and was very thankful that I hadn't had to go through the summer months pregnant. It was bad enough being pregnant in the spring.


	4. Chapter 4

While Julie and Ranger and Tia were out of the house, I finished writing the thank you notes for the items I had received at the showers that I had attended. There were a lot to write. First, there were all the ones for the bonds office. Then there were all the ones for the Rangeman staff. Head office here in Trenton had thrown us a baby shower, and in addition to buying us communal presents of a high chair and an exersaucer, they had each bought us some clothes and toys. All I could say was that Tia was a very spoiled little girl. She had toys and clothes to last her until she was three years old. There was approximately a hundred full-time staff who worked out of head office since the other hundred were all offsite security guards, which meant that Tia had about a hundred presents in addition to the communal staff presents. People had been very excited about Tia's birth. There were a lot of thank you notes to write.

I'd bought bins to separate the toys into, and had organized the toys according to the age they were designed for. I'd stacked the bins in the closet, and was glad that the closet was as large as it was. When the closet had been first built, I hadn't known what to do with all the space. I now laughed at my naivety.

I had been working on writing the thank you notes for the last week. It had been an arduous task, and I was glad to finally be finished. As I stamped the last envelope, my mother called. "Hi, Steph", she said. "How are you?"

"Good. You sound stressed. What has Grandma done now?" My grandmother lived with my parents since my grandfather went to the all-you-could-eat buffet in the sky. My father frequently offered to send my grandmother there as well, but so far he hadn't been able to incite her interest.

My grandmother was what you would call a live wire. She was seventy in chronological years and seventeen in maturity – and she seemed to be getting younger over time. She was a flower child of the sixties and she had never really grown out of some of her more out-there ideas. She frequently said that her biggest regret in her life was failing to try all the various drugs that hippies commonly took in the sixties, although after she tried getting high with me on pot a few months ago – she purposely got high while I was collateral damage as I inhaled the fumes – I think it lost the appeal for her.

However, with my grandmother's regressing maturity came a greater desire to get into mischief. She constantly kept my mother hopping and frequently did things that horrified my mother. Privately, I thought that was why my grandmother did them. My grandmother loved to shock people and my mother frequently played into her hands. The only problem was that my grandmother got into trouble just as much as she shocked people. For some reason, she didn't know where the line was that she shouldn't cross. It made for uncomfortable relations at times.

My mother sighed. "I'm okay", she said.

"Uh-hunh."

She sighed again. "It wasn't Grandma this time. This time it was me."

"What happened?"

"A person came to the door the other day and said they were from the City. They said that our drinking water wasn't very good quality and that they were recommending that all residents get a personal water filtration device for their drinking and cooking needs. I thought that signing up for the service was a good idea. After all, we shouldn't be drinking polluted water and, if the City was telling us that it was a good idea to get this purifying filter in the house, then it must be a good thing. So I signed up for the service and paid a deposit of twelve hundred dollars. The company cashed our check and was supposed to come today to install the purifier. However, they didn't come. So I called them, but the number was out of service. I then called the City, and they said that they hadn't sent anyone out on their behalf and there was nothing wrong with the drinking water in Trenton. So now I'm out twelve hundred dollars and have paid for a system that I don't need, and the people who are supposed to be installing the system aren't anywhere to be found. I hate to ask you this when you are so busy with Tia, and now Julie is there as well. But is there any way you can help?"

"Sure, Mom. What is the name of the company?"

"The card says Watsmosis Inc, reverse osmosis filtration systems to purify your water. I don't know what that means, but according to the representative it was supposed to be a good system. The person's name that I was dealing with was Ravi Assam. I was very stupid, wasn't I?"

"I don't know, Mom. It was easily done. Unfortunately, you are paying the price. Can you take a picture of the card and send it to me? I'll also need access to your bank account to be able to trace the check, so I'll need your account information. Just send me a picture of a check and I'll take the information from that. Have you contacted the police or the Federal Trade Commission? You need to."

"I did. The Federal Trade Commission took the information on it, but they didn't do anything. It is a reporting service that they use to track different fraud cases so they know when to issue a public alert to warn citizens about the fraud scheme. I contacted the police as well. They said to contact the bank and try to get the money back, but the bank told me that it was too late and the check had been cashed. The police seemed remarkably unhelpful."

"Okay. Leave it with me and I'll talk to Joe, and hopefully we'll be able to come up with some kind of solution for you. You shouldn't be out twelve hundred dollars. That's not right and, additionally, if you are out twelve hundred dollars then other people are out twelve hundred dollars as well. You are a very careful person, so that tells me that the person who came to your door was a very good con artist. There's no shame in falling for it. It just means that he was very good at what he did."

"I still feel stupid."

"I know, but you have to remember that this doesn't reflect on you. This reflects on the asshole that stole from you. This isn't your fault."

My mother sighed. "Thanks, baby girl. I feel a little better."

"Good. This isn't your fault."

"What will you be able to do?"

"First, I'll figure out if this Ravi really exists or whether it is a made-up name. Then I'll trace the check and see where the money has gone. I will create a dossier on the person, and after that is all done, I'll develop a plan on how to capture him so that he can be arrested. When that is complete, I will turn the investigation over to Joe so that he can arrest the person for stealing your money. If they have any further dealings with you, let me know."

"I will. You are very good at what you do, aren't you?"

"I get by", I said. "I have a good team backing me as well."

"I know it didn't take you long to find Uncle Arnie when he came back from the dead." My Great-uncle Arnold had committed insurance fraud and got a signed death certificate proving his death. However, he was still very much alive. My grandmother recognized him walking down the street and asked me to look into the matter. I think she would have been happy to let him stay dead if it weren't for the fact that she didn't like her brother much and was happy to see strife come to his life. The fact that he had committed insurance fraud made her positively gleeful.

"One of my team members looked into Uncle Arnie's death", I said. "I didn't do it personally. But when Miguel produced the report, I took the information to Joe and had him do the arrests." Detective Joseph Morelli was our liaison with the Trenton Police Department. He was also my former boyfriend and current good friend. In fact, after Ranger, he was probably my best friend. When I broke up with him it was with the realization that I still loved him, but I loved him more as a friend and that I wouldn't miss the sexual aspect of our relationship. Not that it wasn't good. It was. It was just much, much better with Ranger. Joe was the kind of man who would make you drop your panties. Ranger was the kind of man who would make your panties burst into flames.

Joe and I had worked at our friendship after we broke up, and now I could say that I was happy with where we were in our lives. I could still count on him to be there for me.

"On another note", I said, "did I tell you that Joe is seeing someone?"

After Ranger and I had gotten together and Joe had seen the kind of relationship we had, he had told me that he wanted the same thing. He had never seen anyone with as good a relationship before, and he said that he now had an example of the kind of relationship that he wanted. When we were in the hospital having Tia, I had become close to one of the nurses there. Tracy was a good person, someone who was dedicated to her patients and improving their lives. Joe had met Tracy when he was visiting me, and he told me the other day that he'd been on a few dates with her. He said that she was a special person and they got along like a house on fire. I didn't know Tracy well, but what I did know of her made me think that she would be a good person for him. They both cared deeply about others, and both were dedicated to helping people however they could. I hoped it worked out for them. Joe deserved the kind of relationship that I had been blessed with.

"No! Do I know the person he's seeing?"

"I don't know if you met her or not. It's Tracy, the nurse who was looking after me in the hospital. She's a good person. She's the nurse who volunteered her time to go with us when we were going after Tia. She wanted to make sure that a nurse trained in obstetrics and infant care would be on hand in case Tia was in dire straits, and the doctor on call said that Tracy's fast actions were likely what made Tia recover as quickly as she did. When Tia was first found", I said. I took a moment to swallow hard. "When Tia was first found, she was dehydrated and starving. She didn't have enough strength to cry, and she was too dehydrated to have tears. Tracy said that her heart rate was slow and her pulse was weak. Before we'd even been able to get on the road, Tracy had run an IV line and was monitoring her condition. I give credit to Tracy for saving Tia's life."

"She sounds like a good person."

"That's my impression."

"I'm glad. Joe is a good person as well. He wasn't the right person for you, but he's a good person. You are still close friends with him, aren't you?"

"After Ranger, he's my best friend. He certainly knows me better than most people, and he still loves me anyway. I have a lot of respect for him, and that respect just went up knowing how he has handled our break-up and my relationship with Ranger. It had to be hard for him. But when I was talking to him yesterday, he sounded happier than I think I have ever heard him. It was nice to hear, and I hope that it continues. He deserves the kind of relationship that I have with Ranger."

"I hope I meet her sometime", said my mother.

"I'm sure you will. Joe said they are doing a lot of just hanging out together. He said they have clicked and they are having fun doing nothing. He said, for the first time, he has bought candles just so that they can have a candlelight dinner, and he bought flowers for her, just because he thought she'd like them. He sounds absolutely smitten."

"Wow. That's great!" She paused. "How is the construction going?" Rangeman had been growing so fast that we were outgrowing our seven-story office tower. Our current tower had four floors of residences, three floors of office and training spaces, and two subfloors of parking space. To help ease the demand for space, Ranger was building another seven-story tower. At double the floor space of our current building, the new building would hold a gym and climbing wall on the first floor, a pool and a hot tub below, six floors of residences above, and parking on the three levels of sub floors. The building was going to be located next to our existing building, and there would be a bridge connecting the two spaces on the third floor.

When the new building was completed, all the residences in the existing building would move over. Staff were happy, as their units were doubling in size and changing from studio apartments to one-bedrooms. Ranger's and my apartment would move over as well. Like the rest of the staff, our apartment would double in size from our current thirty-five hundred square feet to seven thousand. I had trouble imagining a space that large.

Once the residences moved over, Ranger was intending to renovate the existing tower and change it from the current mixture of residences and office spaces to a dedicated office space. The intention was for the first floor to contain all the conference rooms and training rooms, floors two and three to be designated for the Administrative and Support Services, floors four and five to be designated for Operations, the sixth floor to become a staff lounge and cafeteria, and the seventh floor, Ranger's and my current apartment, to become guest quarters for times when we had dignitaries and other security-conscious visitors. With three bedrooms and an office and the ability to sleep ten, it was a good space to provide secure housing for those guests who weren't willing to sacrifice luxury for security.

Staff were greatly looking forward to having the increased space. We were currently tripping over everyone else, and people didn't have enough room to swing a cat. Although, why you'd want to swing a cat, I didn't know. I thought the space they were most looking forward to, however, was the staff lounge. We currently had two small break rooms that were stocked with food 24/7, one on each of the office floors. However, in the office rework the new lounge and cafeteria would be the only place that staff would be able to get meals. This would make it easier for the staff chefs. However, Ranger wanted to make the space a place where people want to go to just hang out with friends. His view was that most of his employees were former military personnel, and often when vets leave the military they are dealing with a number of mental health issues. Those issues frequently resulted in people becoming isolated. In addition to the corporate psychiatrist and psychologist that he had on staff, he was furnishing the lounge with televisions and gaming systems, a couple of pool tables, and several comfortable leather sofas and chairs arranged to encourage people to socialize.

We had broken ground on the new building in March and now, two-and-a-half months later, the basement was in and they were building the steel framing for the rest of the building. "The building is going to be awesome", I said, "although the footprint seems very large. While it makes sense with the different apartments on the staff floors, the amount of space that Ranger's and my apartment will be is overwhelming. Our apartment is going to be huge."


	5. Chapter 5

"I had always wanted you girls to have large houses. Our house, at times, felt very small. I don't know how Val does it." My sister, Val, had five kids, three of which were under the age of three. She lived in a small three-bedroom, one-bath house close to my parents'.

"How is Val doing?"

"I don't know. She's taken on more shifts at the clothing store, and when I see her she looks like she hasn't slept in days. I think she's really struggling." Val had been struck by the green-eyed monster after Ranger and I got engaged. Apparently the crush that she'd had on Ranger a few years before hadn't gone away when she married her husband. Albert was a very nice man. He was kind and considerate and you couldn't find someone who tried harder or cared more about others than him. However, he wasn't successful. He was an ambulance-chaser and not a very good one. Val had thought that she was marrying a good provider just because he was a lawyer. However, Albert's failure to ever win a case repelled a lot of potential clients, and he barely brought in enough money to keep a roof over their heads. Val had recently gone back to work and she was resentful of the fact that Ranger earned enough money to pay for a cleaner and, if I had wanted it, for me to stay at home with Tia. Since I didn't want to stay at home, she was resentful that Ranger earned enough money to hire a great nanny for Tia.

For the last six months, Val had been pumping up her own self-esteem by denigrating me every chance she saw me. She particularly liked to tell me that I was a reject, that Ranger would never stick around for a loser for me, that I was an unnatural mother and a failure of a wife, and that I would never be able to care successfully for a child. With me fighting depression at the same time, it was the final straw on our relationship. I loved her and I cared about her. I just didn't want to be hurt by her any longer.

For the last ten weeks of my pregnancy, I basically didn't talk to her. I kept in touch with what was going on in her life through my mother, but only once saw her for about fifteen minutes, and that was a good thing. However, when Val and Albert brought their kids to the hospital to meet their new cousin, she again started criticizing me – and she pushed Ranger a bit too far. By that point he realized that I was depressed and unable to stick up for myself, and he could see the impact of her hurtful words on me. He blew up. He told her that he was sorry she was unhappy in all aspects of her life, but she had no right to disparage me. He said that she needed to be more supportive.

Albert had been crushed to hear that Val was unhappy, and he moved out of the house the next day. He was currently living with his parents. Val had tried to reinitiate their marriage a few times, but Albert had refused. He was too hurt to try the marriage again.

While I felt bad for Albert, the not-nice part of me that was glad that Val was suffering. When we were kids, everything went Val's way without her even seeming to try. She had the perfect life. She was the head of the cheerleading team. She graduated at the top of the class and won a scholarship to college. At college she met the perfect man and had the perfect wedding. She moved out to California and had two perfect children. It wasn't until her perfect husband had an affair with her perfect babysitter that she ever ran into any challenges.

In comparison, my life wasn't perfect. Not only wasn't I accepted on the cheerleading squad, but I also got thrown off of the baton twirler team. I didn't get a scholarship, no matter how hard I tried, and was grateful to have been accepted to Douglass College. I barely passed college and was just thankful that they didn't attach your marks to your degree. Instead of marrying the perfect husband I married the perfect jackass in a marriage that only lasted three months before I stormed out. I then struggled to keep a roof over my head and food on the table and heels on my feet by working as a lingerie buyer. It sounded sexy when I applied, but instead of buying negligees and garters, I was in charge of buying old lady underwear. After a few years, that job dried up and I was out of work. Down to my last dollar and desperate to find work, I applied at my cousin Vinnie's bail bonds office as a bounty hunter. Vinnie didn't think I could do the job, but some well-heard gossip allowed me to blackmail myself into the role. And that was when my life really changed around for me. Through my work, I met Ranger and asked him to mentor me. I supported myself and got caught up on my bills. I had a job that I mostly enjoyed. Life was good.

When I'd been turfed from the baton twirler's club, I had been upset. I had thought that I was a failure. After all, Val was the head of the cheerleading squad and my parents were very proud of her. I thought I had to follow in Val's footsteps to garner my parents' pride as well. However, my mother took me aside and told me that I didn't have to follow in Val's footsteps. She said that I could forge my own path, and that would be okay. She told me that I was valuable just for being the person I was. It was a bit of a crock, because my mother was constantly telling me all about Val's successes and I constantly thought she was comparing us. But at the time, what my mother said meant a lot to me.

Because of what my mother said, I gave up on following in Val's footsteps. I figured I'd never be as good as her, so why try? It always burned me when someone told me how successful she was and then asked me what I was accomplishing in my life, but I was happier when I accepted that I was a failure and moved on.

But although I made a conscious decision not to follow in Val's footsteps and to become my own woman, I still thought of myself as being substandard. Saint Valerie had it all, whereas I didn't have anything – and she deserved everything she had, whereas I was getting just what I deserved. Nothing.

When the roles reversed four years ago, though, I had to admit that I felt a bit of a vindictive glee that she was starting to understand what I had been going through for most of my life. It was petty of me, I know, but I couldn't help my feelings. And now, when Albert had left her after she tore me down with telling me that I was an unnatural mother and a substandard wife? Let me just say, karma is a bitch.

I remember when I was very young, about six, and I was at school with the other kids. I made fun of another kid for having bubblegum pink shoes. I thought they were ugly. When I got home from school, guess what my mother had bought me? Yup, I learned about karma at an early age. It was the only time that I ever made fun of another person like that. I had learned my lesson.

"That's got to be tough. Have you seen Albert at all?" I said.

"No, but I heard through the grapevine that he got another job. Apparently his father took him on as a paralegal in his office." While Albert wasn't a very good lawyer, his father was one of the top lawyers in the city. "Albert apparently will be making more as a paralegal in his father's firm than he did as a lawyer in his own, plus he won't have the expense of maintaining his own office."

"That's probably a good job for him. I think he will do well without the pressure of owning his own business. I think the last few years have been hard on him."

"I think they have as well. I feel bad for him. He is such a good person."

"Yes, he is. I hope things go well for him in working for his father's firm. So if Val is working more days a week, are you babysitting more?"

"No. She works both days on the weekend, which Albert covers, and four days during the week. I try to help out as much as I can. In addition to looking after the kids, I do their laundry and ironing." My mother loved doing laundry and, even more, enjoyed doing the ironing. When things went wrong in life, my mother resorted to ironing to soothe herself. She said the repetitive and meditative nature of ironing helped ease the worries away. Traditionally, she had ironed a lot for me. Whenever something went wrong in my life – and there were a lot of things that went wrong – my mother would turn to her drug of choice, ironing, and press her worries away. She always knew that I would have a doozy of a story when I brought my laundry to her to be done. I thought it was the least that I could do. There were times when I'd even caught her ironing underwear and, because it wasn't always clean, it was a disaster.

"I'm sure that Val appreciates it. You're a great mom."

I could hear my mother smile. "I don't know if I'm such a great mom, but I'm worried about Val. She has always been so serene, and she's now biting at the kids, and looks like she's on the verge of a panic attack. She's so desperately unhappy without Albert. Being a single mother was never in her life plan, and you know how rigid she is in her approach to life. She's having trouble rolling with the punches."

"You're right. She is rigid."

"She doesn't have your resiliency. When life pushes you down, you get up, dust yourself off and try again, and you continue to do that until things go your way. You never give up. Val is a different person." She paused. "I'm sorry. I was comparing you two again, wasn't I?" About three months before, my mom and I had a conversation when I told her that she had to stop comparing the two of us and I talked about how the comparisons had negatively affected my life. My mother hadn't even realized that she was doing it. Since then she'd made a concerted effort to stop comparing us. She was starting to catch herself now. I was pleased. She was trying so hard, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

"Yes, but you're getting a lot better at not doing that. By not comparing us, it will make things easier for Val. She will always compare herself to me just because she is highly competitive and it's in her nature. However, it will be reassuring to her for you to not compare the two of us. She will still feel accepted and loved, and I know that you love us very much. She'll be okay. She might not be living the life that she had planned, but she'll learn that she's living a good life anyway."

"Do you think that Val and Albert will ever get back together?"

"I don't know. Albert was pulverized when he heard that he was making Val unhappy and it came on the heels of Val comparing Albert to Ranger to his face. She made him feel worthless and as though he would never be good enough. Meanwhile, Albert built up Val and treated her as though she was the most valuable person in the world. I think she now understands how good she had it. I'm not sure if that realization has come too late or not. That's something that they have to work out. I hope they can salvage a relationship together. I think Albert provides emotionally what Val needs in a relationship. Maybe not financially, but emotionally he does. She needs someone to treat her like a queen, and that's how Albert treats her. However, Val needs to learn how to provide emotionally what Albert needs. She needs to learn how to work together with him. She needs to learn how to be a partner. Personally, I think this break from Albert will do more for teaching her not to take him for granted than anything else and, if they do decide to try again, it will strengthen their marriage."

"I like Albert."

"So do I. He tries so hard to help people and to do the right thing. He's an optimistic and happy person, and he's a nice person to be around."

"He's just awkward."

"Yes, but there is nothing wrong with being awkward. The most important point is that he's a good person. I'd rather be with an awkward good person than a smooth bad one."

"Like the guy who sold me that water filtration system."

"Yes. If you can send me that information, I'll start looking for the guy as soon as I can."

"Okay. I should go. I just heard the television show end, and Lisa will soon want a snack."

"Give the kids a hug for me, and I'll get back to you."

"Is Julie there now?"

"She and Tia went out for a run with their dad. They should be back soon."

"Give them a hug for me, and maybe you can come for dinner soon."

"That sounds good, Mom." There was a sound at the door, and Julie, Ranger and a crying Tia came in. "I have to go", I said. "Everyone is home." I said goodbye to my mother and turned to Ranger. I took Tia from his arms.

"I think she's hungry", he said, "and Julie and I were thinking that we'd go into the gym for an hour to do some self-defense practice now that our muscles are warmed up."

I kissed him on his cheek. "How long has she been crying?"

"For about the last five minutes", said Ranger. "So she is really hungry."

I smiled. "Impatient little peanut", I said.

Ranger smiled. "Do you mind if Julie and I head to the gym?"

"Not at all", I said. "Have fun." I turned to Julie. "Don't beat up your dad too much. He's getting to be an old man."

Julie laughed as Ranger made a face. "I'm only a few months older than you", he said.

I laughed. "But the key is you're older. Besides, some days I feel positively moldy."

Ranger gave me a kiss. "You'll always be young and sexy in my eyes."

"Euww. Sweaty kisses", I said.

"Euww. Kisses", said Julie with a grin.

I laughed again.


	6. Chapter 6

I took Tia out of her swaddling outfit and her onesie, changed her diaper, and carried her into the master bedroom. I whipped off my top, lay down on my side, undid my bra, and let Tia latch on. She sucked deeply. It always amazed me that she could suck as hard as she could. Her mouth was so little, and I figured that it must be hard to get that much of my breast into her mouth. I was just glad that she had learned how to breastfeed as quickly as she had. The hospital had wanted her to be comfortable breastfeeding before she was discharged. Ranger said she took after me and enjoyed her food.

She popped off my breast, satiated, several moments later. I sat up and burped her, then rolled over to my other side to see if she wanted more food. She didn't. I wasn't surprised. She had a tiny tummy and didn't yet need both breasts to fill her up. I cuddled her into me, skin on skin, and she quickly went to sleep. So did I, but I woke up about three-quarters of an hour later when Ranger and Julie walked back into the apartment. "I call first shower", said Julie as she ran into her bedroom. I could hear Ranger laugh as he walked through to see me.

"Did you have a good time?" I said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Ranger grinned. "It was awesome! Julie is in such good shape that she's a fabulous running partner, and she's been working hard at her self-defense lessons. She said that she'd like to come out to the lesson that I teach every Monday." At the beginning of the year, Ranger had been working over a hundred hours a week. When he started working with the psychiatrist, the doctor showed him that he was in real danger of burning out. He encouraged Ranger to do some things for himself and challenged him to work less. It had been a bit of a struggle at first, but Ranger had developed the position of Executive Vice-President and had promoted his best friend and right-hand man into the role. He had added more layers in the organization and hired more senior staff to do the tasks that he had traditionally done. He had concentrated on working less and resting more. He had added things into his life that he enjoyed and now he was down to working fifty hours a week. He was cooking more and taking time to spend with his family. He had also added teaching a self-defense class once a week. I had found that, through it all, he was relaxing in a way that I had never seen him relax before. He was taking time to enjoy life, and he was taking time to catch his breath and just be. I was happy for him. The shift had been desperately needed.

It was nice to see him so content. He was such a good person. He deserved to enjoy his life. He had certainly worked hard for it.

Ranger lifted Tia from the bed and nuzzled her. "I'll put some clothes on her", he said, and he carried her into the nursery as I pulled my top back on. I walked in as I saw him put her back in her onesie. He added a pair of pants and socks, and kissed her again as he carried her to her crib. He laid her on her back, draped a light blanket over her, and smiled as he watched her sleep.

He looked up at me. "She's so beautiful", he said softly. "She reminds me of Julie when Julie was a baby. Julie wasn't as small, but she was still small and equally as precious."

"How big was Julie when she was born?"

"She was six pounds, eleven ounces. So in the actual scheme of things, she was also small. Like Tia, she was a perfect little bundle." He slung his arm around me as we stood there watching Tia, and we both smiled when she started to snore.

A few minutes later, Julie walked out of the master. "Shower's free", she said. She came through to Tia's room and looked down at the baby. I lay my finger over my lips to tell Julie to be quiet, and then I pointed to Tia. Julie listened, and grinned when she heard her sister snoring.

I slung my arm over her shoulders and walked with her to the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" she said. "I'm starving."

Ranger smiled. "I'll have a shower and then we can finish making the spaghetti. The sauce has been simmering for the last few hours, so it is ready to go, and I made a salad when you were having your tummy time with Tia. Perhaps, babe, you could put some water on to boil while I am in the shower? I won't be long."

"Okay", I said. "It seems like an awfully important task for me to do though."

Ranger smiled. "I think you're up to it."

I smiled. I walked into the kitchen and took a pot out of the pot drawer as Ranger left to have his shower. I filled the Dutch oven with cold water and put it on the stove, turned the gas on high, and went to the pantry to get some pasta. I placed the pasta on the counter beside the stove. My contribution to the dinner complete, I walked back to the breakfast bar and sat down. Seconds later, Ranger walked through from the bedroom. His hair was still damp, and he hadn't shaved. He looked good enough to eat, and I guess I was looking at him and drooling. "Three more weeks, babe", said Ranger with a smile.

Three more weeks until we could have sex again? Oh boy.

"Three more weeks to what?" said Julie.

"Three more weeks until I teach Steph how to eat my famous meatballs", said Ranger with a smile.

I laughed.

"Why don't you show her tonight?" said Julie with a confused look.

"That's a good idea", said Ranger.

"I think I'm too tired", I said.

Ranger smiled. "Spoilsport."

I laughed again.

"Who was on the phone when we came in?" said Ranger. I think he wanted to change the subject. Julie looked like she was about to ask questions about the meatballs.

"My mom. She wanted to know when we wanted to come for dinner. She wants to see you again, Jules."

"She's nice. When we go for dinner, will Angie and Mary Alice be there as well?"

"I don't know. You get along with them well, don't you?"

"They're nice. Mary Alice is a little odd with believing that she's a horse." For years now, my niece thought she was a horse. She just recently had come to the realization that she wasn't, and she had been struggling with her identity ever since. I could understand that. When I was a child, I thought I was Wonder Woman. It was a real kick in the pants when I discovered that I wasn't. "I mean", continued Julie, "she neighs and tosses her mane around when you say hello to her."

"You're right, it is a little odd", I said. "She's just realized that she isn't a horse, and she's been very down because of it. Add in that Val and Albert have split up, and things aren't going very well for her."

"Val and Albert split up?" Julie's face wreathed in a smile. "Good. I hope Val is very unhappy." When Val was at our wedding, I ran into her in the bathroom and she proceeded to drunkenly criticize me and tell me that I would never be good enough for Ranger and that I was a failure of a person. Unfortunately, Julie was in a stall and overheard the tirade. She was furious and told her father, and that's how Ranger knew that Val had been attacking me.

Up until that point, I'd been able to keep Val's belittling to myself. I hadn't wanted to let Ranger know. He had a habit of getting back at those who hurt his loved ones, and he did it in such a way that the person would never see it coming. When he found out my ex-husband hit me once, he quietly arranged for him to be arrested for tax evasion. My ex was currently serving a six-year sentence. When he found out that a pedophile was stalking his daughter, he quietly arranged for the man to be deported to his home country of Honduras and sentenced there. So I had been a little nervous as to what he'd do to Val.

At first, Ranger didn't do anything. But when Val attacked me again at the hospital after Tia was born, Ranger pounced. That was when he told her that he was sorry that she was so unhappy and hated where she was in life, but he said that was no excuse to belittle me. It was his comments that had led to Albert leaving Val.

Ranger smiled. "She is", he said. "I know that it is wrong for me to be happy that someone else is having problems, but I hope that Val suffers. She deserves it after spewing forth the crap that she did."

Julie smiled. "Yeah, she does."

Ranger put the dried pasta in the boiling water. "What do you want to drink with dinner?" he said. "Should I pour milk all around?"

"I'll get the glasses", said Julie.

"So what did your mother want?" said Ranger.

"Primarily to chat. She'd just discovered that she had been conned out of twelve hundred dollars, and she was feeling very stupid."

"That's a lot of money. How did she get conned out of it?"

"A man came door-to-door to sell water purification systems and said he was from the City. He had an official looking credentials and everything. My mom figured that, if he was from the City, the system must be a good thing. She paid the deposit and arranged for him to install the system today. The installer never came. She called the number on the business card that he gave her, and the number was out of service. So she called the City, and they said that there was nothing wrong with their water and that they hadn't approved of any water filtration systems. So now she's out twelve hundred dollars and has no water filtration system, and she didn't even need one in the first place. She was feeling very stupid."

"There is no reason for her to feel stupid. The man was just a good con man, that's all. I wonder how many other people he has been able to con."

"I don't know, but I intend to find out."

"You're going to look into it?"

I looked at him and sighed in relief. He seemed to be supporting me in looking into the issue, and I was glad. We'd had a lot of conversations between the two of us recently about how my inability to work through my pregnancy had negatively affected me and shot holes in my self-esteem. My blood pressure wasn't yet back to normal, and Ranger would have been within his rights to demand that I not work on the problem. But he seemed to understand that I needed to look into the problem for both my mother's sake as well as my own. I needed to know that I could still do the work and that I still had value to offer in life.

"Twelve hundred dollars is a lot of money", I said a bit apologetically.

Ranger smiled. "It is. Did you want to look into it after dinner?"

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all. I'm angry on your mother's behalf. Your mother is a nice woman who shouldn't have to deal with something like that."

"Thanks, Ranger." I could see that he knew that I was thanking him for letting me look into my mother's case but, more importantly, I was thanking him for understanding my need for his support.

"How are you going to look into it?" said Julie.

"Rangeman has developed a program called In-Spect. It works like Google and is a search engine, but in addition to searching all the pages on the web for information on a person, it also looks at other sources of information, like the IRS website, different insurance websites, academic websites, banking websites, and so on. By the time the search is finished, I will have a complete history of the person and will have developed a dossier that encompasses criminal, financial, medical, social, academic and professional information. I will then go through that information to both make sure that it is representing the same person that I have been searching up, as well as to make sure I have been able to get all the information that is out there and that the information isn't taken out of context. It's a very powerful search engine and is the cornerstone of our research department."

"Do you normally do research for people that way?"

"We do lots of research that way. We use it to create plans on how to capture criminals for bonds offices and police organizations. We use it to help build cases for the police, and we use it to get information concerning various individuals and corporations on behalf of a number of organizations. It was, in fact, how we were able to investigate your stalker in February." When we had found out that Julie was being stalked, Leo from Cybersecurity traced the Facebook messages that Julie was getting back to the source, and he found out the name of the person stalking her. We then took that information and searched for him and worked with some of Ranger's friends to have him deported and arrested in his home country of Honduras.

"What Steph isn't admitting to is the importance of a good research analyst", said Ranger. "Steph is the best that I have ever seen. She is able to take the information that is presented and research a little further, and come up with connections that ninety-nine percent of people would have missed. She has incredible instinct and her intuition is spot-on. She's very talented at what she does."

I could feel myself turn red. "I don't do anything that anyone else on my team couldn't do", I said.

"You've trained your staff well", said Ranger.

The timer went on the pasta, and I got up to wash my hands and set the table. I put out forks and spoons and salad bowls as Ranger dished up the food and, as he carried the bowls of pasta over to the table, I brought over the salad bowls and dressings.

We sat down a few minutes later and, as we sprinkled on parmesan cheese, Julie said, "so Dad, will you teach me the special way of eating your meatballs?"

Ranger choked as I looked at him and grinned. "Yes", I said, "this should be interesting."


	7. Chapter 7

Ranger and Julie cleaned up the kitchen and, when they were finished, Julie came and sat beside me and watched what I was doing on the computer. I had inputted Watsmosis and came up with a hokey-looking website. It was rare to see something look so amateurish. There was practically no information on it, looked like it was just a screenshot of Ravi's business card, and there was no address or phone number on the site. I don't know a lot about computers, but I was sure that I could have come up with a website that was much better than what Ravi had done. The site was actually a bit pathetic.

I searched Watsmosis using In-Spect, and came up with bupkis. There was no registered company name, no corporate bank accounts, no corporate taxes paid, nothing at all that said that Watsmosis was a valid company.

I then searched the web for Ravi Assam. I found a few, but none of them lived in Trenton.

Instead of searching through all the Ravi Assams that I could find, I switched gears and searched my mother's bank account to find the check that had been cashed. I was shocked by how little my mother had in their accounts, and I knew it was especially important to return that twelve hundred dollars to my parents. I had never thought of my parents as having money problems before, but they were living a lot closer to the line than I had realized. But then, I guess that made sense. They were supporting three people based on my father's pension and their investments, and their investments weren't large and their pension was small. My father, when he retired, had elected to drive a taxi. I had always thought that he did it to get out of the house and away from my grandmother, and maybe that was a facet of it as well. However, he also needed the money to buy the extras in the household. They would be able to live quite comfortably if it was just my mother and my father in the house, but having my grandmother there made it more challenging to stretch their income. My grandmother didn't contribute to the household at all, and my mother was helping to support Val and, when I was single, me, by having us over for dinner and giving us the leftovers. I smiled sadly. That was one of the things I loved about my mother. She would give you the shirt off her back if she thought you needed it, and no one brought out that generosity as much as her family.

I found the check for the twelve hundred dollars and traced it through the system. The check had been made out to Ravi Assam, and I wondered how the man had been able to con my mother into paying him personally rather than the company. She was a smart lady, and she wouldn't make mistakes like that easily.

I checked Ravi's account, and there were about ten checks for twelve hundred dollars that had been cashed in the last month. I figured that was a good haul. Conning people was a profitable business.

"You can actually look at someone's bank accounts?" said Julie.

"Yes, you can. Most people wouldn't be able to get in, but In-Spect can do it."

"Is that legal?"

I smiled. "Yes, but barely. Ninety-nine percent of people can't do what this program can do. Getting this information just borders the line into hacking. Unlike hackers, though, we just look. We could technically give all those people back their money, but that would be stealing and we don't do that. We'll hand over all this information and the police will make him give the money back."

I searched the client profile and found Ravi's home address and contact information. I put that information into the program and did a search and, as the computer chugged away, Tia decided that it would be an excellent time to eat some dinner. Ranger left where he was searching the television for something to watch with Julie, and retrieved Tia from her crib. He changed her and carried her through to me. She was frantic for food by the time she got to me, and her cries had released my milk.

I pulled off my top and unhooked one side of my nursing bra and, as Tia latched on, In-Spect dinged and let me know that the search was finished.

As Tia fed, I reviewed the information that was there. Ravi's address was in Newark, but according to the information I pulled up his address was a cemetery. However, when I was doing the search I found arrest warrants for fraud in Newark, Paterson and Jersey City. I went back to his bank account and searched the other people who he had conned in the last month. They were all from the Trenton area.

I reviewed the results that In-Spect had spit out. He had conned ninety-six people in total. It seemed that, whenever the heat was turned up in the city he was committing fraud, he moved cities. I wanted Trenton to be the one that stopped him.

However, while there was a wealth of information on his previous arrest warrants and his previous criminal activities, there was no information regarding his identification. He had no driver's license or passport. He had no health insurance or library cards. In fact, the only thing he had was his previous criminal history. I turned to Julie and explained the information on the screen. She listened, fascinated, and looked at the information. "So we have him", she said.

"We have the information to arrest him", I said, "and we have the information to make it stick. However, what we don't have is the method to find him, and that's what Rangeman excels in. We develop what we call a capture plan, and we suggest places that the police can look to find him."

"How do you do that?"

"We first of all look at his credit cards and bank statements to try to find similarities. For instance, if we can find a coffee shop he goes to every morning on his way to work, we could identify which shop it was and suggest that the police go to that coffee shop and wait for him."

Tia popped off my breast and squirmed. I did up my bra, threw a burp cloth over my shoulder, and put Tia on my shoulder and burped her. She continued to fuss, and I tried to burp her again.

I unhooked the other side of my bra, surprised that she would need more, and tried to get her to latch on the other breast. She wasn't interested though.

"Hey, peanut, what's wrong?" I said.

"She was fussy last night as well", said Ranger. "I think she might just be fussier in the evenings."

"That's something for you to look forward to coming home to."

Ranger smiled. "I don't mind. Once she can burp herself she will be a lot more comfortable."

"When does that happen?" I said.

"I was looking that up yesterday. It said about four to six months."

"Maybe we should try giving her a bath?"

"There's a good idea. Do you want to help me give her a bath, Jules?"

Julie grinned and popped to her feet. As Ranger carried the baby bath into the kitchen and filled it with warm water, I swayed with Tia in my arms and patted her back. She continued to fuss, and I could feel the tears well myself. I didn't want her to be upset and I didn't know how to make her happy again.

When Ranger had got a diaper, the diaper cream and a towel and clean facecloth together, he put them on the counter and came through to take Tia. After seeing the expression on my face, he gave me a kiss and wrapped his arms around me. "She's just fussy", he said, "and that's okay. Babies are fussy at times, and this time of the night, after dinner and before bed, seems to be her fussy time."

"But what happens if she doesn't want to settle before it's time for us to go to bed?"

"Then we'll figure it out", he said. "It's all good. Don't worry about it, babe. We'll get through this together."

"I'm just so tired."

"I know, babe. The last couple of nights you have been getting up with the baby every time during the night so that I could sleep. How about tonight I get up with the baby and change her and bring her to you for feeding? I can do everything other than the feeding, and you can sleep."

"What about you?"

"I can sleep in tomorrow. If I can convince Julie to do another run and sparring session with me, I won't have to get up earlier to work out."

Julie overheard. "I'd like that, Dad. I had fun running with you today. I was wondering whether you would teach me how to shoot."

"Yes. If it's okay with Steph, you can use her gun."

"Absolutely", I said. I shuddered in a breath.

Ranger kissed me on the lips, and then took Tia. "Finish up your research so that you can go to bed."

I saved my search results. "I'm actually exhausted. I think, if it's okay with you two, that I might go to bed now."

Ranger searched my face. "I think that's a good idea", he said. "I'll wake you when she needs feeding again."

"Okay."

He captured me into another hug. "Are you okay?" he said.

I buried my nose in his shoulder and sniffed the Bulgari Green body wash that he used. I used to wonder why the Bulgari Green scent stayed on Ranger longer than me, even if we both used the body wash. After being with him for a few days when he was unable to use his favorite body wash and realizing that he still smelled faintly of Bulgari Green though, I now believed that it was just Ranger's natural scent.

"Getting there", I said.


	8. Chapter 8

Ranger was as good as his word, and he got up every two hours to retrieve Tia, change her, take her to me to feed and, when I had finished feeding her, he took her back to her crib. I slept almost continually through the night and when I woke, not including the time when I had been feeding Tia which to be honest, I basically slept through anyway, I had slept twelve hours.

Ranger had slept in until seven, and when he got up Julie got up with him. Since Ranger and Julie normally got up at five-thirty, sleeping until seven was a huge sleep-in for them. Despite getting up with the baby every two hours, he had been able to get seven hours of sleep. Broken sleep, but he said it was enough and since he looked quite refreshed that morning, I had to believe him. Julie said that, since her bedroom was on the other side of the apartment, she hadn't woken at all with the crying. I was glad. I had been worried about that.

I wasn't exactly refreshed the next morning, but I did feel a little more human than I had been lately. My exhaustion was more of an emotional one rather than a physical one, and for the first time in a long time I could feel the difference.

I got up and used the facilities as Tia started to cry, and I sighed as I washed my hands. I had been hoping to have a shower before I had to feed her again, but apparently she had other ideas.

Ranger came into the bathroom carrying a crying Tia. "Good morning", he said.

"Good morning."

I smiled at him, and he searched my face. "It's not a good morning, is it?"

Tears came to my eyes as I shook my head.

He captured me in a hug and kissed me softly. "What can I do to help?"

I blew out a breath. "I don't know."

"Okay", said Ranger. "I've made coffee and Julie and I made fruit salad and raisin scones for breakfast. Does that help?"

I smiled. "Especially the coffee. After I have a coffee and feed Tia, do you think I have time for a shower before we have breakfast? My nightie is wet with milk."

Ranger smiled. "I think that can be arranged. Julie and I already ate. We wanted to let you sleep."

I followed Ranger out of the bedroom to the living room. Ranger and Julie had a game of Monopoly going, and I sat down to watch them play. Monopoly was Julie's favorite game. I personally didn't care much for it myself, but I enjoyed playing it with Julie since she got so much pleasure from it. She was a nice person about it. It was one of Val's favorite games as well, but when I played it with Val she crowed every time she won and she rubbed it in every time you landed on one of her properties or you had to 'go to jail' in the game. Julie didn't do that. She enjoyed the game, but she wasn't nastily competitive about it.

Ranger handed me Tia, and I kissed her on the top of her head. "Hey, peanut, did you have a good sleep?" I pulled down the neckline of my nightie and let Tia latch on, and the silence was welcome.

"She was going almost three hours between feedings last night", said Ranger. "I think her stomach is growing a bit and she is able to take in more sustenance."

"That would be good", I said.

"We'll do it the same way tonight", said Ranger. "I'll get up with Tia and let you sleep, and I'll look after her except for the actual feeding."

"That doesn't seem fair to you", I said.

"What about we negotiate a deal", said Ranger. "I look after Tia at night as long as you look after Tia for a three-hour period during the day? Julie and I can take her for a run, but if you can look after her when we get back we could go down to the gym, spar for a while, come up and shower, then head down to the shooting range so that I can teach Julie how to shoot a gun."

"I think I'm getting the better part of that deal."

"I don't know", said Ranger with a smile. "This means I get some time with just Julie and me, and although I love Tia I'll enjoy some time with just Julie as well."

Julie grinned.

"I can understand that", I said. "It's a deal then. Although, to be honest, I would have looked after Tia during the day to allow you time with Julie without you looking after Tia at night."

Ranger smiled softly at me. "I know you would have", he said. He turned to Julie. "What about this for a plan? While Steph is having her breakfast, you can have some kangaroo care with Tia. And when Steph finishes her coffee and breakfast, we can take Tia for a run and Steph can have an uninterrupted shower and can pamper herself a bit. When we get back, it will probably be time to feed Tia again and, while Steph feeds Tia, we can go down to the gym and spar for a while."

"I was wondering whether we could work on some weights as well", said Julie. "I started on a weight program at home, and I don't want to lose it."

"We can do that. Is there any reason you are doing weights?"

"I want to get stronger for swimming. I set an area record last year, and I want to beat my swim times. I know that I won't be swimming this summer, but I want to make sure I don't lose my muscles."

"I was thinking about that, Jules", I said. "I don't want you to lose your swimming abilities this summer either. There is a local pool close by, and I was thinking that I could take you every day for the lane swim times. I could just wait in the spectator section while you swim. I could take Tia as well, and she can sleep and I'll watch. That way you can keep your swimming up during the summer. You don't have to, but I thought you might like that."

Julie smiled happily. "That would be great, Steph. I hadn't wanted to ask whether that was possible."

"I had checked the times, and I think the lane swim times were from eight to nine in the morning, and four to five in the afternoon."

"Julie is a morning person", said Ranger. "And I'd like to see you get as much sleep as you can. So what about, in the morning while it is cooler, Julie and I get up and go for an hour run, then head into the gym and have a half-hour sparring session and a half-hour weight session, before coming up here for a shower and something to eat. If we got up at five-thirty we'd be able to eat something light, do our workout, shower and eat, and I'd still be at work by nine. Then, Julie could do the lane swim at four and by the time you got back I'd be ready to do a shooting practice before dinner."

"That sounds awesome!" said Julie. "This summer is going to be great!"

I smiled. It was nice to see her so enthused. Personally, that much exercise sounded torturous to me.

Julie jumped up and went into her bedroom, and came out a few minutes later wearing her sports bra and a pair of running shorts. As she got comfortable on the sofa, Tia popped off my breast and I put her up on my shoulder and burped her. I thought we were lucky. She was a relatively easy child to burp.

When she was finished, I lay her on Julie's tummy as Ranger poured me another coffee and carried through a tray with a raisin scone, a large bowl of fruit salad and my coffee. He put it on the sofa next to me, and I smiled my thanks at him.

"Your session with Livy is at one today, isn't it?" said Ranger. Livy was the psychologist that I had been seeing.

"Yes and, if Julie wants it, she has a session scheduled for two."

"So do I." Ranger turned to Julie. "I know that Livy is someone new compared to who you normally see, but I think it would be a good idea for you to see her and, knowing Livy, I don't think it will be a problem for you to see the same person that Steph is seeing. Livy will be able to keep the two of you separate and won't tell the other person your secrets."

Julie thought about that for a moment. "Okay", she said. "I think that I'd like to see her. I had another nightmare last night."

"What was it about?" I said.

"Getting kidnapped. The same guy, Edward Scrog, kidnapped me, but this time he did it in the winter and he left me in an unheated trailer. He didn't leave me a jacket or a blanket."

"That sounds horrible", I said. "Did you wake up cold?"

"No, but I think it was because I knew Tia was unable to maintain her own body temperature when she was kidnapped. Anyway, I woke up scared. It would be better if I didn't have nightmares any longer."

"I understand", said Ranger. "I think Livy will be a good person for you to talk to."

Julie nodded.

I took a few mouthfuls of the fruit. "This is really good", I said. "I love fruit."

"I made the fruit salad", said Julie. "It was Dad's idea to put pine nuts in it, but I was the one to select all the fruit and prepare it."

"It tastes amazing", I said. "You did a good job."

Julie smiled.

I checked the weather on my phone, and saw that it was supposed to be very hot out. When I finished my breakfast, I picked up Tia and changed her into a white onesie with pink flowers embroidered on the chest. I added a pair of footed pink pants with flowers on the toes, and put a little pink hat on that had a flower attached. I thought it would be too hot for the knitted stroller swaddling blanket, so I didn't swaddle her. I thought that Tia might be too interested in what was going on around her anyway. According to Ranger, she was quite interested in the world around her and seeing the colors and shapes as Ranger ran.

By the time I had finished dressing Tia, Ranger was ready to go for his run and Julie was waiting impatiently at the door to the apartment with her shoes on. She stretched as she waited. I smiled at her. "That would be enough exercise for me."

"Doing what?" said Julie as she stretched her quads.

"Stretching", I said.

Julie laughed, but I was serious. Exercise and me went together like liver and chocolate – not at all.


	9. Chapter 9

I enjoyed my time when Ranger had Tia out for a run. I had a longer-than-normal shower and I took the time to blow dry my hair. I decided not to put make up on. It just smeared anyway while I was in my session with Livy. I tended to cry a bit during every session.

I did don a maxi nursing dress though. With wearing a dress, I felt more put together than I would have with wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It was a dark gray heathered fabric that was soft and had a lot of stretch to it, and with it being sleeveless and scoop-necked, it would be cool in the heat of the day. I thought I could wear it with my Birkenstock toe-sleeve sandals. Now that I didn't have swollen feet any longer, I could fit into my sandals and shoes again. I was glad. My Birkenstocks were the most comfortable footwear that I owned.

When I finished dressing, I figured I still had about half an hour left until Ranger and Julie were back from their run. I helped myself to another cup of coffee and opened my computer, and picked up the search where I left off. I looked at the completed report that I had done, and nodded to myself. I was pleased with the report and thought that I had done a good job. There was no way that Ravi would be able to walk based on the information that I had found.

However, it bothered me that all I had on Ravi was his criminal history. Because I didn't have his driver's license, I didn't have his vehicle history. Because I didn't have his passport, I didn't have his travel history. Because I didn't have his health insurance information, I didn't have his medical history. In fact, the _only_ thing I had was his criminal history, and that didn't make sense. I had no information to let me create a capture plan.

I reviewed what I had again. I had a bank account. His address was a cemetery and his phone number that was listed on his bank profile was defunct. His bank was an online bank that allowed you to open a bank account over the internet. I knew how easy it was to open that type of account. All you needed was some fake identification.

It bothered me that I didn't have a picture for him. I went back to his accounts and looked at them again. Then it hit me. Call it baby brain or whatever – I should have noticed this the night before when I was doing my search – but the bank account was linked to another bank account. The other bank account was owned by a Paul Sinn, and money flowed from the Assam account to the Sinn account quite frequently. I put Paul Sinn's name into In-Spect and waited for the search engine to spit out its results.

There were several Paul Sinns, and one of them lived in Newark close to the cemetery that was listed for Ravi Assam. I would bet my last dollar that he was the person I was looking for.

I searched up Paul's identification. While I could only find criminal history on Ravi and couldn't find any other information, there was a wealth of information on Paul. I searched up his driver's license, snipped his picture, and sent it to my mother. I then called her. "Hi, Mom", I said as she answered.

"Hey, baby girl", said my mother. "How are you?"

"Good. I just texted you a picture. Can you look at it and let me know if it is the person who sold you the water system?"

"Just a moment", she said. "I have to get my phone and I'm juggling Edmund."

"Take your time."

I could hear Edmund babble to my mother as my mother pulled out her phone. A few seconds later, she said, "that's him."

"Excellent. Thanks, Mom. That's all I phoned for."

"Did you find him then?"

"Yes. He is wanted in three other cities for doing the same thing that he is doing here in Trenton, and he has conned nine other people each out of twelve hundred dollars in the last month here in Trenton alone. He is wanted on ninety-six counts of fraud that have occurred in the last year. We have him on his criminal charges. Now we just have to find him. Don't worry. We're getting there."

"Is his name Ravi Assam? It seemed like such a strange name, because the name seems more international in flavor but he is decidedly white."

"His name is actually Paul Sinn. That's why I needed your help identifying him. I needed to make sure he was the right guy. Now I just have to create a capture plan, and then the police will be able to pick him up."

"Thanks for doing this, Steph."

"No problem. This asshole needs to be caught."

I hung up the phone a few minutes later and searched up Paul's information. While Ravi didn't have any identification or other history, Paul had a wealth to investigate. He had a tendency to speed. He used his cell phone extensively, and especially called one number in Iowa a lot. I didn't know who was there, and I didn't bother searching it up. I thought I had enough on him as it was. He had two overdue books. He was diabetic. There was a lot of information that was essentially useless, so I disregarded it and turned to his credit cards and banking history to look for patterns that could be used to create a capture plan.

Paul had six credit cards to his name. Five were maxed and the sixth was getting close. It appeared as though he would get a credit card, max it out, then get another credit card and only pay the minimum payment on the first. I personally didn't know why the banks kept giving him new credit cards. I mean, you would think that his credit rating sucked by this point. After all, according to the IRS he wasn't bringing in any money. How did he keep getting credit cards?

I searched through all the card histories. By the time I was finished, I was able to identify that he bought pizza every Friday night from Fat Tony's, he bought a case of beer every Friday and every Monday and, like clockwork, he bought gas for his car every Tuesday morning between eight and nine at the Fast Flow gas station around the corner from where he lived.

I looked at his bank statements again. I could see the regular deposits from Ravi's account to Paul's account, but prior to the deposits from Ravi's account there were deposits from Ted Stavros's account. And four years prior to that there were regular deposits from Robert Devill's account. I looked into their accounts. Ted Stavros's account was active for four years and a number of deposits and withdrawals were made. Then, three years ago, the account became inactive and was cleaned out. The same thing happened four years prior with Robert Devill's account. There was a lot of traffic…and then nothing.

I searched Ted Stavros's and Robert Devill's names on In-Spect. There were five arrest warrants out for Ted and seven arrest warrants out for Robert. I counted up the deposits. In addition to the ninety-six counts of fraud that were attributed to Ravi, there were another two hundred and fourteen attributed to Ted and three hundred and sixty-three to Robert. Paul was a serious con man who was making a habit of stealing people's life savings. I smiled as I finished my capture plan. This asshole deserved to be caught.

I sent the report to Morelli as Ranger and Julie and Tia walked in the door. Tia was just starting to fuss.

"Did you have a good run?" I said.

"I did", said Julie. "Dad said that we are running about six miles. I normally run about five miles, so this is good for me."

"Have you ever thought of doing a triathlon?" Ranger kicked off his shoes and handed me Tia, and disappeared into the bathroom.

"I've thought of it, but I can't stand cycling."

I laughed. "Do they have biathlons then?"

Julie smiled. "I wanted to go in one this summer, but Dad said that was something he wanted to do with me and he needed to practice his swimming first. He said he wasn't a very strong swimmer yet, and he hoped that when the new building was built that he'd be able to swim every couple of days to increase his endurance."

"That sounds good."

"I was saying to him that maybe next summer we could plan on doing a biathlon together."

"I know that your dad would love to do that sort of thing with you", I said, "and I know that Tia and I would be thrilled to be waiting at the finish line with cold bottles of sports drinks in our hands."

Julie laughed. "You should do it with us", she said.

"Oh, no. This is something that is special for just you and your dad. Not only do I not like exercise enough to enjoy doing something like that, but it's okay for you to have something special that just you and your dad like to do. I know that your dad has been looking forward to running and sparring with you ever since you first planned to come up this summer."

"He has?"

"Absolutely. You and your dad share a love of athletics. For some weird reason, you both seem to find pleasure in it."

Julie laughed again.

Ranger walked out of the washroom. "That's better", he said. "I don't normally have three cups of coffee before I go for a run in the morning. I was seriously starting to think about finding a bush to hide behind."

I laughed.

Tia let out a particularly loud squawk.

"I'm coming", I said.

Ranger kissed me on the lips. "Your turn with her. We're going to spar and do some weights", he said. "We'll bring up some sandwiches from the break room on our way back. We should be back around twelve."

I smiled. "Sounds good", I said.

He kissed Tia on the head and kissed me again, then turned to Julie. "Are you going to take me down today?" he said.

Julie smiled. "I will at least once this summer. Why not today?"

Ranger laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

I called Joe Morelli as I fed Tia. "Hey", I said as he answered. "How are you?"

"Great", said Morelli.

"You sound happy."

"Things are going so well with Tracy. I don't think that I have ever been as happy as I am right now."

I smiled. "That's fabulous! That's what I've always wanted for you."

"She's a special person, you know? She's like you in that she has a big heart and would do anything for another person. That was always something that I've loved about you, and that's something that I love about Tracy."

"We'll have to have you over for dinner. I'll talk to Ranger to figure out a good day. For some reason, I think Tracy will like Julie."

"Tracy likes everyone, and Julie's a great kid. I can't imagine that she wouldn't like her."

"I'm glad things are working out for you."

"They are. We see each other basically every day, even if it is just to share some dinner and talk. I have never talked so much before, but there always seems to be more to talk about. It's like the more I get to know her, the more I want to get to know her."

"I understand." I grinned. It was nice to hear him so happy. I had wanted him to have the kind of happiness that Ranger and I had, and I wanted him to have a family. But Morelli was a few years older than me, and he had told me once that he wanted to have his kids before he turned forty. I had been praying that he met someone good by then. He still had another five years to go.

I could hear him smile over the phone. "Somehow, I know you do." I laughed. "Are you just calling to see how I am doing, are you calling for the gossip on my love life, or are you calling for a reason?" he said.

I laughed. "I'm actually calling for a work reason."

"Oh, oh. The last time you called me for a work reason was three weeks ago, and that was when Tia was kidnapped."

"Luckily this time isn't quite as devastating as that."

"Thank God. I think I about died when Tia was taken. I don't know if I could live through that again."

"I hear you. This time it's a case of fraud."

"What's going on?"

I explained to him about my mother getting bilked out of her twelve hundred dollars, and what Paul Sinn was doing. I identified the people who had been taken in by him, and the way that it was being done. "I'll shoot you over the report, but I'll contact our Newark police liaison and work with her to have him arrested. If you could review the information that I send to you, though, and put out an arrest warrant for him that would be good. The way I figure it, he should have arrest warrants for ninety-six counts of fraud as Ravi Assam, but I counted the different twelve-hundred dollar checks, and there were easily one hundred and forty of them if not more, and that was just in the last year. There might have been more of them before then. I didn't count earlier than a year ago. There are also the other two aliases that he has used. He has committed fraud over six hundred times that we know of, and he needs to be stopped."

"Okay. Send me what you have and I'll talk to your mom and some of the other people that you have identified and see what I come up with."

"Great, and I'll talk to Dawn at the Newark Police Division and Darren at the Jersey City Police Department to see whether I can pass over my capture plan."

"I'll talk to Dawn and Darren as well."

"Thanks, Joe."

"So Ranger is letting you do work again?"

"Yes. To tell you the truth, I didn't give him any options. He knew that I'd worry about it if I didn't, and he knows that I get so much of my own self-respect from my ability to work that I don't think he would stop me."

"How is your blood pressure?"

"It's coming down. I see my obstetrician once a week, and the last time I was there he said that it was 128/72. He was very pleased. He figures that it will be back to normal in another three weeks."

"Is there a reason that he's keeping such a close eye on you? After all, it seems odd that he sees you so often."

"I think, because of the preeclampsia, he's keeping a closer eye on me than is typical. I think he also likes seeing Tia. He said that it's a high point of his week to see her and see how well she is doing. Just like Tracy, he says she's a miracle baby to have survived so much in utero and still been as healthy as she was when she was born."

Morelli laughed. "She did survive a few mishaps, didn't she?"

I smiled. "She's a fighter", I said.

Tia popped off my breast and I put her up on my shoulder and burped her. It was a particularly loud burp, and I could hear Joe laugh. "I'm going to assume that was Tia and not you", he said.

I laughed. "Apparently we are raising a trucker rather than a lady", I said.

Joe laughed again. "Look", he said, "I have to go. Thanks for the info and I'll look into it today, and I'll get back to you when I have done something with it."

"No problem, and I will talk to Ranger and come up with a couple of suggestions of times when we could have you and Tracy over for dinner."

"Sounds good to me", said Morelli. We hung up a few minutes later, and I carried Tia into her room.

When I finished changing her diaper, I carried her out of her room on her lambskin. Friends of Ranger's, Wes and Lizzie, had given us a lambskin with a short pile of wool that was suitable to use for babies. It provided cushioning and comfort, and Lizzie suggested to us to put the lambskin down on the ground and have the baby roll around on it. She said it would be our most loved baby gift. Now that Tia had been home for the last two weeks, I had to say that I agreed. I often would place Tia on the ground on her lambskin next to me, and I appreciated being able to see her and know that she was alright. She seemed to find the lambskin comfortable and seemed to enjoy lying on it and kicking up a storm. She was quite an active baby. I could see that she would be taking after her dad and her sister in athleticism.

I picked up my phone again and called Dawn. "Hi, Dawn", I said. "It's Stephanie Plum."

"Hey. Long time, no hear. How is life as a mother? Are you back at work now?"

"Life is great, thanks, and no, I'm not technically back at work. However, I do have a case for you."

"What's going on?"

I explained to Dawn about Paul's different aliases and what he was doing. "I noticed that he has an outstanding arrest warrant as Ravi Assam in Newark, but he also has outstanding arrest warrants for Ted Stavros and Robert Devill as well."

I could hear Dawn typing in some information in her computer. "Just hang on a sec", she said. I waited. "You're sure that Ravi Assam is the same person as Ted Stavros and Robert Devill and Paul Sinn?"

"Positive. I'll send the report to you, and I know that Joe Morelli from the TPD will want to talk to you as well. I'll also call Darren Poole in Jersey City to tell him about the identification, and he might want to talk to you too. Is it okay if I get him to call you?"

"Absolutely. I always love it when we catch a scumbag like this."

I smiled. "So do I."

I hung up the phone a few minutes later, and then called Darren. "Hey, Darren", I said, "it's Stephanie Plum."

"Hi! Are you back at work now?"

"Not officially. My daughter is still just three weeks old, so I'll be off work for another three months at least. However, I've been working on this one case in my spare time."

"You spend your spare time quite differently than how I spend my spare time", said Darren with a laugh.

I chuckled. "This case involves my mother." I explained how my mother had been duped and what I had found looking into the case. I explained about Paul Sinn and each of the aliases, and I explained about the number of people that he had committed fraud against. "I will send out my report, and I have already talked to Dawn Sheridan at the Newark police. I sent her the capture plan, but I thought you'd want to talk to her yourself. I know you have outstanding arrest warrants for his capture."

"That's what I love about you, Steph. You take a person that we have given up finding, you identify him and build a case against him, and then you identify how he can be captured and you put the steps in place for his arrest. We appreciate it."

I laughed. "We aim to please."

"So he really bilked your mother of twelve hundred dollars?"

I sighed. "Yeah, and my mother doesn't have twelve hundred dollars to give."

I could hear Darren smile over the phone. "He really picked the wrong family to piss off, didn't he?"

I laughed. "I think I have decided to follow Ranger's motto."

"What's that?"

"Don't get mad. Get even."

"He's a vengeful sort?"

"He does it all legally. He believes strongly in karma, but if karma needs a little nudge now and then, he's quite happy to help."

"I'll know to tread lightly around him."

I laughed. "I think you're safe, Darren. You're one of the good guys."

Ranger and Julie came up to the apartment carrying our lunches a few minutes later. I was sitting on the floor, my skirt hiked up, my legs spread in a vee, with Tia between my legs, playing with a rattle with her. It was a stuffed zebra, and I think she liked the contrast of the black and the white. She frequently tried to grab it when I brought it close to her face. She wasn't quite coordinated enough to do so, but I had to give her marks for trying.

"Did you get done the research you wanted to do?" said Ranger as Julie went into the bathroom to have the first shower.

"I did." I told him what I'd found out, and who I had called to report it to.

"What did Dawn say?"

"She said that she'll look at the report I sent over, and will follow up on the capture plan. She said that, assuming she finds him, she'll likely make an arrest tomorrow."

"That's great. So all's well that ends well?"

"Something tells this issue isn't over with."

"Your famous instinct is coming into play?"

"I don't know if I have a famous instinct", I said. "But I don't think we've seen the end of Paul Sinn."


	11. Chapter 11

I walked into my appointment with Livy carrying Tia in her infant car seat. I hadn't had to take the car to see Livy – she was just on the second floor of the Rangeman building. However, Tia's car seat was a comfortable place for Tia to rest. I thought that I would stop off to see Miguel and Dirk while Julie was visiting Livy and, if Tia would be seeing a number of people I thought she'd appreciate not being passed around.

We were still being a little careful with her anyway. The immune systems of preemies weren't as well developed as those of older babies and, although we wanted to share her with everyone in the building, we didn't want to take the chance that she got sick from seeing all the various people.

Tia had been in the hospital for six days after she was born. One of those days she had been kidnapped. The next day we took her out while we participated in the arrest of her kidnapper. The next four days she was receiving phototherapy for jaundice. When she was released, she was totally over the jaundice and was doing well.

After she was released, Ranger and I started receiving talk therapy each day. We did that for two weeks, but now that Julie was there we didn't want to spend all our time in therapy. We had now cut our sessions down to twice a week. For Ranger, he was feeling a little more comfortable with leaving me alone. As long as I remained within the Rangeman walls, he was confident with Tia and I moving unescorted and unguarded around the building. However, he still got a little concerned when I left Rangeman. We had only left twice so far – both times to go to doctor's appointments – and Ranger made sure that he was available to accompany me. I thought he was going to have to relax soon though. If I was planning on taking Julie to the pool every day, he would have to get used to the concept that Tia and I were leaving the building. I knew that it would be hard on him at first, and I was sort of surprised that he hadn't insisted that I take Amelia with us when we went.

But then, maybe he suspected that I was already planning on asking Amelia to go. I still felt a little stunned by what had happened, and I still felt like I would prefer to have a little support. After all, Julie was good at self-defense, but I couldn't expect her to protect her sister and me as well as herself. She was, after all, just thirteen.

Amelia had become a good friend since I met her six months ago. She had been a skip of mine that I had sent Rangeman out to capture. She had been a newly discharged vet who, because of suffering from PTSD, had been unable to find a job. With no money coming in and no family to provide support, she was starving and struggling to provide a roof over her head. Out of desperation, she stole a bag of hamburger buns. I was impressed that she limited it to only a single bag of buns. She hadn't eaten for three days beforehand.

When the Rangeman team picked her up, she didn't fight. She regretted her actions but she owned them as well. She didn't make excuses, she didn't blame anyone, she was cooperative – and she impressed the hell out of the Rangeman team. They took her out for a meal on the way to the precinct, and they told Ranger about her afterwards. Ranger was so impressed by what they said that he went to meet her, and he interviewed her in the jailhouse. The upshot was that he offered her a job as a bodyguard on the condition that she learn how to be one, that she work with a nutritionist to help her gain back her lost pounds, and she go to regular therapy appointments to help her deal with her PTSD. She'd accepted.

Afterwards, as I got to know her, I found out that she had always wanted to be a daycare worker when she retired from the army and her only concern about working for Rangeman was that she wouldn't be achieving her dream. Ranger and I encouraged her to get her Early Childhood Educator degree anyway. We both liked her as a person, and we knew we were pregnant at the time – but we wanted to see how she did on her bodyguarding lessons.

She'd excelled in them. She'd learned everything from self-defense to defensive driving and Dave, our Manager of Personal Security, said she was the best bodyguard that he had ever trained.

She was thrilled for the opportunity to support herself, and she had been making friends. With therapy and taking control of her life, her PTSD symptoms were lessening in their intensity and her anxiety was becoming more controllable. She said that she only had nightmares a couple of times a week now, and she was much more relaxed. She was recovering.

When she had proved to be as talented a bodyguard as we had suspected that she would be, we asked her if she would like to become Tia's nanny/bodyguard. She was thrilled to be asked, and had devoted herself to her studies and her training. Tank, our Executive Vice-President, had taken over her self-defense training himself, and he said that she was learning faster than anyone he had ever trained before.

Mellie and I had spent a lot of time together since we had hired her on as Tia's nanny last December. She would, after all, be living with us. I had found that, the more time I spent with her, the more I liked her.

Tank had apparently had the same reaction to her. When Amelia and I were locked the freezer in March, Ranger took me home to care for me – and Tank took Mellie home to care for her. They started going out a couple of days later and, the last I had heard, things were going very well. Although a room was being allocated in our new place for Amelia to live, I rather suspected that Mellie might be living with Tank by then, and she might not need a room after all. Of course, I could just be hoping. Both Tank and Mellie were among my most favorite people, and I wanted everyone to be as happy as Ranger and me.

I sat down on the sofa and lifted Tia out of her car seat. She was still asleep, but I didn't think that she'd be asleep for long. It was coming up to a feeding time.

"How are you doing?" said Livy.

"Okay", I said.

"Okay?" She looked at me, and my smile slipped. Livy and Ranger were the only two people that I felt comfortable sharing my innermost thoughts with. Livy said that she couldn't help me if I didn't tell her how I really felt. She said she wanted to know my secret self. I had never realized how much of myself I hid from others before I met with Livy – or even how much I hid from myself. I didn't like parts of me and didn't like thinking about them – so I repressed them and pretended that they didn't exist. Those parts were the ones where I wasn't positive, where I was scared and worried and upset. I didn't like myself much, and I hid that. I thought of myself as a failure and a reject, and I hid that too.

"It's been a rough day." I showed her my Daylio mood chart. I had been keeping it ever since she had recommended it a month prior to Tia being born. I checked in and reported my mood every two hours. It had been helpful to show trends in my moods. For instance, it showed that my mood was always worse in the morning when I got up than it was when I went to bed. I think that was because, every night, I looked forward to the oblivion of sleeping, and every night I expected that I would be all better when I got up the next day. And every morning my mood would plummet even further as I realized that I wasn't all better after all.

Livy looked over my chart. "What's going on?"

"I don't know", I said. Livy waited. "I was very tired last night. I felt overwhelmed and unable to cope, so Ranger suggested that I go to bed early. He looked after Tia all night, and only brought her to me to be fed. I slept through the feedings and Ranger did everything, which I felt very guilty about. But I slept over twelve hours, and I woke up just as depressed as I was when I went to bed."

"Tell me about being depressed."

"It's like a heavy weight pressing me down, making it seem impossible to keep breathing let alone continue to function. I want to cry, but I feel too empty to cry."

"On a scale of negative ten to positive ten, negative ten being the worst that you could ever imagine, what number are you?"

I thought for a moment as Tia started to fuss, and I pulled up the flap in my bodice and unhooked the side of my bra so that I could feed her. "Probably a negative six with breakthrough periods of a negative one."

"So that is better than before Tia was born, when you were about a negative eight. Do you have any suicidal thoughts?"

"No", I said. "Tia needs me to feed her."

"Tia needs you for more than just to feed her. Yes, she needs your milk, but she needs you to be there for her as she grows up too. She needs you to put her hair in braids on the first day of school. She needs you to give her hot pads the first time she gets her period, and she needs you to hold her hand and pass her tissues the first time she is dumped by her boyfriend. She needs you to be there when she gets married, keeping her calm, and she needs you to show her how to diaper her own child. Tia needs you around for a long time, not just to feed her."

"That seems impossible."

"It seems impossible that she would need you?"

"No. It seems impossible to live that long."

"So that brings up back to the original question. Do you have any suicidal thoughts?"

"No. But it would be nice not to have to feel for a while. I wish there were numbing agents for your brain."

Livy laughed. "If I could develop that, I would become a very wealthy woman."

I smiled sadly. "I'm just so tired of feeling bad. I just need a break." I paused. "I mean, I seem to have breakthrough moments where things aren't so black, where my smile seems real instead of forced. It has been a long time since my smile wasn't forced. I'm trying to hold onto the change and remind myself that it is proof that I am getting better."

"How did you find it when you got married?"

"I was still able to prop myself up with the thought that I was good at my job. Things often seemed hopeless, but I still felt happy with where I was in life. For the last three months it was particularly difficult, as there was nothing to prop myself up with. I got a lot of my identity through my job."

"Like you did when you were in high school."

"Yes. I could say that, although I wasn't able to earn a position as a cheerleader, I was still valuable because I worked hard at my school but I also worked hard at my part-time job."

"And you got your identity through your job while in college as well?"

"Yes. I could say that although I wasn't able to earn a scholarship, I was able to contribute more money to my college education than my sister did through her scholarship. I was able to justify my existence."

"And now?"

"Now I'm not working."

"Yes, but you are a mother. You are a wife. You are a daughter, a granddaughter and a daughter-in-law. You are a friend. There are many roles you fill that help define you that don't involve your work."

"Yes, but I think I am failing in those roles. The only one I excel in is as a researcher."

"I don't think I would agree with that. I don't think Ranger or Julie or your family or Ranger's family would agree with that."

"I just feel like such a failure."

"Yes, but that's the depression talking."

"I have always thought of myself as a failure."

"You don't have a lot of self-confidence."

"I've always felt overshadowed by Val."

"And we've shown many times that there is no need for that."


	12. Chapter 12

_I have to apologize. When I started posting this book, I said that I would post two chapters a day and would respond to all reviews – and I have been doing neither. Life has been getting in the way and for personal reasons I have been unable to keep my promises. So I am revising those promises and will post when I can – although I will try to post regularly – and won't be responding to reviews. I'm sorry, but I hope you understand. – Sarah _

**Chapter Twel**ve

I was right to have not put on makeup for my session with Livy. I did cry, but by the end of the session I felt a little stronger and a little more able to tolerate the heaviness that seemed to characterize me recently.

When I got out of my appointment, Ranger was waiting with Julie. He smiled at me, inspected my face, and gave me a kiss. "Since my appointment is at the same time as Julie's", he said, "I'll wait for Julie and will come back to the apartment with her so that you don't have to watch your time with Miguel and Dirk. In fact", he said, "I have arranged all my appointments for the next two months to be at the same time as Julie's so that we can go to them together. I will then take the rest of the day off on those days, and Julie and I can do our shooting practice early. Sometimes being able to shoot something when you are feeling angry or upset is just as helpful as a therapy appointment."

"Is that why you've gone to the range so often in the last few months?"

Ranger grinned. "My aim has gotten better."

"How can you perfect perfection?"

Ranger laughed. "You can always get better. Shooting isn't something that I have to do very often any longer, so it is important that I keep it up."

"So that means that you'll get one hundred percent of the bullets through dead center rather than ninety-nine point nine percent?"

"That point one percent really ticked me off."

I laughed.

Julie looked at me. "Mom said that Dad is a very good shot."

"Your dad is the best shot that I have ever seen", I said. "He's the best shot at Rangeman, and some of the staff here have won shooting competitions."

"Has Dad ever won a shooting competition?"

I smiled. "I don't think your dad ever wanted to compete in one. However, he has airsoft competitions with staff and he always wins those."

"That reminds me", said Ranger. "I have to organize another one soon. Now that you aren't pregnant or injured, we should get you into the shooting range again and get you ready to compete."

"I don't have to compete, do I?" I said as I pouted. I hated shooting people. I didn't mind it so much when it was a target on a piece of paper, but I didn't like it so much when people were the targets. It reminded me too much of the people I had killed in the line of duty.

The last person I had killed knocked me on my ass. I had killed previously, but they hadn't made as much of an impression as killing Pete Brodie had done. I don't know why exactly his death made as much of an impression as it had. Pete had been determined to kill me and his death was in self-defense, but that didn't seem to matter. I suffered from nightmares after. I had trouble sleeping and lost my smiles. I ate everything in sight and gained weight. That was when Ranger started me on self-defense lessons, and on shooting lessons, and encouraged me to talk about what I was feeling. I didn't officially start therapy, but I did the next best thing. Ranger said that I had been suffering from PTSD, but he pulled me through and made me better.

PTSD is a disorder that results in anxious behaviors, and through my experiences I found that I personally ate when I was anxious. But my most recent bout of depression showed that I wasn't interested in food at all when I was depressed. Sometimes bodies were funny things. Being depressed may not have been good for my mental state, but it was good for my weight.

I felt bad that I wasn't able to pull Ranger through his PTSD the way that he pulled me through mine. In many ways, I thought I was part of the problem. I was the one always in danger and was stopping him from recovering. I had told him that, and he told me that I wasn't part of the problem, but rather that I was his strength, his cheerleader in helping him get better. I thought that was very nice for him to say, but I didn't believe it. Livy and I were working on my strong feelings of guilt.

Because the truth was that I would do anything for Ranger. He was my otter.

Livy had looked confused when I had told her that. I had to explain to her that otters mate for life, and at night they hold hands so that they don't float away from each other. Ranger was my strength just as much as I was his.

"Babe, if you are intending to go out to capture skips again, you need to be able to shoot and be comfortable with carrying and using your gun." I made a face, and Ranger smiled. "It's up to you, but now that you are working for Rangeman and will be capturing the skips on behalf of Rangeman, you need to wear your gun and Kevlar while you are doing captures. It's important."

Livy came to the door of her therapy room and smiled at Julie. She came over and introduced herself, and seconds later led Julie into her office. As she did so, Gabriel escorted his last patient out and looked at Ranger. "I'm sorry I went overtime", he said. "If you give me a minute so that I can finish my notes, I'll be with you soon."

Ranger smiled and as Gabriel returned to his office Ranger looked at me. He captured me in a hug. "Rough appointment?" he said softly as he buried his nose in my hair.

I sighed. "No, not especially so. I mean, they are all hard in many ways, but this one wasn't especially hard. Livy went over the symptoms of depression again and we checked off the ones that I was experiencing. It was helpful in that it showed me that I was slowly getting better."

"What symptoms are improving?"

"My concentration. Lately I've felt unable to think clearly and my memory is shot. I've been calling it baby brain. But I was able to think and research my mother's con artist, and relatively quickly was able to identify the man and pinpoint the people who need to be a part of his arrest."

"That's true", said Ranger. "It didn't take you long at all to do the research. How did it make you feel to realize that you were getting better?"

"Relieved. When you are mired down in the muck, it is hard to see the little steps of improvement – but Livy is right. I am making small steps towards getting better."

Gabriel came out of his therapy room again. "Okay, Ranger, if you are ready?"

Ranger leaned down and kissed me. "I'll see you back in the apartment later. If you get back late, Julie and I will be down in the gun range." He smiled. "Leave time for a nap", he said.

I yawned as if on cue. "Sounds good to me", I said.

He kissed me again, then followed Gabriel into his office and shut the door behind him.

I picked up Tia's baby carrier and lugged it down the hall to the research department. I smiled at people as I walked through the desks to my office. There were two offices for the management staff. One was mine and the other was to be shared between Miguel and Dirk, my two research managers. However, with me being on leave I had suggested to Miguel that he use my office. I wouldn't be using it anyway, and he was acting as the department head in my absence. He hadn't wanted to take the space at first, but he had switched over after some urging on my part.

I popped my head into my office and smiled and waved at Miguel. He was on the phone, so I went next door to Dirk's office and entered. Dirk looked up from his computer with a grin on his face. "Hey, how are you?" he said. "Are you getting any sleep?"

I laughed. "I'm lucky that I'm married to someone who can exist quite well on four hours of sleep, and regularly only gets six. Unfortunately, I'm someone who needs nine. Ranger took over child duties last night though, and brought Tia to me only when she needed fed. I barely woke up long enough to latch her on, and Ranger did everything else. I got twelve hours of sleep and it was wonderful."

Dirk laughed. "Don't say that too loud around other new mothers. I think they'd shoot you. How long is she going between feedings?"

"Two hours, but Ranger said that she was stretching it out to three hours in the middle of the night last night. We're just lucky that she's a fast feeder and falls asleep easily. It would be so much worse if she took a long time to feed. Ranger said that she takes after me in speed of eating. I've always been a fast feeder as well. Ranger is not. He's the slowest eater I have ever seen. He said that he had to eat fast when he was in the army and he hated it. He vowed, when he left the army, that he would never rush through a meal again."

Dirk laughed. "That is one thing about the military. It does teach you to eat fast. I now am finished my meal almost minutes after we start eating and am often finished before my kids have taken their first bite. I have some good news."

"What's that?"

"My wife is expecting again."

I grinned. "That's fabulous!"

Dirk laughed. "My wife told me that I could feed the baby at dinnertime. She said that I would be able to eat my own food and feed the baby his or hers, and would still be finished my food before my wife was finished hers." I smiled.

"When is your wife due?" I said.

"In another seven months. So, she's at the throwing-up stage of her pregnancy."

"How's she feeling?"

"Pretty crappy, but she feels better in the morning. I know it's called morning sickness, but it seems to affect her after dinner rather than in the morning. I'm just glad that I'm here to help her out this time around. With my first two children, I was overseas when my wife was pregnant and wasn't home to help her through it. She said that it is easier having me there to do things for her."

"I can understand that. I can't imagine having to get through my pregnancy without Ranger. He carried me at times, even if it was just in making me foods that I was particularly craving or holding back my hair as I threw up."

"In some ways, I think I lucked out by not being there during the first two pregnancies. It's hard to watch her be so sick. I feel quite guilty every time she throws up. We've been talking about me getting the snip done. My wife doesn't want me to and would like to have more children, but after seeing her as sick as she is, I don't want to ask her to go through it again. If I had seen my wife go through this before, I think we would have stopped at one child."

I laughed. "But it is so worth it when they are born."

"Are you enjoying your time with her?"

Miguel walked into the office and shut the door. "Hey, chica! It's nice to see you." He looked down in the infant carrier. "Hey, Chiclet, how are you?" he said softly. Tia waved her arms around and kicked in the air. Miguel ran his finger down her cheek. "She's so soft", he said. He grinned as he looked at me. "She looks like you. Absolutely beautiful."

I looked at Tia. "I know that I think she's beautiful, but when you actually consider things she's just a bald baby with a bit of baby acne."

Miguel put his hands over Tia's ears. "Don't listen to her", he said. "You are the prettiest baby that ever lived."

"She's as pretty as my kids", said Dirk with a grin, "and I think my kids were the best-looking babies ever."

I laughed. "I think all parents think their kids are the prettiest kids who ever lived. Don't they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?"

"That's better than saying that she has a face that only a mother can love", said Miguel with a laugh.


	13. Chapter 13

I was able to have a good visit with Miguel and Dirk before Tia decided that she wanted to be fed, and I took her up to our apartment, changed her, took off my dress, and lay down to feed her. I cuddled her after burping her, and we both fell asleep with her lying on my chest. I woke up two hours later when Tia decided she was hungry again. As I woke up, Ranger came into the bedroom. "Stay there and wake up slowly", he said softly. "I'll change Tia and get her ready for her next feed." I smiled sleepily at him as he leaned down and kissed me, and he picked up Tia and took her from the room.

As always, when I first woke up, I felt pretty good. The depression wasn't as noticeable and I was better able to cope. But as I continued to wake up more, a wave of despair washed over me and I was thrust into a deep, black pit that was impossible to get out of. I felt a little stunned from the violence of the despair. My body was tired and heavy; I could feel it most in my face. It felt like there were weights pulling my face down and making it impossible to smile.

I remembered reading Harry Potter when I was younger, and the Dementors reminded me very much of depression. They sucked away all joy and life, and left one feeling cold and empty. They sent you to a hell unlike anything that anyone could imagine. I rather thought J.K. Rowling had probably suffered from depression at some point because she absolutely nailed the description of it.

Ranger came back into the bedroom carrying Tia. I smiled at him, and he searched my face as he smiled back. "No better, hunh?" he said.

I sighed. "I keep thinking that, if I just get enough sleep, I will feel better. It's not working out that way though, and it's disheartening to wake up after a good sleep and realize that things haven't improved."

Ranger handed Tia to me as I turned on my side and let Tia latch on. He climbed onto the bed and laid beside me so that we were facing each other, and he put his arm over my waist. "You have to remember, though, that your fatigue isn't necessarily caused by lack of sleep. It is caused by depression, and there is a difference. You can sleep off one but not the other. However, I believe it does work that, if you don't get enough sleep, you will become more depressed. That's why I'm as happy as I am that you are sleeping as much as you are."

"I know."

He kissed me. "It will get better, babe. I have faith."

"I just have to keep reminding myself that there are times now when my smile isn't forced, and that is proof that I am getting better."

"And that's why I say that you are an optimistic person, even when you are feeling depressed. You choose to focus on each of the positive gains that you are making rather than focusing on how crappy you feel. That's one of the qualities that makes you nice to spend time with. Your positive attitude makes me feel good about things." He cradled my cheek in his hand and smoothed his thumb over my cheekbone. "I love you, babe. Te amo. Te amo mucho."

I smiled. "Yo te amo más."

"Imposible."

I grinned at him, and he leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"What is Julie doing?" I said.

"She said she wanted some time to catch up on her emailing. She wanted to send a long email to her mom, and she had some friends that she wanted to email as well."

"Okay. So it's okay for us to be in here?"

"It's perfectly fine." He kissed me again. "Don't worry so much."

"I just want her to have a good time when she is here. I'd like her to come back again next summer as well, and if she is bored then she might not want to come."

"I don't think she is bored or that she'll get bored. She told me, after we finished our target practice, that she thought this was going to be the best summer she's ever had. She said she was really enjoying going out for runs and she liked sparring with me, and she was enjoying learning a new skill with shooting. Tonight is our class, and that should be fun. She said that, despite doing martial arts for so long, she was learning new techniques when we were sparring together. That makes sense. She has been learning aikido for years, whereas I'm teaching her krav maga. It uses different techniques. It's what I've been teaching you as well."

"I always figure that it isn't as pretty a method as something like aikido. I think it is like street fighting compared to a more refined, less crude, kind of fighting."

"That's true. Krav maga is violent and effective. It gets the job done as efficiently and as quickly as possible. While aikido is based on sportsmanship, krav maga is based on putting your opponent down and making them stay down. There is a difference."

"How is Julie doing in her weight program?"

"She's an incredibly strong person. I'm still a bit nervous about her doing weights. Her body is still growing and developing, and I don't want her to put too much strain on her developing muscles. However, I talked to Miles about it briefly, and he said that he'd keep an eye on her program and that, if she was doing lots of repetitions of low weights, she would be fine. I signed her up for a couple of sessions with Miles to review her weight program and optimize it for her and her body."

"I'm glad that he's looking after her. He's a good trainer."

"Yes and because he is a physiotherapist by training, he has a good understanding of how to use your body and what is appropriate for the different stages of development."

"That's important." Tia popped off my breast and I sat up and burped her. I turned to Ranger. "Do you want to do some kangaroo care? You haven't had a chance to snuggle with her recently."

Ranger smiled and pulled his top off. I placed Tia on him, tummy to his chest, and Ranger angled his head down to kiss her crown. "Te amo, peanut", he said. "Te amo mucho."

"Dirk told me today that his wife is expecting again. She is due in January."

"That's fabulous! He has two other children, right? What do they think about it?"

"Their oldest, when they told him, apparently said, 'not again'." Ranger laughed. "Their youngest asked if the baby would like to color with her."

"What does Dirk think about it?"

"He said that he is excited, but he isn't enjoying seeing how sick his wife is. He said that, if he had seen that with his other children, he probably would have stopped at one."

"I can understand that", said Ranger. "Having recently seen how sick you were, I can understand not wanting to cause your spouse any more hardship than you have to. Seeing you as sick as you were made me feel a bit guilty."

"It wasn't your fault. It was just the baby's way of making herself known."

"I hated it though."

I paused and thought about that. "I guess I can see what you're saying. I would hate seeing you that sick as well."

"How do you feel about the baby now that you have her? I know, at first, you weren't exactly happy about being pregnant."

"I know. It took me a few months, but when I decided I was happy about it, I was very happy about it. I had been looking forward to when she was born, not only because I felt fat and ungainly and awkward, but because I wanted to get to know her as a person, her likes and dislikes and her personality."

"Now that you've met her, are you happy about it?"

"It's a little hard yet. I don't know who she is as a person. After all, she hasn't had much of a chance to express her personality. I mean, I know that she's impatient, but I'm not sure how much of that is because she is a three-week old baby or how much of that is because she is naturally impatient. I know she likes her food, but again I don't know how much of that is because she likes food and how much of that is because she is as young as she is."

"It will be fun getting to know her."

I smiled. "Yes, it will."

I left Ranger to cuddle with Tia as I put my dress back on, used the washroom, and walked out of the bedroom. Julie was sitting at the dining table using Ranger's computer. "How's it going?" I said.

"Good. I heard Tia fussing."

"Yes. She was hungry. She's now having some kangaroo time with your dad."

"I heard a story", said Julie. "It's supposed to be true."

"What's that, sweetie?"

"There was a woman who worked from home, and around nine in the morning she noticed that a dog came and lay in the shade in her backyard every single day. So one day it's raining out, and the woman invites the dog in. The dog comes in, lies down, and goes to sleep. Around five o'clock, he woke up and asked to go out. When the woman let the dog out, he went away – but the next day he came back. He barked at the door and the woman let him in. He stayed all day, and again at five o'clock he popped up and asked to go out. This happened for a couple of weeks. Every day at nine in the morning the dog showed up, and at five in the afternoon he asked to go home. After a couple of weeks, the woman attached a note to the dog's collar that said something like 'just so that you know, your dog comes down to my house every day. I don't mind. He's good company for me. But I thought you'd like to know where your dog goes.' The next morning there was another note attached to the dog's collar when the dog got back. It said something like, 'thank you for taking my dog in during the day. His name is Lucky and he's twelve years old. I am a grandmother who lives four houses down the street, and I have recently started looking after my three grandchildren. They are all under the age of three and the youngest has colic. Our house is very noisy and our dog is just looking for somewhere safe and quiet to sleep. Thank you for taking him in'. The host sent back a note with a dog that night that said, 'three kids under the age of three? If you ever want to join your dog for a nap…'"

I laughed.


	14. Chapter 14

Ranger had told Ella, our housekeeper, that he would do all the cooking while he was off. Normally, Ranger did all the cooking on the weekend and made only breakfasts during the week, but Ella was responsible for cooking dinners from Monday to Friday. Ella used to do all our cooking, but Ranger had done some cooking during the Christmas holidays to give Ella some time off, and his comment was that he had forgotten how much he enjoyed it. He had incorporated cooking in his day as he added de-stressing activities into his daily schedule. When Amelia lived with us, Ranger and I were planning on having Mellie and Ranger do all the cooking. Apparently, Mellie liked cooking as much as Ranger did. I was just glad that someone did. If they had to rely on my cooking, they would starve.

"What's for dinner?" I asked Ranger as he left the bedroom. He was carrying Tia on his shoulder, and she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, interested in everything around her.

Ranger placed her on the floor on her sheepskin, and she immediately started to kick and wave her arms. She gurgled, and I sat down beside her and leaned against the sofa. I put my finger in her palm and smiled as she clasped my finger tightly, and let her wave my hand around.

"Cranberry chicken, jasmine steamed rice, peas and mashed sweet potato."

"That sounds awesome!" said Julie. "How do you make cranberry chicken?"

Ranger reviewed the recipe with her, and she seemed to understand it. Personally, he lost me at "take the raw chicken out of the fridge".

Ranger and Julie went into the kitchen and worked together for several minutes. After about fifteen minutes, they came out of the kitchen again. When I looked at them in surprise, Ranger smiled at me. "Tonight's dinner is very easy. It's in the oven and will be ready in about an hour."

"Sounds good", I said. "Thank you for making it."

"I hope to know how to cook a few different dishes when I go home again", said Julie. "I'd like to be able to surprise Mom and Ron with my cooking."

"Then you have a good teacher", I said with a smile. "Your dad makes the best food that I have ever tasted. That's saying something, since I know some pretty good chefs."

"I hope to be a good chef when I'm older", said Julie.

"It just takes practice", said Ranger. "Trial and error is the best way to figure something out, especially in cooking. It's the only way you'll figure out what flavors go with what."

"I'm sure you inherited the cooking gene", I said. "I, however, did not. I'm the world's worst cook."

"You could be a good chef if you wanted to be", said Ranger. "You've just got a mental block that says that you can't cook. It is a false mental block though, and there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to cook."

"Why don't we get Dad to teach us together?" said Julie. "It would be fun."

"I don't know", I said. "The last time I cooked, my ex-husband told me that I would never be able to cook and he didn't know what was wrong with me since my mother was a good cook. He called me deficient. He said that it was his experience that women were either good-looking or good cooks, and since I wasn't good looking he had assumed that I'd be a good cook."

"Dickie was an idiot", said Ranger. "He didn't know what he was talking about. You are the prettiest woman I have ever seen, and you have all the makings of a good chef. You like food, to start off with, and you've got a good sense of smell. I always think that is important when you are figuring out what foods go with what, because you can often tell from smell as to what goes together."

"Your ex-husband was called Dickie?" said Julie. She started to laugh. "Was he nice?"

"Not particularly", I said. "I called him Dick the Prick, and honestly? He was a bigger prick than a cactus."

Julie laughed.

"I think that's a good idea to do cooking lessons together this summer", said Ranger. "I agree with you, Jules. It would be fun."

A wave of panic flooded over me. "I don't want to ruin the food that the two of you are cooking."

"You won't, babe", said Ranger.

"I was the same person who put garlic in the chocolate chip cookies."

"Would you do that again?"

"No."

"Then I rest my case. The best way to learn is through trial and error."

I guess I looked just as terrified as I felt, because Julie looked at me and patted my hand. She bumped shoulders with me. "It will be okay", said Julie. "And if it isn't? I like pizza as well."

"But I put cinnamon in my meatloaf!"

"If you were making tourtière, it would have cinnamon in it", said Ranger.

"What is tourtière?" said Julie. I was glad she asked. I didn't know either.

"It's a traditional meat pie that is served in Quebec. It's very tasty."

"Can we make one sometime? It sounds interesting", said Julie.

"Of course", said Ranger.

"It doesn't sound interesting", I said. "It sounds gross. Dickie wasn't the only person who thought my cinnamon meatloaf was disgusting."

"I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you remember", said Ranger. "Cinnamon in meatloaf may be a bit unusual, but it isn't disgustingly odd. As I said, there are some meat dishes that are supposed to have cinnamon in them. Even if you consider ketchup. People often eat meat and ketchup together. Think hamburger. But one of the ingredients in ketchup is cinnamon."

"No way!" said Julie. "I like ketchup on my hot dogs."

"You eat hot dogs?" I said. I grinned as Ranger made a pained face. I had told him once that hot dogs were an all-American food and that I would make sure that our baby learned to enjoy something so fundamentally American. Ranger said that he was going to teach Tia to enjoy real food, and he wasn't even sure that hot dogs could be considered food. He said that he didn't know what was in a hot dog, but he wasn't certain it was real meat.

Julie nodded enthusiastically. "Glad to see that you were brought up properly", I said. "Between you and me, we'll teach Tia to like hot dogs."

Julie laughed.

"That reminds me of a story", I said. "A student at a Catholic school was lined up with her class for lunch. At the beginning of the buffet line was a large tray of hot dogs. Next to the tray was a sign that said, 'take only one. God is watching'. Farther along the buffet line was a large tray heaping with chocolate chip cookies. The little girl, when she saw this, turned to her friend beside her. 'Take all you want of the cookies', she said. 'God is busy watching the hot dogs'."

Julie laughed. "I've got a joke for you. Why did the woman put a blanket over her hot dog?"

"I don't know. Why?" said Ranger.

"Because it was a chili dog." Ranger groaned as I laughed. "What was first prize at the hot dog race?"

"Do I want to know?" said Ranger.

"Weiner takes all", said Julie.

I laughed again as, smiling, Ranger shook his head.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" asked Ranger.

"I was wondering about going to my parents' for dinner tomorrow", I said. "Because my mom has had Val's kids, she hasn't had much of a chance to see Tia yet, and I know that she'd love to have a chance to spend some time with Julie."

"I would like to see Angie and Mary Alice again", said Julie.

"Will you be able to cope seeing your grandmother for an extended period like that?" said Ranger. He looked at me worriedly. "You're just getting your feet under you again, and I'd hate to see your grandmother cause further problems."

"Why is your grandmother causing problems?" said Julie.

"My grandmother has a tendency to make up stories about people and spread them around as if they were true. Some of them are obviously untrue, like when she told everyone that Tia was in the hospital for the first week because she was born with two heads and one had to be surgically removed. However, some of them aren't as obvious. We didn't tell her that I had preeclampsia because we knew she would tell everyone that I had suffered a stroke or that I had a heart attack, and for the next year whenever I met someone from the neighborhood they would inspect me for proof that I had recovered. Since I was on bed rest for the majority of the last ten weeks of my pregnancy, and because we found that my blood pressure increased whenever I had to deal with my grandmother, I only saw my grandmother once between the middle of March and the day Tia was born."

"Your grandmother is funny. Nobody takes what she says seriously", said Julie.

"I know, and normally I can see the humorous side of things and it doesn't bother me. But lately I haven't been able to bounce with things easily."

"I was talking to Livy about depression. With Mom and you both being depressed, I wanted to know about it."

"If you have any questions, you can ask me as well. I may not be able to answer questions based on typical symptoms and I definitely won't be able to answer questions based on your mother's experiences, but I can answer questions based on what I've experienced."

Julie looked down at her hands for a moment, and Ranger looked at her with a concerned look on his face. She was chewing over something in her mind, and we were both quiet as we waited for her to spit it out.

"My friend Charlene had a mother who suffered from depression. She overdosed on medication and died. Livy said that I should talk to you about it." It came out in a rush, and I could tell that Julie was very upset about it.

"I don't want to die, sweetie. I have too much to live for."

"Do you think my mother wants to die?"

"I think that is something that you should talk to her about. I know that there hasn't been anything that your mom has said that makes me think she's suicidal, but I think you should talk to her about it. When did your friend's mother die?"

"When she was a baby. Charlene said that her mother got sick when she was born, and she died a few months later."

"I'm sorry to hear that. That must have been hard for her."

"I've been scared about my mom and, when I heard that you were sick, I've been scared for you. I don't want you to die."

I captured her in a hug. "Sweetie, I'm not going to commit suicide. I have you and I have your dad propping me up. I have to be around to feed Tia. I have people who count on me and I realize that the reason you would commit suicide is because you are in so much pain that you just want the pain to stop. You don't necessarily want to die. You just want the pain to stop. In reality, however, it doesn't stop. You just transfer that pain from you onto other people. If I killed myself, you would be upset. Your dad would be upset. Tia, when she was older, would be upset. My mom and dad and grandmother and sister and nieces and nephew would be upset. My friends would be upset. It would be like an exploding missile. The shrapnel would impact lots of people, and instead of just me being upset, dozens of people would be upset and, quite frankly, I don't have the right to do that to my family and friends. You don't have to worry about me, sweetie. I'll be okay. I just might have to work a bit harder to find my smiles. I'll get through this. I have good help and, to be honest, I think I am already a bit better than I was just after Tia was born. When she was kidnapped, I broke down. I'm still putting myself back together, but I'm getting there."

"Okay. I would be very upset if something happened to you."

I smiled. "I understand. I would be upset if something happened to you."

"Livy said that I should never be worried about asking someone if they are suicidal."

"I think she's right. It's a question that a lot of people are too afraid to ask, but it's an important question to ask. I would imagine that, in some cases, just opening up the conversation about it could stop someone from committing suicide."

"Do you think I could call my mom tonight?"

"You sure can."

"I want to ask her whether she is suicidal as well. Livy said there is no point worrying about it, and it was better to talk about it. She called it the elephant in the room and it was better to get it out in the open than it was to worry about it and have nightmares about it."

"Have you been worrying about it?" said Ranger.

"Yeah. Charlene told me about her mother and told me that I should look for signs that you were going to commit suicide as well, so that got me upset. But then I started thinking about my own mother and what she's been going through. And I just worried, you know? I don't want anything to happen to her. I wanted to come up here for the summer, but I was scared to leave Mom behind."

"It makes it hard."

She sniffled. "It does."

"Do we have enough time for Julie to call Rachel before dinner?" I said to Ranger.

Ranger smiled. "We do. We still have half an hour before dinner." He turned to Julie. "How about Steph and Tia and I go into the bedroom, and you can have a private call with your mom. I think you will feel better having had a chance to talk to her, and I would feel better knowing that you weren't so worried about your mother."

Julie smiled and swiped the tears from her eyes. "Thanks, Dad."

He got to his feet, pulled me to mine, handed Julie the phone, picked up Tia, and walked with me into bedroom as he said, "come get us when you are done."


	15. Chapter 15

Julie had a long talk with her mother, and by the time she was finished, dinner was ready. "How did it go?" I asked as we sat down at the dinner table.

Julie gave a relieved smile. "Mom said the same thing you said, Steph", she said. "She said that she has too much to live for and, if she ever felt like committing suicide, she would get herself to the hospital first. We started talking about things, and Mom asked me if I would mind if she did some volunteer work when she got back from her trip. She said that Dad was giving us so much money that she didn't have to go back to work again, but that she missed getting out and about. She also said that she wasn't up to working full-time though, and even a part-time job might be too much for her. She did, however, think that one day a week was doable. She said that she had always wanted to volunteer with kids at a school, and help kids learn to read. She had been talking to Aunt Maria, and Aunt Maria said that she could use my mom in her class." Ranger's sister, Maria, was a grade one teacher in a school in Miami. "Mom asked me whether I thought that would be a problem. I told her that I thought it was a good idea. She's an awesome teacher. She taught me how to read when I was still in kindergarten, and she worked with Charlene when Charlene was in grade one. She told me once that, if she had to do it again, she would have gone to school to become a teacher."

"What did your mom do?" I asked.

"She was a library assistant", said Julie. "I think she liked her job, but she likes teaching reading more."

"What do you think about your mom volunteering?" said Ranger.

"I think it would be good for her", said Julie. "Mom loves kids, and she loves teaching reading, and mixing the two together would be a lot of fun for her. I think it would be good for her to have something in her life other than looking after Ron and me, and cleaning the house. I mean, I help her clean but in actuality my mother hates cleaning. I suggested to her that I help her more with the cleaning and she volunteer two days a week. She said that she'd start with one and see where she ends up."

"She could hire someone in to clean as well", said Ranger. "There are people out there who enjoy cleaning and have that as their job, and it makes sense to hire someone who actually enjoys the work rather than do it yourself, as long as you can afford it – and your mom can afford it. She's not extravagant with the money I give her, so there should be lots left to hire a cleaner."

"I suggested that to her, just because I know that having to clean the whole house makes her cry. She said that you didn't give her money to pay for things that she should be doing herself."

"I'll talk to her, pipsqueak. That is precisely why I am giving her as much as I am. I want your mom to be happy, and I'll do what I can to help her."

Julie looked at Ranger for a moment and thought about what he said. She cut her chicken and took a bite, then looked at Ranger again. "You are different than most divorced fathers I know", she said finally.

"How's that?" said Ranger. He looked surprised.

"Most divorced fathers are cheap with their divorced wives. They pay as little in alimony as they can. But Mom told me once that, not only do you not complain about having to pay alimony, but you have always given much, much more than you were required to. She said that you were incredibly generous."

Ranger smiled. "Your mom married me when she didn't really want to get married, and she had you when she wasn't really old enough to have a baby. She has taken good care of you and I'm grateful that she has been such a good mother to you. I try to help your mother out as much as I can. She's a good person and she deserves every penny I give her."

"Charlene says that you are rich."

"I'm doing okay. I don't know if you could say that I am rich, but I'm doing okay."

"Brittney is my best friend, and her parents split up. There's a lot of animosity between her parents. Her mother hates her stepmother and her father resents having to pay alimony to her mother. He is always bitching and bellyaching to her about the money he pays, and she says that he is always asking her how her mother is spending the money. He would never provide enough money that her mother could hire someone to help her around the house."

"That's sad", I said. "I think that they had a child together, and because of that they will be linked together for the rest of their lives. They should, to the best of their abilities, learn to get along and work out how best to raise their child together."

"But Dad gives more money that he has to in order to look after me."

"Jules, I think of it like this", said Ranger. "I will always be grateful that your mom chose to have you. She could have made the decision to abort you, but she chose to have you and I will always recognize that it wasn't the easy choice for her. I was overseas and unable to help her. The most that I could have done at the time was give as much money as I could afford to make her life easier. When I returned from overseas and started Rangeman, I had a few lean years and your mom was patient through those. She never complained when I couldn't give her as much money as I wanted to, and I was grateful for that as well. Now that I'm earning more? Why shouldn't you and your mom share in that bounty? Your mom has worked hard over the years and, as I said, she's a great mom and I've always been thankful that your mom has been as supportive of me as she has been."

"It's just different from any other divorced parent that I know."

I smiled. "It's different than any other divorced parent that I know as well", I said. "I think of Val's first husband, and Val's lucky if he pays his alimony at all, let alone on time. However, I think the way your dad is doing it is the right way to live. Your dad and your mom were married at one point, and that should never be forgotten."

"Yes, but now my mom is married to Ron."

"That doesn't mean that I shouldn't pay support to your mom for you", said Ranger. "Your mom is a careful person. She isn't spending the money frivolously on spa days three times a week or fifty pairs of shoes for herself. She largely spends the money on you and things that you benefit from."

"Cleaning doesn't benefit me", said Julie.

Ranger smiled. "Yes, it does. I'm sure you like living in a clean house. Just like a new car improves your safety or good food improves your health or a nice house in a safe neighborhood means that your school is probably safer and you can do things like go for a run worry-free. I know that your mom and Ron have talked to me before and told me that I don't have to give as much money as I do, but I look at it this way. I give a lot of my salary away. I donate twenty-five percent and that's important to me. But as much as I love to donate money, I am even happier seeing it go to people that I love. If you were living with me full-time, I would be spending more money on you. And if your mom hadn't married Ron, my alimony that I spent on her would be more. So why should I pay less just because your mom is happy with Ron and has elected to provide a stable home life to you by marrying him? That doesn't make sense to me."

"But Mom said that you provide enough money to her that we could live quite comfortably without Ron."

"Then isn't it good for you to know that your mom is with Ron because she wants to be there, rather than because she doesn't feel that she has any other choice?" said Ranger.

She thought about that for a moment and then turned to me. "What do you think about Dad giving as much as he does, Steph?"

I smiled. "If your mom was going out and buying street drugs with it, I would have a problem with it. If your mom were spending it on male hookers or going to strip clubs and tucking hundred dollar bills into men's underwear, then yeah – I'd have a problem with it. Your mom, however, is spending the money on realistic and needed things. She is spending it the way it was meant, to support you and to make her life a little easier. I'm happy that your dad provides as much money as he does. Your mom and Ron deserve it."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" said Julie. She looked like she was having trouble believing it.

I laughed. "Sweetie, I will always try to be honest with you as much as I can. And I honestly think that giving as much to your mom is the right thing for your dad to do. I like your mother, which makes it easier for me to say that. I have a lot of respect for your mom, and I count her as one of my good friends, and I'm happy that we are able to help out."

"I heard Mom say that you gave Mom and Ron money towards their European trip this summer."

Ranger smiled. "I'm thrilled that your mom and Ron are going on their trip, and I wanted to make sure they had enough money to do everything they wanted to do. If that meant that they flew first class, then it was worth giving them the money. If it means they can stay in a castle overnight, then it is worth giving them the money. I wanted them to have the trip that they weren't able to afford when they got married."

"What happens if you start to earn less money?" said Julie.

Ranger smiled. "Then I would give less again to your mom, and I know that your mom is such an understanding and cooperative person that she'd accept the change in circumstances. However, I can't imagine ever giving less to your mom. I'm doing well, Jules, and I like to share the wealth with your mom and Ron. That's important to me."

Julie looked at Ranger and me as she finished her dinner. "You're weird", she said. She smiled suddenly. "But I'm grateful for it. Brittney's mom always struggles with money. Mom gives me an allowance each week for the chores that I do, and I always have enough to do what I want, whether it is to buy people presents or give money to charity."

Ranger smiled. "You give money to charity?"

"Mom gives me twenty dollars a week to do my chores, and she says that ten percent of that I need to give to charity."

"What charity do you usually give to?" said Ranger.

"I go to the grocery store once a month and buy food for the food bank", said Julie. "I think good food and enough food is important. I often spend more like twenty-five percent of my allowance, but I believe in what I do. Mom said that, this fall, she would go with me to help pack food for people during the Thanksgiving and Christmas drives. You have to be fourteen to be allowed to do that, and I turn fourteen in September."

Ranger smiled. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm proud that you are my daughter."


	16. Chapter 16

We instituted our new routine the next morning. Ranger and Julie got up when Tia wanted her five-thirty feed, changed her and brought her to me to eat her breakfast while they got ready and had a quick bite to eat of their own. After getting ready, they went for a run while I fell back to sleep, and by the time that they were back from their run Tia was asleep again. Ranger undressed her and placed her on my chest and I cuddled with Tia as they headed down to the gym for a sparring and weight workout. Ranger and Julie practiced some of the new moves that Ranger had taught the day before, and he said that Julie was getting good at them.

When they came up, I was still sleeping with Tia on my chest. She'd slept well and was probably getting ready for her second breakfast of the day. It had been, after all, two hours since she had last fed.

Julie called first shower, and Ranger came and sat on the side of the bed. "Hey", he said softly as I opened my eyes and smiled at him. "How are you?"

"Good. You?"

Ranger searched my face, looking for the lie, and he looked relieved when he realized that I felt a bit better than the day before. Ranger had looked after Tia again throughout the night, but this time I had been prepared to be depressed when I woke up. I felt just as down, but I wasn't criticizing myself for feeling that way. I didn't feel as much like a failure, and that change in attitude made a huge difference.

"Good", he said with a smile. "I had a great workout with Julie. I think it is her martial arts background, but she is getting the hang of krav maga quickly. Yesterday, in our class, she didn't know as much as everyone else. But today, when I was sparring with her, she had absorbed the lessons from yesterday and had obviously been watching the other students since she was able to do things today that she hadn't been able to do previously."

I smiled. "God, I'm proud of her."

Ranger smiled. "So am I. By the end of the summer, I bet that she'll even be able to take Tank down. She's that good, and she learns that fast. While we were doing weights today, Mellie and Tank came in for a sparring session. Mellie is doing well in her lessons too, and Tank and I arranged for Julie and Mellie to practice sparring against each other every day for fifteen minutes or so. So now I will be sparring with her for half an hour, then we'll be doing weights, and finally Julie will do fifteen minutes sparring with Mellie. She'll be at a disadvantage since she'll be tired, but Mellie said that she'll do her weight workout while Julie and I are sparring and she'll go for a run while Julie and I are doing our weight workout, just so that she will also be tired. Julie and Mellie are both small people, so they will be a good match as they both learn."

"That sounds great."

"Miles said that you are going in for a training session today?"

"Yes. I go every Tuesday and Thursday, and sessions with Livy every Monday and Friday, although I am seeing Gabriel this week on Wednesday as well. He'll be reviewing my prescription with me and judging whether I will need an increase."

"And do you think you will?"

"Livy thought I probably would. After all, I've been on this medication for three weeks now and although I have noticed some changes, they have been slight and I really have to search for them. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if it is a placebo effect or whether I actually am getting better."

"I hope you feel better soon. I hate seeing you so sick."

I smiled suddenly. "So do I."

Ranger thought about smiling. "It's hard for me, because I am so happy. I have everything that I ever wanted. I'm married to you, Julie is up for the summer, and Tia is healthy and happy. My life is just about perfect."

I smiled. "That's the thing that gets me frustrated. I know that my life is perfect. Everything is going the way I have always dreamed and I know that I'm content and wouldn't want to change anything. I just have a crushing despair weighing me down and it is very frustrating. It gets me angry at myself."

"Babe, there is no point getting angry about it. It just is and you are dealing with it as well as you can." He smoothed my hair away from my face and cupped my cheek with his hand. He rubbed my cheekbone with his thumb. "I'm impressed that you have been able to handle it as well as you have. Gabriel tried to explain to me what it was like. Like Livy did with Julie, he went over the symptoms. I looked them up as well. The description that resonated the most with me was that it was like swimming upstream through molasses. Everything is an effort. The person said that even just breathing required too much energy to do, and she wasn't sure how she was able to keep her lungs inflating and deflating. At times, it seemed impossible. Is that how you feel?"

"Yes. Everything's a struggle and it feels like I will never feel better again. However, Livy assures me that I will, and I have confidence in what she has said. Gabriel has also assured me that I will start to feel better with a bit of time and with the medication having a chance to work. I'm choosing to focus on that."

"Gabriel said that one of the symptoms is feeling hopeless."

"Yes. It feels like I've fallen down a deep, black, cold hole. There are no toeholds to climb out, and I keep sliding down the sides of the rock again to the bottom. That's why I appreciate the fact that you keep standing beside me and cheering me on."

"That's how I feel about my PTSD. You are my strengrh. You never let me give up."

"That's me. I'm jumping up and down, pom-poms waving. But I'm a sexy cheerleader. I mean, if we are daydreaming, I can be a sexy cheerleader, can't I?"

"You will always be sexy in my eyes."

"I actually meant, if we were daydreaming, I could be a cheerleader, couldn't I?"

"You'll always be my cheerleader." He smiled. "And you definitely are my sexy cheerleader."

I grinned. "I'll have to get some pom-poms."

"That is so hot. Do you think you could be my sexy, naked cheerleader as well?"

I smiled. "Down, soldier boy. We have another two-and-a-bit weeks to go."

Ranger smiled softly. "I'm counting down, babe."


	17. Chapter 17

My parents lived in a semi-detached house in the Burg, a working-class neighborhood in Trenton that was originally settled by a large Italian population. Over the years the demographics of the neighborhood had changed. Currently, there was a large Latino population in the area. I liked the way the neighborhood had evolved over time, but had still essentially stayed the same.

My parents' house was the pale yellow half of an Easter egg house or, at least, that's what the combination of the lime green neighbor with the pale yellow of my parents' house always reminded me of. There were flowers planted alongside the cracked walkway up to their front door. Like the neighborhood, my parents' house had evolved over time. For years, it had been mustard yellow on top and brown on the bottom. With the lime green house next door, it had looked like a train wreck – but it was my train wreck. About a year ago, though, a skip sprayed graffiti over the siding and my mother jumped at the opportunity to repaint the house. Like the change in demographics in the neighborhood, the color change didn't affect the love that my parents' house had always characterized.

My parents' house was small, twelve hundred square feet in total, and comprised of seven rooms including the one bathroom on the second floor. It had been my home for the first twenty-one years of my life. It was now home to my grandmother in addition to my mother and father. She had been a relatively recent addition to the household, and was one that I'm not sure my mother and father appreciated. Although they seemed to take their new living arrangements in stride, you could periodically hear my father muttering under his breath about the crazy old bat and I had noticed that my mother attended church far more frequently than she had prior to my grandmother moving in. I don't know whether she was praying for strength to be able to tolerate my grandmother, or whether she was praying for my grandmother to pass on. Perhaps it was both.

The doors and windows of the house were open to the scant breeze blowing through, and my older nieces, Angie and Mary Alice, were out playing hopscotch. They ran over to the car when we pulled up, and excitedly said hello to Julie. Mary Alice neighed and stamped her foot, and Julie patted her on her head. "Good horsie", she said. Mary Alice grinned.

I got out of the car as Ranger took Tia's car seat out of the back. He carried the infant carrier up to the house as I brought the diaper bag, and seconds later we were entering the house. My dad wasn't yet home from his runs with his regular fares from the train station. We were a little early, and I didn't expect my father to be home for another twenty minutes. However, my mom had called earlier in the day to request that we come a little early. Apparently Angie and Mary Alice were already driving her nuts. They had kept saying that they were bored and didn't want to stay at home during the summer. Apparently, most of their friends were attending camp and they had wanted to go to camp as well. That wasn't, however, something Val could afford.

We gave my mom and grandmother each a kiss on their cheek, and my mother smiled and unhooked Tia from her car seat. She lifted her up and snuggled her. "Hey, baby", she said softly. "You are growing so fast. Look at you. You're getting to be a big girl." Tia waved her arms in excitement and grabbed hold of my mother's hair and pulled, and my mother winced. She started to laugh. "She's got a powerful grip", she said.

Ranger and I laughed. "There are times when I'm glad that I have short hair", said Ranger. "I wonder sometimes how Steph isn't bald just judging by the number of times Tia pulls her hair."

"Now can I try kangaroo care on Tia?" said my grandmother. She moved to take her top off. When I was in the hospital with Tia, my grandmother visited and saw that we were doing kangaroo care with her. She immediately wanted to do kangaroo care then as well and had started to disrobe to do so. We were able to stop her, but we frustrated and angered my grandmother in doing so.

"Ma!" said my mother. "Keep your shirt on." She turned to us. "I would assume by bringing her here that you are now able to take her out of the house?"

"We just received approval to take her out of the house two days ago", I said. "Ranger and Julie have been taking her for a run each morning and letting me sleep. I've appreciated it greatly."

"I bet", said my mom.

"Val could use that kind of support in her life", said my grandmother. "She's finding it tough."

"I know", I said. "However, she had that sort of support in her life and she threw it away. I'm sorry that she now regrets that."

"Albert was a putz", said my grandmother. "Val could do much better than him."

"Grandma! How can you say that? Albert is a kind and caring man who treated Val as if she was the most important person in the world. He put up with her bitchiness and her bad attitude. Yes, he didn't make a lot of money. But he thought the world rose and set on her, and she will never find someone who loves her more. In return, she made him feel insignificant and small. She never took the time to tell him that she appreciated him, and she never took the time to thank him for everything he did for her. She compared him to Ranger and regularly pointed out the areas that she found him lacking. While he was good for her self-confidence, she pulled down his and made him feel worthless. Leaving her, while upsetting, might be the best thing that happened to him. To be honest, this might be the best thing for Val as well. It might make her better appreciate the good things that happen in her life, rather than how she currently takes them for granted."

Grandma turned to Ranger. "Val doesn't earn much money and she doesn't like her job at the clothing store. Could you give Val a job at Rangeman? I mean, if Steph can do a good job at Rangeman, I'm sure Val could as well. She's smart and would learn quickly."

I swallowed back the upset at my grandmother's words. Like most people, she naturally assumed that I wasn't as smart or as talented as Val. She assumed that I was a failure and, if I could excel at something, she assumed that Val could do even better.

Ranger slung his arm over my shoulder, and I appreciated the unspoken support. "Steph got a job with Rangeman because of her bounty hunting background", said Ranger. "She had the qualifications I needed to do the job that I had available and, to be honest, Steph is the best researcher I have ever seen. She's a natural. Val, however, doesn't have the qualifications. She isn't a bounty hunter, nor does she have her degree in criminal studies. She isn't a librarian or a computer hacker. She isn't a forensic accountant or a financial analyst. She graduated with a philosophy degree. I'm not sure what one does with a philosophy degree, but she needs to look for a job in her chosen field. Researching for my company isn't it."

"But surely the skills she learned in college would allow her to excel as a researcher."

"I don't see how", said Ranger. "Steph's team either comes from a researching background or a financial background. They are trained in either looking for information or analyzing companies to determine their weaknesses and strengths."

"But you said Steph was good at researching", said my grandmother.

"Yes, she is. One of the functions of our research department is the development of capture plans for felons who have skipped the system. Those capture plans identify likely locations and times that the felon can be picked up. Steph is our most talented researcher to do this work. Her years of being a bounty hunter have given her a sixth sense about things, and have helped her identify the most appropriate places to look. Val doesn't have that experience or those abilities. I'm sorry, Edna, but there just isn't anywhere within Rangeman that would be suitable for Val to work."

My grandmother's face turned red. "She's your sister-in-law now. You should make a space for her."

Ranger smiled. I personally didn't know how he was still smiling. I was about ready to hit my grandmother myself. But then, didn't Livy tell me that irritability was a symptom of depression?

Of course, was it a symptom if that irritability was justified?

"I may be her brother-in-law, but I am a businessman first and foremost and I have to run my company like a business. Hiring any person who isn't qualified to do the job is an asinine thing to do. It doesn't make good business sense and would negatively influence the team dynamics, as well as make the unqualified person that we hired feel stupid. If we hired Val, it would work to pull down her self-esteem. No amount of money that I could offer her would be worth that."

Grandma turned red in anger. "You are a putz as well."

Ranger shook his head. "Next time, tell Val to do the dirty work herself. She wouldn't have had a different answer, but I would have respected her more for having the courage to ask me in person."

"She's very prideful", said Grandma. "I can understand that. I'm very prideful as well."

"What do they say? Pride goeth before a fall?" I said. "Sometimes you have to swallow your pride to get ahead in life."

"I know", said Grandma. "It's hard to swallow your pride though."

"That's true", said my mother in a sing-song. She made a funny face at Tia, and Tia waved her arms in glee. "However, everyone has to sometimes."

"Are you saying that Val should have asked herself?" said Grandma.

"Sometimes a little humility goes a long way", said my mom.

"Val is very humble", said my grandmother. "She is always telling us how humble she is."

"It's funny. I've always thought that humility was one of those things that you can't really brag about", I said.


	18. Chapter 18

At five minutes to six, Val came flying through the door. My father was sitting in the living room holding Tia. She had been fed just half an hour earlier and after she'd been burped my father had taken over holding her. Tia liked this arrangement, and she gurgled and cooed to him as he talked quietly to her. I couldn't tell what he was saying, but she certainly seemed to find it interesting.

My mom was very happy that my father was getting a chance to hold his granddaughter. She kept looking over at him and smiling, and I could see why. My father had always liked children. It was one of the things that my parents had in common. However, my sister for some unknown reason had kept her kids away from my father. He wasn't close to any of Val's kids as a result, and I think my father greatly missed that. I had asked him once how he envisioned being a grandfather, and he had told me that having his grandchild sit on his knee and snuggle with him while he taught him or her about whatever sports game was on the television at the time was what he imagined. I know he'd been looking forward to that, so having Val keep the kids away from him had to hurt.

It wasn't like he'd done anything to deserve it. He was a loving man, although a bit reserved. But he cared deeply about his family and would do anything to help his family out. Val seemed to conveniently forget that it was my parents that let her move into the house when she came back from California, and it was my parents that let Albert move in with them when Albert and Val were first together and didn't have enough money to rent a house of their own. My parents – both my mother and my father – had always been good to her.

As Val came in the door, little Lisa and Victoria ran to her side and begged to be picked up, and Edmund crawled over to her and pulled on her pant leg. "Hi", she said with a smile as she gave all her kids big smacking kisses. Lisa and Victoria laughed. She picked up Edmund and blew a raspberry on his tummy. He laughed and pulled her hair. She winced.

"Hey, Val", I said. "How are you doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing?" she said bitterly. "My feet hurt and I'm tired of smiling. I'm working six days a week now and I still can't get ahead of the bills. I can't find a job that values my degree, and I have a husband who refuses to talk to me. This is all your fault."

"My fault? How is this my fault?"

"If you hadn't told him that I was unhappy, he would never have left me. We would still be together and I wouldn't be juggling everything and trying to keep all the balls in the air."

"But you were unhappy with Albert and you had let him know that. If you hadn't let him know, he would never have believed that you were unhappy. I mean, if someone told me that Ranger was unhappy in our marriage, I would never believe them. Ranger tells me daily how happy he is and how grateful he is that I married him. He makes me feel good about myself. When was the last time you made Albert feel good about himself?"

"It's not my job to build my spouse up."

"Are you kidding? It's entirely your job to build your spouse up. I would be devastated if something happened to Ranger, and I tell him frequently that I love him. I tell him frequently that I need him and that I can't live without him."

"I told Albert that I loved him."

"But did you tell him that you couldn't live without him? Did you make him understand that he was the most important person in your life and without him you would never be happy?"

"I don't even know if that is true."

"Then maybe you are better apart."

Grandma came over to us. "I asked Ranger, Val. He said that he doesn't have any positions open for someone with a philosophy degree."

Val sighed. "No one has any positions open for someone with a philosophy degree. I never really realized how hard it would be to find a job with the degree I have."

"What kind of job did you think that you'd be able to get with a philosophy degree?" I said. "I mean, I haven't looked in the classifieds recently, but I don't ever remember anyone wanting a philosophy degree."

"I took the courses because they looked interesting. I had a bit of a 'build it and they will come' philosophy to my life, no pun intended. However, employers all want specific degrees and many people want master's degrees. If they don't want specific degrees, they want experience. I have neither the hoped-for degree nor the years of experience. Apparently, wiping snotty noses and keeping your house clean doesn't count for anything in today's world."

"Why don't you become something like a individual support worker?" I said. "With the aging population, I'm sure there are lots of jobs open to help those people who are older."

"Does it pay a lot?"

"I haven't got a clue", I said. "However, it's the only job that I can think of that would use the experience you have."

"Dinner is ready", said my mother.

Val herded her kids upstairs to wash their hands, and I washed my hands at the kitchen sink. In a nod to how hot it was, my mother had made meatballs in sauce in the crock pot, with rice, green beans and a salad to accompany the meal. It looked good.

We dished up our meals and carried them out to the table. Ranger had put Tia in her car seat to kick and stretch, and had placed the car seat within view of my dad. Not only was there the most space there, but Tia seemed to be bonding with my dad. To the other side of Tia was Ranger, and between Ranger and me were Julie, Mary Alice and Angie. My grandmother and Val and the rest of her kids were to the other side of the table. We were squished in, despite my mom adding on both leaves of the table.

My mother looked out at the table as she finished saying grace. "Your dad and I were thinking that we need to buy a bigger table", she said. "One, perhaps, that has four leaves instead of two. If Albert joins us again, and if Steph and Ranger have more children, we won't all fit. As it is, we are squished in."

"It's okay, Grammy", said Julie. "We don't mind being a little close to each other. The most important thing is that we are all together." My mother beamed.

"It's a little hot to be so close together", said my grandmother. "I can't believe how hot it is already. It is only the middle of June. I mean, it smells like B.O. in here."

Julie laughed. "This isn't hot. You should feel Miami at this time of the year. My mom said yesterday that it was ninety-two degrees. But it's not the heat that's the problem. It gets very sticky there, and the humidity makes it feel much hotter than the temperature on the thermometer. Right now, I'm going for a run in the morning with Dad and it is quite pleasant. It is fairly cool in the morning and it's not very sticky. If I had been at home, going for a run at any time of the day wouldn't be enjoyable."

"I can agree with that", said Ranger. "I lived in Miami for several years, and it wasn't the most fun running in the summer. It was far too sticky and hot."

"When did you live there?" said my grandmother.

I looked at him and hoped that he didn't mention the fact that he went there after he got out of juvie. While I personally didn't care, I didn't want my grandmother knowing. She would take a simple carjacking and embellish his crime until he was a mass murderer. Julie looked at me and opened her mouth, and I surreptitiously shook my head at her. I looked at my grandmother, then looked back at her, and in testament to how quick-witted Julie was, she understood what I was telling her and shut her mouth again.

"I lived there when I was in my teens", said Ranger. "It was, in fact, where I met Rachel, Julie's mom. I hooked up with her when I was on my first leave from the army. The rest, as they say, is history. We conceived Julie and got married, and having Julie was one of the three best things to happen to me in my life." He put his arm over his daughter's shoulders and pulled her into him for a moment. He kissed her on the top of her head. "Love you, pipsqueak", he said.

Julie beamed. "Love you too, Dad."

Mary Alice watched them and looked sad. "I miss Albert", she said. "He loved us as well, and he told us that all the time."

"Mary Alice, shush", said Angie. "You'll make Mom cry again."

Val glared at Mary Alice. "Albert has left us", she said, "and we all have to accept that."

"Can't you tell him that you are sorry, Mom?" said Mary Alice. "Maybe if you told him that you were sorry, he might come back."

"Mary Alice!" said Angie.

Mary Alice turned to her sister. "Don't pretend that you haven't thought the same thing. We wrote that letter to Albert together, and we apologized together for anything that we had done to make him leave. He didn't come back and when he looked after us last weekend he said that we hadn't done anything to make him leave. The babies are too young to have done anything to make him leave, so that just leaves Mom. Maybe he would come back if she wrote him a letter like we did. He seemed to like our letter. It made him cry, but he liked it."

"It's not a bad idea", I said to Val. "Mary Alice may be on to something."

Val slammed her napkin down on the table and stood up. "What do you know?" she said. "You have your perfect husband and your perfect family and your perfect life. What do you know about being married to someone who isn't perfect?"

I stared at her in shock. "No one is perfect", I said.

Ranger looked around the table and took in the heightened emotions and smiled. "Although I'm as close to perfect as they come", he said.

It worked to break the ice. I grinned at him in gratitude as everyone except Val laughed. "All that perfection and modest, too", I said. Val stormed away from the table with tears in her eyes.

"What can I say?" said Ranger. "When you've got it, you've got it."

Julie turned to Mary Alice and Angie. "Did Dad ever teach you his famous way of eating meatballs?"

I looked at Ranger and laughed as he choked and turned red.


	19. Chapter 19

The doorbell rang and Val answered it, and soon called out to my mother that there was someone at the door for her.

My mom walked through to the front of the house. "Hello", she said in surprise. "I'm glad you're here. I want my money back."

I stopped eating and looked at Ranger as we listened. "I've heard that someone reported me to the police for fraud", said a man. "I wasn't committing fraud. I was in a car accident with your equipment and couldn't show up. I'm not going to charge you for the lost equipment but I will need another four hundred dollars to cover the initial outlay that I need to make to replace the equipment. That money will, of course, come off your final bill."

"That's ballsy", I said to Ranger. He nodded in agreement.

I heard my mother get angry. I've heard her get frustrated several times in my life. I've heard her get panicky and I've heard her get exasperated. But it was rare to hear her get angry.

"Do you think I was born yesterday?" she said. "When you didn't show up, I had my daughter look into your life. She works at Rangeman and is one of the best researchers they have on staff. Stephanie said that you not only were bilking me of money, but that you had done it to ninety-five other people as well, and that was just on your Ravi Assam persona. You had bilked other people under other aliases. You are a despicable man. And then you come around here and ask me for more money? I don't think so. I want my money back."

"I don't know what you are talking about", he said. "I haven't bilked anyone of any money. I honestly was in an accident and lost your equipment. I will still install the water filtration system in your house. I just need a little more money."

Ranger put his napkin down beside his plate and stood. He walked out to the front of the house and glared at the man. "I don't think you've been listening", he said, "so let me take the wool out from your ears. Helen has said that she doesn't need the water filtration system after all, and that the city reported that they hadn't authorized anyone to go around selling water filtration systems. She has said that she has talked to the police and that you have been charged with fraud. And most importantly, she has said that she is not giving you more money and wants her original twelve hundred back, with interest. Now you have a choice. You can go away, or you can give Helen her money back and have one less charge of fraud on your record. Since Helen is the main impetus behind your arrest, paying her back may be the most expedient way for you to get your charges dropped."

Tia started to fuss, and I got up from the table and picked her up as Grandma started to sing her an off-color song called 'Pick 'em, Lick 'em, Stick 'em'. My father looked horrified and Angie and Mary Alice looked entranced. I told my grandmother to shush but, when she wouldn't and I couldn't hear what was being said at the front door, I carried Tia into the living room and looked out the door as I rocked her in my arms, and I watched the scene as it unfolded.

Paul looked at Ranger and thought for a moment. "If you are sure you don't want the system", he said, "I can of course refund you the money. I have to pay in cash though. I don't have any checks left on this account."

"That will be fine", said Ranger. "I anticipate that we'll be seeing you within half an hour with the money and, if you don't show up, we'll report you to the police to report your additional attempts at fraud."

"Of course", said Paul faintly.

I could hear him walk away from the house as Ranger escorted my mother back in, and Ranger came back through to the dining room. "This dinner is amazing", he said. "What's in the sauce that you used on the meatballs?"

My mother was shaking but she answered Ranger's question and, as she did, her nerves settled down and she smiled at him. "Thanks", she said.

Ranger smiled slightly. "You shouldn't have to deal with that crap."

Val ran upstairs in tears, and Mary Alice and Angie sighed. Angie moved to her feet, and I looked at her. "Sit and enjoy your dinner, sweetie. I'll go."

I handed Tia to Ranger, and Ranger looked at me. "Are you sure?" he said.

"No", I said, "but I'm going anyway."

My mother looked at Ranger and me, and her eyes tightened. She knew something was up, and I thought about all those times before, when my mother had been drinking and a little too sloshed to pick up on the nuances around the table. There was something good about her being tipsy, and without the alcohol dulling her senses she was far too observant. We would have to do a reckoning with her soon. If she didn't get the story from us before we left, my guess is that she would be calling me from the basement to find out what was going on within the next twenty-four hours – and if she could get away from my grandmother, likely before we went to bed that night.

I ran up the stairs to the bedroom. Val was stretched out over the guest bed and crying her eyes out. "Hey, Val", I said. "What's going on?" I sat on the bed, leaned against the headboard, and stretched my feet out. I looked around the room. It was the same room that I had grown up in. Yes, there were new curtains and a new bedspread on the bed, but the same furniture, even the same wallpaper was on the walls. It was comforting and had a feel of returning to the womb.

"I'm a failure of a person."

"I don't think so. You have five kids under the age of sixteen who think the world rises and sets on you. You're a good mom and a good person."

"I can't even get a decent job."

"You're selling people clothing. That's a good job. I've had some doozies of jobs in the past. Trust me, working in a clothing store is a much better job than some that I've had."

"It's a plus-size shop."

"So? Plus-sized people need clothes, and you have a good sense of what clothes coordinate with others. I can see that you'll do well. Even better news is that it's a chain and they may have an opening soon for a store manager. Then you'll be able to use your degree."

"I had just always wanted better."

"I know, but sometimes better doesn't come in life. And when it doesn't? You have to make do with what you have, and enjoy every minute of life's gifts."

"It's always so easy for you. Everything just falls into your lap."

I barked out a laugh. "Val, that's not even close to being true. I've had to struggle for everything I've had. In school, everything you tried you excelled in. You were the kid who was on the honor roll, the kid who got into every club and team you tried out for, the kid who didn't have acne, braces or period cramps. You sailed through school. I had to work my ass off for every small gain I made. Not only did I have acne, braces and period cramps, but thanks to Grandma I became known as the town slut." My grandmother had written on bathroom stalls and planted the seeds to say that I had slept with the entire football team when I was in my junior year. Unfortunately, many people believed it. The kind of guy I could attract after that fiasco was entirely not the kind of guy that I had wanted to attract. They were the 'here for a good time, not a long time' kind of guys, and each boy I dated expected me to give out. When I didn't, they passed around the story that I had because they didn't want to be known as the only guy I refused to sleep with. The story took on a life of its own and ruined my high school experience.

"Well, if you are going to sleep with the entire football team, what do you think is going to happen? The guys on the team talk to each other and share stories. That's why I never slept with anyone on the team."

I stared at her. "Val, I never slept with anyone on the team. I have only slept with three men in my life. Morelli, Dickie and Ranger. I'm not what you'd call experienced. Did you honestly believe the crap that Grandma was passing around?"

"That story originated with Grandma?"

"Yes. She made it up. She said she was increasing my reputation since you'd had several boyfriends and I'd had none, and you were at the time going out with Craig Snaggle, the guy I'd had a crush on. In reality though, all the nice guys stayed away from me from that point on. It was a disaster, and no one believed me when I denied being a slut."

"It backfired for me as well. Craig couldn't understand why I wouldn't put out for him when you put out for everybody, and he broke up with me. For me, he was the one that got away. I had really liked him."

"Grandma means well, but she creates so many problems."

"Did you hear her latest story?"

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

I sighed. "Hit me."

"Grandma said that you were the one to have stolen the baby at the hospital and that you blamed that other woman." When Tia was born, a psych patient escaped her floor and stole Tia from the nursery. She left the hospital and stashed Tia in a dresser drawer in her dead mother's house. Tia almost died and it was only through the grace of God that we found her in time to save her.

The woman had thought that Tia was hers. She had delivered a baby a few months before and the baby had died. Her husband died the same day in a car accident, and the woman had broken down. In her eyes, she was caring for her baby and her husband was just about to come home to see them.

It was a sad case, but it seemed to have kickstarted the woman's recovery. The last we had talked to the doctor, he said she was finally responding to treatment and was making great strides. I fully intended to take Tia to visit her when she was better. I thought that seeing Tia well and happy would also aid in her recovery. I personally would find such a visit hard, but that didn't matter. It was the right thing to do.

"That's not even possible", I said. "I think the hospital would notice if my baby died and then I claimed another woman's baby as my own."

Val smiled. "They didn't notice it when that other woman took Tia, did they?"

I sighed again. "Grandma should write stories for the tabloids", I said. "She could come up with the most interesting scandals, and they would have a small kernel of truth to each one."

"A very small kernel", said Val in agreement.


	20. Chapter 20

By the time Val and I had finished talking, dinner was over and the older kids had gone outside to play hopscotch again. Tia had fallen asleep and Val's and my half-finished dinners were still at the table. "Thanks for saving dinner, Mom", I said.

"I didn't want you to be hungry", said my mother. "There's Vienna cookies and ice cream for dessert as well. I gave each of the kids an ice cream cone and sent them outside to play."

Val ate some more of her dinner. "I might skip the ice cream", she said. "I'm still trying to lose those last thirty pounds from Edmund's birth."

"I hear you", I said. "However, I think of it this way. Ice cream is dairy, and dairy is healthy to eat. I need to replace the calcium in my bones. So I'm actually doing myself a favor by eating ice cream."

Ranger laughed. "You always have an angle."

"Don't you agree with me?" I said with a grin. "After all, I didn't have milk with dinner. Eating some dairy at every meal is good for me."

Ranger smiled. "Is that why you take so much cream in your coffee?"

"Yes – dairy! See? I used to have six cups of coffee in a day. Now I'm just having two, and I have to condense all that dairy down into two cups. It's important to drink as much cream as I do in my coffee."

Ranger laughed again.

"You could stand to lose a few pounds", said Grandma to Val. "Steph is losing hers quickly, but you need to work harder at losing yours."

Val sobbed in a breath and I looked at her in support. "Grandma", I said as I turned to her, "you are hurting Val's feelings and there is no need for it."

"I've started drinking my coffee black", said Val as she tried to switch the subject.

"You know what they say", said Grandma, "once you go black, you never go back."

I laughed. "Better watch it, Val. I can see the headline on the front page of the Burg Beaver. 'Plum daughter goes black'."

"Oh, that's good", said my grandmother.

"Ma!" said my mother.

"I heard your recent story, Grandma", I said. "You need to reverse the damage. Tia is Ranger's and my daughter, and you can't go around telling people that I stole her from the nursery. The real story is shocking enough. You don't need to change it or tell lies. People will shun me and think that I'm a child abductor, and they will take their kids to the other side of the street when they see me coming again. That's upsetting enough. I had to put up with that when you told everyone that I killed people for sport, and that I was a mass murderer that simply got away with my actions. However, when other kids won't play with Tia when she's older because they will think that I'm a child abductor, I will blame you when she comes home crying."

"People are so silly", said my grandmother. "It's not even possible."

"That may be, Grandma", I said, "but people don't always think when they hear gossip. In fact, most people are so fascinated by the information that they turn their brains off and just enjoy the drama of the story. While they might understand on some visceral level that it is impossible, the story catches their imagination and takes hold as being true."

"I can still pass around the story that you had a lobotomy that went wrong", said Ranger. We had told Grandma a couple of months before that, if she continued to spread wild stories, we would spread one of our own to explain her penchant for making up gossip. Since Grandma tells the stories to focus the attention on her and the story of the lobotomy would make her an object of pity, she wasn't so fond of that idea.

Grandma looked crestfallen. "Okay, I won't spread stories", she said.

I schooled my expression into a stern one as I saw her peeking up through her eyelashes at me, as I saw her trying to observe a softening in my stance. Mentally, however, I was sighing. I knew that I might have made an impression at the moment but that, as soon as Ranger and I left, my grandmother would have forgotten her promise and would be back up to her old tricks.

Ranger helped my mother and grandmother do the dishes as Val and I finished our dinners and ate our dessert. Despite Val's insistence that she needed to avoid the ice cream, she had a double helping. Of course, so did I. As I had said to Ranger, it was dairy and I maintained that it was good for me.

By the time the dishes were done, Tia and Edmund were starting to get fussy. Ranger and I elected to take Tia home while Val elected to give her kids a bath at my mom's so that, if they fell asleep on the ride home, she would be able to put them straight to bed. Personally, I couldn't imagine them falling asleep so fast. My sister just lived two streets over from my mother. I wasn't complaining though. It got me out of staying at my parents', and I'd just about had enough.

As we pulled away from the curb, Ranger said, "you okay?"

"Yeah", I said. "I'm just tired of the drama that characterizes my family. My family has too many people for the size of the house. It's chaotic and confusing, and I get so overwhelmed that I want to cry. I like the much saner and infinitely quieter home life that we have."

Ranger smiled. "Part of that is the depression though, isn't it? I mean, your home life has always been chaotic and confusing and overwhelming, but in the past you were able to cope with it without a problem."

"I thought that there was something wrong with me, that after being away from my family for the last three months I had lost the knack of spending time with them."

Ranger reached across and picked up my hand and squeezed it gently. "There's nothing wrong with you", he said. "You just have developed a biochemical imbalance that you are now undergoing treatment to reverse. That's okay to find your family a little tough to handle. We'll get through this together, the four of us, a team."

"Yeah, Steph", said Julie. "I have to agree though, your family is chaotic and confusing. They are like caricatures of real life people. Val is the jealous bitch who peaked early in school, the high school queen that doesn't want to leave her glory days. Your grandmother is the imaginative little sister, the class clown who is always trying to get attention. Your mother is the stalwart center of the family and is the glue that holds the whole family together. Your father is your mother's support. The kids are learning from the adults and taking their roles. Mary Alice is the next generation of your grandmother, Angie is peaking early and is like your sister, and the babies are, at this point, still just babies. They each are just playing roles, and their roles are more defined in your family than they are in most. The person I feel bad for is your mom."

"Why's that?" I asked, although privately I also felt sorry for my mom. However, I was interested in finding out why Julie felt that way.

"Your mom is desperately trying to keep the family together. She is holding up your sister, holding up the kids, and is trying to give your grandmother the attention that she craves. Luckily, she needs to be needed. I know you haven't told her about your depression, but you might want to consider it. She will try to be a good support for you and, in all honesty, she prides herself on being a support to her family. If you don't tell her, it will be like saying that she is unable to carry the load and I think she'll be hurt."

Out of the mouths of babes.

"Yes", said Ranger, "but this is your health and you can tell whomever you wish. You don't have to share about your depression if you don't want to. This is your story to tell or not tell."

"I think I'll treat it the same way that I treated the preeclampsia. I'll tell my mom, tell her that she can tell my dad, and ask her not to tell Val or my grandmother."

"If that's what you want to do", said Ranger, "I'll support that."

Julie nodded. "I think that makes sense. If you told your grandmother, she would circulate a story about you trying to murder Tia in her sleep."

"Or worse", I said, "Tia trying to murder me."

Julie laughed.


	21. Chapter 21

We followed the same pattern the next morning that we had done the day before. Ranger and Julie waited while I fed Tia at five-thirty, then put her in the stroller and took her for an hour run. I slept, and when they got back they carried Tia into the apartment and deposited her on the bed beside me. I pulled her into my body for a cuddle. I had been having a nightmare about horrible headlines about me in gossip magazines, and was glad to have been woken for the comfort of snuggling with Tia.

Ranger and Julie came in an hour and a half later, and Ranger let Julie have first shower again. He made some coffee and carried through a mug of the brew for me. As he kissed me good morning, my nose picked up the scent and I grinned. I sat up, and I could hear Ranger smile as he put the drink into my outstretched hands. "Hey", he said softly. "How are you?"

"Better now that I have coffee", I said.

Ranger chuckled softly and brushed my hair away from my face to tuck it behind my ears. "Today is your appointment with Gabriel, right?"

"Yes, it is. I meet with him at ten for a consultation. I'm hoping he increases my medication."

"Are you still keeping a mood chart?"

"I have. That was something that Livy started me doing a month before Tia was born. It's interesting to look back and see the different moods."

"If you ever wanted to share that with me, I'd be interested in seeing it as well", said Ranger.

"You want to see my Daylio chart?" I looked at him in surprise.

"I'd like to see what you are up against", said Ranger.

I looked at him for a moment, unsure as to what I should do. "If I show you, you have to promise that you won't get upset. It essentially is just pictures of emoticons and I pick which picture best describes my mood, and the emoticons are divided into one of five colors. Orange for extremely happy – I haven't had any of those – and green for regularly happy. I haven't had any of those either. Purple for moods that are neither here nor there. I also have my anxious and tired moods as a purple neutral mood as well. Blue are my meh and my bad moods. I also have my irritable mood there as well. And dark gray for my overwhelmed, terrible, horrible and my stupendously awful moods. On average, I'm generally a terrible mood. Not as bad as a horrible or a stupendously awful mood, but definitely worse than a meh or a bad mood." I picked up my phone from the nightstand and clicked into my Daylio app. I went to my calendar and showed him the colored numbers. Ranger looked at it, his body tense and still, his face in his 'not happy' look. "I'm sorry", I said as I looked at his face. Tears came to my eyes. "I'll try to do better."

Ranger put down my phone and captured me in a hug. "I'm not upset with you, babe. I'm upset to know that you've been feeling as bad as you have. You hide it well."

I smiled tremulously. "Thank you", I said. "I try."

"Yes, but I want to know. You can hide it with everyone else, but I want to know." Ranger picked up my phone and looked through the detailed entries. He noted the times. "This is what you were doing all those times when your phone chimed?"

"Yes."

He looked through the entries a little further. "For the four weeks before Tia was born, the first four weeks that you kept your log, you had many stupendously awful days. However, now your days are often terrible rather than stupendously awful or even horrible. It may be a slight improvement, but it is going in the right direction."

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his shoulder. "Thanks", I said. "Sometimes I need a cheerleader. When you're down at the bottom of the pit and are trying to claw your way up, it's hard to notice the small improvements that you are making."

"Everybody needs a cheerleader sometimes, babe." He looked again. "You started medication three days after Tia was born, so three weeks ago today?"

I nodded.

Ranger looked at my chart again. "It looks like that was the beginning of the shift from stupendously awful days to terrible days."

"Yes, but I don't think it is enough."

Ranger kissed me. "I don't think it is enough either. Do you still feel like you are being punished for being a horrible person?"

I sighed. "Livy keeps telling me that it is just a biochemical imbalance that doesn't have any relation to anything I did or didn't do. She says it just is."

"Do you believe it?"

I smiled. "I'm working on it."

Ranger thought about smiling. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"That's what I'll be talking to Gabriel about today."

"I'm glad you are meeting with him. He's a nice person."

"I figure that I'll take Tia with me."

"Okay."

"And when I come back, after I have fed Tia her next feeding I will go to the pharmacy with my new prescription, if it is okay with you." I sighed. "I figure I have to leave the Rangeman building by myself sometime, and doing it when I have a meeting with Livy tomorrow is a good time to do it. I can't hide at Rangeman for forever."

Ranger blew out a breath. "I know what you mean. I'll be just as anxious as you when you are gone." He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Julie and I can look after Tia, and when you get back you could have a nap if you wanted one."

I smiled. "I'll see. It seems that I spend all my time sleeping."

"If you are tired, it's important", said Ranger. He looked suddenly frustrated. "I don't know how else to help you."

"Just be there. That's all you can do."

Ranger smiled suddenly. "Your mother didn't call last night."

I laughed. "The bet was that she would call in the first twenty-four hours. My guess is that she'll call when my grandmother is down for her nap. We still have another twelve hours or so until I lose the bet."

"It's looking promising for me. I'm glad we bet our usual boon."

"Why's that? Usually, if I win the bet, I get a massage. And if you win the bet, you are allowed to give me a massage. Either way, I'm the winner."

Ranger smiled. "No, babe. I am definitely the winner here."

"Two more weeks", I said.

Ranger smiled again. "I'll just enjoy getting my hands on your bare skin. Using massage oils will just make it better."

"Do we even have any massage oil? We've always used body lotion instead."

"Nope, but we can always buy some. I have never needed extra oils in the past."

"I know. I make my own lube." I paused. "However, if Vinnie is right I won't be making much lube while I am breastfeeding."

Ranger made a face. "There are some things, babe, I don't particularly want your cousin to be thinking about, and your lube is one of them."

I laughed. "I know they call us kissing cousins, but I just want you to know that I have never kissed him in my life, and I wouldn't want to. I'd be afraid of what germs I might be picking up."

Ranger made a face. "That was a visual I really didn't need, babe."

I laughed.

Julie got out of the shower as I finished my coffee, and I put away my mood chart so that Julie didn't see it. We could hear her get dressed before she came out of the bathroom with a comb in her hand. "You can use the shower now", she said. "I was thinking that I'd sit and comb out my hair with Steph and Tia."

"Thanks, pipsqueak", said Ranger. He got to his feet and disappeared into the closet. He emerged a few seconds later with a stack of clean clothes. "Ella had made a new batch of coconut cream sauce for pancakes, and she gave us a jar of it yesterday. I was thinking whole wheat pancakes with coconut sauce for breakfast. What do you think of that?"

"Sounds yummy", I said.

"Can I make a fruit salad to go with it?" said Julie.

Ranger smiled. "Of course."

"That would be awesome", I said. "I adore fruit salad. I think, in all honesty, it's the best way to eat fruit."

Ranger thought about smiling. "So Julie and I shouldn't make the strawberry-rhubarb crisp that we were thinking of making for dessert tonight?"

I paused. "Okay, maybe fruit salad is my second-most favorite way of eating fruit", I said.

Ranger and Julie laughed.


	22. Chapter 22

While Ranger and Julie made breakfast, I had a long, hot shower. My muscles still ached from Tia's birth, although Livy said that it might be the depression that was causing the muscles aches rather than residual from the birth. I thought that a lot was being attributed to my bad mood, and I wasn't sure if I liked it. It seemed to be too pat an answer, too easy an answer for something that, to me, shouldn't be related.

I dried my hair and put on makeup as I wondered if I was tempting the fates. I was, after all, going to see Gabriel. However, I didn't think I would cry. Of course, I never thought I would cry with Livy either, but I had yet to get through a session with her without bursting into tears. It always surprised me. I often felt too sad, too empty, to cry. Just in case, I washed my face and took my makeup off again. I would rather be caught by my staff without makeup on than to be caught with it smeared halfway down my face.

I walked through to the bedroom and into the walk-in closet. I looked at the clothes and sighed. I would be glad when I was no longer wearing maternity clothes. While I liked the clothes that I had to wear, I was tired of being large. Besides, I had made a comment to Ranger when we bought my maternity clothes, and said that my maternity clothes were nicer than my regular clothes. It was true. I had been a well-dressed pregnant woman. Ranger had told me that, when my weight stabilized, he would take me shopping again to buy another new wardrobe for my non-pregnant size.

My maternity clothes encompassed a number of outfits that satisfied a number of functions, from dressy dinners to court clothes to casual clothes. I had dressed in separates, and the range in clothes and all the functions they were appropriate for astounded me. I liked having all the different options available for things to wear. I especially liked having the option to wear more business-casual clothes. While I loved to wear dresses and suits, it wasn't something I had been able to wear for work in a long time. When I was a bounty hunter, it didn't make sense to wear clothes that were dry-clean only. The number of times that I rolled around on the ground with a skip made wearing a dress or skirt a dumb idea, and getting grass stains out of a suit was challenging. But while I have enjoyed the ability to avoid wearing pantyhose, I missed wearing clothes that made me feel important and pulled together.

When I started at Rangeman, I was given a uniform of fatigue pants and a logoed t-shirt to wear. I was proud to wear that uniform. It was comfortable and casual and since it also didn't require me to wear pantyhose, it ticked all my boxes. Even better, the black color hid grass stains and the durable nature of the material meant that it was good for rolling around on the ground with skips.

For months, I was the only female on staff and because of that I was allowed to wear yoga pants or leggings with my Rangeman shirt. That had worked well for me, especially when I was newly pregnant and too small to fit into maternity wear but too big to fit into my fatigues. There was always something good about everything. I was no longer the only female on staff, the oddity and the token woman. That was good. However, now that I was one of many females on staff I would need to wear my full uniform. That was bad. I liked my yoga pants.

In addition to the uniform of a Rangeman shirt and fatigues and a hoody, Ranger offered a dressier uniform for all staff who had more formal, public-facing jobs. This uniform consisted of a black suit, and a white or black shirt. For men, it also included a black or gray tie. Ranger often wore his black suit with a black tie and a black shirt, but then his favorite color was black. For women, they were allowed to wear either a skirt suit or a pant suit, depending upon their preference. Alternatively, women were allowed to wear a white or black or gray dress.

I had a black maternity skirt suit that I had been wearing to court during my pregnancy. I hadn't had a need for a black suit before I got pregnant. The work that I had done then didn't involve me going to court. However, now that the department had been developed as much as it had over the last year, the need to go to court occurred much more frequently. When I got back to work full-time, I would be the person representing the research department in court, and Ranger and I estimated that I would have to spend about four days a month in court representing Rangeman. Miguel and Dirk were very happy that I would be doing the work rather than having to go to court themselves. Miguel was the person who was currently representing Rangeman, and he apparently hated every minute of it. I could totally understand his pain. Going to court always seemed like a waste of time to me when I could be doing much more interesting work. Every job had its negatives, and court appearances were definitely one of the worst parts about being the Research Director.

I didn't know what to wear that day, and as I perused my choices an overwhelmed feeling washed over me, and tears came to my eyes. I tried to tell myself that it really didn't matter what I wore, but despite what I told myself, tears flowed down my face.

Ranger walked into the dressing room. He took one look at my face and captured me in a hug. "You okay?" he said as he kissed me on the top of my head.

"No", I said. I sniffled. "I don't know what to wear."

"You're crying because you don't know what to wear?"

I sniffled again. "I know. It's silly, right? But I didn't know what to wear and then I got overwhelmed with the options and then I started to cry."

"Okay, babe. We can fix this. Do you want to wear a dress or a skirt or a pair of pants?"

"I don't know."

Ranger let go of me for a second, and reached into the closet. He pulled out a short-sleeved cross-over nursing dress in a blue and white striped pattern. "I like this dress on you", he said. "The blue matches the blue in your eyes, and it looks comfortable but sexy."

"It's a cotton jersey."

"That's why it looks comfortable. But it's got that sexy cross-over in the front that makes me think that I could just pull the fabric down a little and then I'd be able to see your breasts and, quite frankly, I am all for seeing your breasts."

I laughed as I put on a nursing bra. Ranger spun me around and did up the hooks at the back. "Only you could find a nursing dress sexy."

"Yeah? Well, don't even get me started on nursing bras", he said with a smile.

I grinned and brushed away the tears. "Thanks", I said. I tiptoed up and kissed him, then pulled the dress over my head.

Ranger pulled the dress down and smoothed it over my butt. "Any time." He gave me a kiss. "Breakfast is ready."

"Just let me put my hair up in a ponytail, and I'll be right out."

Ranger smiled at me and gave me another kiss, and left for the kitchen to pour milk for everyone. I headed back into the bathroom and swallowed back my tears. I washed my face again and put up my hair in a high ponytail, and minutes later emerged from the bathroom to eat my breakfast.

After breakfast, I put Tia in her car seat again. She was sleeping but, because she was coming up to her feeding time, I didn't think that she would be asleep for too much longer. Ranger carried Tia down to my appointment for me as he and Julie left to do some target practice in the gun range in the basement. They wanted to get their practice in early. We had arranged with Joe and Tracy to have them over for dinner, and they wouldn't be able to practice later.

Gabriel was ready to see me almost immediately after I had arrived for my appointment. He called me in, and I sat down with Tia at my feet. "How are things going?" said Gabriel.

"They're going okay, I think", I said. "Ranger and Julie and I are starting to get a pattern down as to how our days will go."

"How are you finding it having Julie there?"

"She's a hoot. I really like Julie, and I'm happy that she is staying as long as she is."

"I hear a 'but' in there."

"I just wish I was enjoying her more. I feel guilty that I'm not more upbeat and vibrant for her. It must be a downer to have to deal with me."

"I doubt that. You are a positive person, and a nice person to be around. You have a good sense of humor and a sense of life about you that makes people want to spend time with you. I'm sure that Julie is just as happy to spend time with you as you are to spend time with her. How has your mood been?" I opened the Daylio app and passed over my phone. Gabriel looked at it. "Tell me in words how you are feeling."

"Overwhelmed, worthless, too empty to cry – but then I cry anyway. It's like there is a crushing weight on me, a despair unlike anything I have felt before. I feel like I've fallen down a black hole and there are no toeholds on the sides of the pit to scramble up and, even if there were, there is a heavy weight on my shoulders that makes any movement impossible. It makes it hard to breathe, let alone be a functional human being. I was so overwhelmed with the choice of what to wear that I started crying this morning. Ranger had to pick out my outfit today." I shook my head. "It was pretty silly. I knew it didn't matter what I wore. However, I couldn't stop myself and I started crying anyway."

"How is your irritability?"

"It's pretty bad. We were at my parents' house last night, and I had to deal with both my sister and my grandmother. They are challenging at the best of times, but it seemed somehow worse last night. Add in the fact that there were seven kids there, including Julie and Tia, and six adults, including Ranger and me, and the house was full. It was noisy and chaotic, and normally that wouldn't bother me at all. However, by the end of the evening I just wanted to scream at everyone to shut the fuck up, and I was so thankful to get into the car and have the chance to go home to a place where life was a bit saner."

"I can understand that. The last time we talked, you said that you had lost interest in almost everything. Do you still feel that way?"

"Yes. It's hard, because in about two or three weeks I'll be cleared to have sex again, and I keep telling Ranger that I can't wait until I am cleared for take-off. In reality, though, I'm not interested at all. I know that is partly because I am tired – although how I can be tired, I don't know. I've been sleeping twelve hours a day at least, and often more like fourteen when you take into account my naps. I keep telling myself that, when we are able to, Ranger will just have to initiate things and I'll be interested again. But I'm actually getting kind of worried about it. I'm almost physically repelled by the idea."

"How is the fatigue?"

"Overwhelming. Everything takes so much effort. I feel like I have achieved the impossible when I get up for the day. Breathing seems to take too much effort, and just existing seems like it is too much to ask."

"Are you suicidal or do you have any thoughts about ending it all?"

"No. Tia needs me still." I paused. "I daydream about not having to feel so bad, but that doesn't mean that I want to die. I just want to stop feeling bad. There's a difference."

"How is your eating?"

"I'm still not interested in food. I am eating so that I can feed Tia rather than because I am hungry or because I want to eat. Food doesn't have any flavor, and no foods appeal to me. It's bad, because Ranger is trying so hard to make tasty meals that make me happy. I feel so guilty. He is just trying so hard, and I'm not doing my part." I shuddered in a breath and had the brief thought that I was glad that I had taken off my makeup.

"Have you talked at all with Ranger about how you are feeling?"

"I did a bit today. He said that he would be happy to see my mood chart, so I showed him. I felt guilty though, as I think it upset him. I was wondering whether you could talk to him about what I am feeling and maybe present it to him so that he isn't upset. It's just got to be hard for him. He's adjusting to a new wife and a new baby, and all the time I'm being no help. My body aches so I'm grumpy. I cry over stupid things. I can't think worth beans and I feel like I've lost my sense of humor. I'm not the person he fell in love with, and I feel so incredibly guilty that, no matter how much I try, I'm not able to get her back. I'm frustrated that I can't snap out of this."

"It's my impression that Ranger understands that this is an illness. This isn't a bad mood, it's not the blues, and it isn't something you can snap out of. This is clinical depression. It's a major illness. Do you know the biochemical processes that are affected by depression?"

I shook my head.

"Depression, or clinical depression, is a physical problem that largely results in mental symptoms. We think what is happening to cause depression is that, in your brain, you have many, many cells. Between those cells are spaces called synapses. So the way it works is that brain cell A emits a biochemical into synapse A. The presence of the biochemical is sensed by brain cell B, so it emits a biochemical into the next synapse along the line. When brain cell B emits its biochemical, brain cell A realizes that it has done its job and it sucks back the biochemical to be used again at a later date.

"That's what happens in a healthy brain. In someone who is depressed, however, the biochemical is sucked back too quickly for brain cell B to realize that the biochemical was in the synapse, and consequently the relay system isn't working. This is solved by keeping the biochemical in the synapse longer so that the message is more effectively passed for brain cell to brain cell, from synapse to synapse.

"There are many biochemicals that influence mood, but one of the main ones is serotonin. The medication I am prescribing is called a SSRI, or a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor. It's a fancy way of saying that the medication stops the brain cells from sucking back all that serotonin prematurely."

"So this really is a physical problem."

"Yes. It doesn't come about because you failed to do something or because you did something you weren't supposed to. No one is at fault. This is simply your body crapping out on you."

"I want this to go away."

"I understand. You are taking the steps you need to make it go away. You are taking your medication, and I would suggest that we increase your dosage. You are taking a very low dose, and there is definitely room to maximize your prescription. You are also meeting with Livy and through your work with her you are learning new, healthier ways of thinking and viewing situations and reacting to the stresses around you. You are doing everything you should, Stephanie. Now you just have to keep doing everything, and I have no doubt that you will soon be feeling better."

"Why did this happen?"

"Nobody knows why it happens. There are a whole lot of risk factors. Part of this may be because you were pregnant. Hormonal changes can have an impact upon your mood. Part of this may be because you are the kind of person you are. You are a kind person who likes people to be happy, and who looks down on herself and views herself as being worthless. You put other people's happiness before your own. You would do anything to help another person, no matter the cost to yourself, simply because you don't consider yourself as valuable as others. Seeing yourself as worthless, as a failure, however, is inviting depression in to take residence, and that's one of the reasons you are in talk therapy with Livy. You'll learn new ways of thinking about yourself, and Livy will help you take the blinders off so that you can see yourself as the valuable person that you are."

Tia let out a squawk, and I lifted her from her seat, adjusted my top, and started to feed her.

Gabriel smiled. "Stephanie? This? This is what life is all about. That little one doesn't care whether you think of yourself as worthless. You are the most important person in the world to her. It's your voice that she has heard for the last nine months. It's your heartbeat that she's fallen asleep to. You are everything to her."

Tears came to my eyes. "I know", I said.

"Let's talk about side effects."


	23. Chapter 23

I walked out lugging the infant seat with Tia sleeping peacefully, a prescription in my other hand. Gabriel had increased the dosage of my antidepressant, which I was happy about. I had also given Gabriel permission to talk to Ranger about my symptoms, which I was also happy about. I had to sign a form, but I was glad that I had done that. I trusted Gabriel not to say too much, and it would make things much easier for me if Ranger heard from Gabriel what was going on. I didn't particularly want to talk about it. Despite what Gabriel said, despite what Livy said, I still felt a little like it was a personality defect rather than an illness, and I still felt like I should be snapping myself out of it.

I walked over to the secretary to make another appointment for three weeks away, and I heard Ranger's voice as he and Julie came into the waiting room. "Hi", said Ranger as he came up to me and gave me a kiss. "Good appointment?"

"I only went through one box of tissues, so I consider it a success", I said.

Ranger smiled as he inspected my face. He looked relieved when he saw only traces of tears. I had to be the ugliest crier around. Some people were dainty criers and when they were finished you could hardly tell that they had been crying. Not me. When I cried everyone could tell within milliseconds of looking at me. My face turned splotchy. My eyes turned watery and red and swollen. My nose got stuffed up, and people are left knowing that I either was having a severe allergic reaction or I had been crying and, just judging by the severity of the splotchy face/red and swollen eyes/stuffed up nose, it might have actually been both.

Gabriel came to the door of the office and saw Ranger and Julie. He said hi and looked around and, when he didn't see his next patient, he said, "Ranger, Stephanie has given me approval to talk to you about the symptoms she is experiencing." I looked at Ranger, and he looked relieved. "My next patient is late, and I could take you now and talk to you for a few minutes."

Ranger turned to me. "Do you mind?"

"No." I took a deep breath. "How about Julie and Tia and I go to the pharmacy while you talk with Gabriel, and we'll meet you back at the apartment in about half an hour?" Ranger smiled worriedly. "It would be helpful to me to have Julie there."

He nodded and gave me another kiss. "Okay. Be safe."

Gabriel turned to the secretary. "Just knock on my door when the next person shows up so that I know to finish talking to Ranger."

The secretary smiled, and Ranger walked into Gabriel's treatment room as I turned to Julie and smiled brightly. As we left the office and got on the elevator, I said, "how was target practice?"

"Awesome!" said Julie. "I got a couple of bullseyes. To be honest, they were flukes and I don't know what I did to get them, but I was pretty happy about it anyway. There are a lot of things to remember when shooting, and I'm starting to remember them myself. Dad is a very good teacher, isn't he?"

"Your dad is one of the best teachers around. Even now, after practicing as much as I did, I learn something new from him every time I train with him."

"Dad said that you were a good shot and you learned how to do it very quickly."

I laughed. "I don't know about that", I said. "I do know, however, that I was an infinitely better shot by the time I got pregnant and we decided that it was too loud for the Tia to hear, than I was when I started learning how to shoot. After all, it wasn't like we were able to put ear protection on her."

Julie laughed. "That would have looked funny when you delivered her."

I chuckled. We arrived in the basement and I guided Julie towards the car and opened the doors. I locked Tia's car seat into place, and Julie and I settled in the front seat. I backed out of the parking spot and drove out of the lot. As we drove out, Julie said quietly, "Steph? Dad told me that you were upset this morning. I feel bad that I didn't realize that anything was wrong."

"Sweetie, I didn't want you to know that anything was wrong."

"I just want you to know that you don't have to entertain me and, if you feel like crying or you feel down, you can say that. You don't have to protect me."

Tears came to my eyes, and I was glad that the pharmacy was as close to the Rangeman building as it was. I parked in the parking lot and turned to Julie. "I appreciate that you are so understanding. I try to hide it from you because it is important to me that you have a good time, and I don't think that you'll have a very good time with us if I keep crying. However, I also try to hide it from everybody because I see myself as an upbeat, positive person and when I am crying and down at the mouth it conflicts with who I want to be."

Julie snorted. "You are one of the most upbeat and positive people I know, whether you are fighting with depression or not. You always have something nice to say about other people and you look for the good in every situation. I love spending time with you because you are the person you are. I asked Livy what you needed to help you feel better, and she said that you needed lots of sleep and a quiet, calm place to just be. She said that you needed someone who understood that everything was a struggle. I get that. I've seen that those things are important to my mom, so I am used to trying to provide those things. I guess I'm just trying to say that you don't have to entertain me, that I don't take it personally if you need quiet or you need to sleep, and I want to make this work for you. I'm having a great time this summer so far, and I want to come back next year."

I smiled. "Really? I would be thrilled if you came back next summer."

"I've already talked about it with my mom, and she said that she and Ron will save up to take another trip next summer. She said that she was so excited about this trip this year. She had always wanted to travel more, but with me being younger she didn't think it was fair. She asked me whether I would mind if they travelled without me, or whether I would want to go with them. I told her the truth and that was that I was happy that they were getting some alone time together. Mom and Ron are very dedicated to me, and they don't even go out on dates. I think that alone time is important. I also said that, if I was coming up to see Dad when they were travelling, I didn't mind them travelling without me at all. Mom said that she had always wanted to go on a driving trip across the US, and maybe they would do something like that next year."

"Did you not want to go?"

"Spending hours in the car driving across the US? No thanks. I like flying, and spending hours in a car is not my idea of fun."

I laughed. "I actually feel the same way. I find a car good for getting from one place to another, but willingly sitting in a car for hours for the sake of seeing what you can out the windows doesn't seem like a lot of fun to me."

Julie laughed. "Exactly. So don't worry so much about me having a good time. I'm having a great time. I'm glad my mom is getting time with Ron without having me underfoot. I imagine that it is nice for my mother to have time without being a mom."

I smiled. As much as I loved being a mom and a stepmom, I could also see that there would be value in having a holiday from it in the future.

"I mean, I identify myself as a student, but it is nice to have a holiday from it. No matter how much I like school, having a break is nice."

"Jules, you are one of the most intuitive and understanding people I know."

"I also wanted to let you know that, when Dad goes back to work, if you want a nap when Tia doesn't need fed, I can look after her. I have taken my babysitting course and my infant CPR and first aid course, and I would love to spend some alone time with her."

Tears came to my eyes again. I sniffled and pulled Julie into a hug. "Thanks, sweetie", I said. "Gabriel prescribed an increase in medication, so I hope that I am feeling better soon. But if I don't, I'll definitely take you up on your offer."

Julie smiled in happiness. "Even if you are feeling better, I would be happy to look after Tia for you."

I chuckled.

It was getting hot in the car, and I turned to Julie. "Let's get this prescription into the pharmacy, and perhaps we can look around and buy anything you might need that we don't have at the apartment. I know that I need more hair elastics. For some reason, they are something that I need to stock up on every now and then. I don't know what happens to mine. I suspect that your dad eats them when I am sleeping. That could by why he is so flexible. He's like a human elastic and is able to do amazing things like touch his toes."

Julie laughed as she got out of the car, and I got out and pulled Tia's infant car seat out, locked the door and carted Tia into the drug store. "Maybe the house hippo takes them and uses them in his nest", she said.

"The house hippo?"

Julie's eyes began to sparkle. "Yes. He looks like a naked guinea pig and lives under beds and in other dark corners of a house. He takes things like socks and makes a nest out of them. That's why, when you do the laundry, there are always unmatched socks. The house hippo has taken the matches for his nest. He takes other things as well. I read a book on them once. It had pictures of them and everything."

I laughed.

Julie smiled. "Seriously, there was a radio station in Miami that had done some promos for a book store. One of the promos they did was for a book about the elusive house hippo and they said that it could be found in the reference section of the bookstore. People phoned the bookstore to ask for the author of the book. Another promo they did was for a mystery book. In the book, someone was killed and the promo talked about the person who had done it, how they had done it and the reason they had done it. Apparently the bookstore had several calls asking for the name of the book." I laughed. "Why would people want to read a mystery book when they already know the answer to the puzzle?"

"That's a very good question. I don't actually read very much. I mean, I read a lot at work, but I don't read much for pleasure."

"I do", said Julie. "I love to read, and I'd rather read than watch television."

"Do you have any good books to read?"

"I'm out of books."

"How about we ask your dad to take you to the library this afternoon to select some books while I have my afternoon nap?"

Julie grinned. "Do you think he'd mind?"

"Not at all", I said. "I think he'd be thrilled to do that with you."

I handed in my prescription and was told to come back in fifteen minutes. I checked the time and led Julie away from the pharmacist, and headed over to the hair section. I got some elastics for both Julie and me, and I picked up the package of hair bands that Julie was looking at. Julie added, at my encouragement, a bottle of her favorite shampoo and conditioner and body wash to the cart. We added a new razor and shaving cream for Julie – apparently she had forgotten hers at home – and a package of replacement blades. I bought a new deodorant for myself, and a new body lotion for Julie that smelled like coconuts. And then, because we still had a few minutes, I led Julie to the skin care section and we each selected face masks to try one night. Julie selected a mud mask to clean out her pores and to take away the oiliness of her teenaged skin, whereas I selected a rejuvenating mask to help refresh my skin. The package said that it would make my skin glow, and I thought I could use all the glowing I could get.

By the time we had finished shopping, my prescription was ready. I got my directions for taking the medication and checked out our purchases and, as we walked out of the store, Paul Sinn approached us. "Stephanie?" he said.

I pushed Julie behind me. "Hello, Paul", I said. "How are you?"

"Terrible", he said, "and it's all your fault."

I sighed. Why did people always blame me for the consequences to their own actions? "How is it my fault?" I said with another sigh.

"You arranged for me to be arrested, and now I have to return all that money to ensure that my profession isn't seen as fraud."

"But it was fraud."

"I shouldn't have been arrested", said Paul.

"Did you tell all those people that you'd install water filtration systems?"

"Yes, of course. And I fully intended to install the systems."

"And did you arrange with those people dates for the systems to be installed?"

"Yes. But I was in a car accident with the systems and was unable to install them."

"All six hundred times?"

Paul looked uncomfortable.

"I hate to tell you, but the police were right in arresting you for committing fraud. You have been taking the money from good citizens in New Jersey and failing to deliver on the systems they bought. Add in the fact that you are selling them systems that they didn't need in the first place and telling those citizens that you were there representing the municipality when you were, in fact, not, is fraud. You are a criminal, Paul."

Paul pulled a gun, and my heart rate sped up to double-time. He pointed it at Tia. "Tell the police that they need to drop the charges, or I will shoot the baby."

"I will call the police, but I can't guarantee that the police will drop the charges." I pulled out my phone and called Ranger. "Hello", I said. "Julie and I are at the pharmacy and we have Paul Sinn with us. He has asked me to call the police and tell you that you need to drop the charges."

"Am I on speakerphone?" said Ranger.

"No."

"Am I pretending to be the police?"

"Yes. Paul has a gun pulled on Tia, so I think he means business."

Julie turned to Paul. "My sister isn't a very good bargaining chip", she said. "You'd be better taking me as the person you are threatening. The baby is just a baby and she's too little to yet be loved. I, however, am loved deeply by the person my stepmom is calling."

"Shit. That's not good", I said. "Julie, don't do that."

"I'm on my way", said Ranger. "Hang on and I'll call Joe." I could hear him clatter down the stairs to the car, and he put me on hold as he called Joe and patched him into the call.

When Joe picked up, Ranger put him on the phone and explained the situation. "What's happening now?" said Joe. I could hear him run to his car and slam the door as he got in, turned the car on, and change the call to a hands-free one.

"Julie has offered herself up as a sacrifice so that Tia is no longer threatened."

"Fuck", said Morelli.

"I'll be there in one minute", said Ranger.

"What is the police saying?" said Paul. He was holding Julie in front of him, a gun trained on her temple.

"They are saying that they need to see you personally to be able to remove the arrest warrant, and that they are on their way."

"I'm in the parking lot", said Ranger.

"We're inside the pharmacy", I said. "We're at the front, near the cashier."

"Who are you talking to?" asked Paul. He was starting to lose it, and I think Julie noticed that as well.

"The police. They will be here in a few minutes, and they wanted to know where to find us."

Julie simultaneously thrust his hand into the air as she kicked out his knee as hard as she could, and his gun went off as she turned around and bit him on his arm. The other shoppers screamed and the cashier hit the ground and hid behind the counter.

"Fuck!" he said. He tried to get his hand down, and Julie kicked back on his knee again. As he crumpled to the floor, she grabbed hold of his gun and twisted it out of his hand as Ranger ran into the store. She trained the gun on Paul as he lay on the ground whimpering, and she kicked him as hard as she could in the ribs. His face turned white with pain. "That's what you get for threatening my sister", she said. Then she added under her breath, "asshole."

Ranger looked at his daughter and grinned. He took the gun away from her. She was starting to shake in reaction. "You done good, Jules", he said. "I couldn't have handled it better myself."

She beamed.

I put my arm around her and pulled her back from Paul. "I told you that you were just like your dad. You're able to respond to a tense situation and take control of it, just like him. Thank you." Julie smiled.

Morelli ran into the pharmacy. He pulled out his cuffs and looked at Paul. "What did you do to him?" he said to Ranger.

Ranger grinned. "I didn't do anything. Julie offered herself up to be taken as a hostage rather than have Tia threatened. The best I can tell is that, when he was distracted, she attacked just like I've been teaching her in her self-defense lessons. I got here as she was disarming him."

"Nice", said Morelli with a grin. "You have to watch the little ones. They are the human dynamos." Julie turned red in embarrassment as he turned to me. "Ranger got here late to the party. What happened from the beginning?"

"It was as Ranger said." I hugged Julie closer to me as I tried to still my own shaking. "Paul was threatening Tia and had a gun trained on her. Julie said that she was a much better hostage and convinced him somehow to threaten her instead. Paul took her hostage and Julie waited until his attention was diverted. She kicked out his knee and thrust his gun into the air, and he shot his gun into the ceiling. Julie bit him and kicked out his knee again with enough force that he fell on the floor and, when he did, she twisted the gun out of his hand. By that time, Ranger was there watching to see how he could help, but Julie had it well under control. Ranger took the gun away from her and held it on Paul until you showed up."

Morelli turned to Julie. "Congratulations. That's the second time you have acted to protect a member of your family. Do you have anything to add?"

"Yeah. Can we buy some mouthwash? He tasted disgusting."

Ranger laughed. "I think that can be arranged."

Tia let out a squawk and Ranger turned to Morelli. "Do you need us for anything? I think Tia needs to be fed."

"Stay available by cell phone, and I will come by your place later to get an official statement."

Ranger turned to me. "I'll get a patroller to pick up my car later today. Let's go home together." He picked up Tia's car seat, and put his arm around Julie. He cuddled her into him and kissed her on the top of her head. "Proud of you, pipsqueak."

She smiled.

As we walked out to the car, I said, "did you get much of an appointment with Gabriel?"

"I actually had all that time with him. His next appointment didn't show up."

"That was fortunate for you."

He kissed me on the top of my head. "I'm proud of you as well, babe. You are dealing with a lot that most people would never suspect that you are dealing with." Tears came to his eyes. "You are doing such a good job, and I am so very happy that you married me."

I sniffled as I smiled. "Thanks, Ranger."

Ranger snapped Tia's car seat into the base as Julie and I got in the car and, as Ranger drove to the Rangeman building again, my mother called. "I'm in the basement, your grandmother is napping, it's your sister's day off and she's looking after the kids, and the washing machine is on. What's going on?"

I turned to Ranger. "I won the bet", I said. "You'd better be prepared to pay up tonight, soldier boy."

Ranger laughed. "My pleasure."

_~ The End ~_

_Thank you for reading Fraud 40. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Since life is getting in the way and I have been having trouble keeping up to the posting schedule, I'm going to hang off on starting to post Orientation 41 for a bit. I hope everyone stays well, and I'll see you again in a few weeks when life settles down. – Sarah _


End file.
